Because it's my first time in love
W. Flower Seed
I still vividly remember that day. It was the day I left the school I'd grown attached to and went into hiding, unable to adjust to the new one.
“No one is here, right?”
Through the carefully opened door, I saw a boy with enormous eyes. I stared at his face, my face filled with bewilderment. His tiny face, his eyes taking up half of the room, his sharp features—I couldn't tear my gaze away. "Oh, but I've seen him somewhere. I don't often see such a handsome face…" Just as I was about to think to myself, a sharp voice came from the other end.
“What are you looking at?”
At the man whose sharp voice seemed to match his handsome face, I tilted my head slightly with an awkward expression. Ah… I really think I’ve seen that face somewhere. It looks exactly like ice… Ice, ice… Ice!? A memory suddenly flashed before my eyes, as if it were a lie, and I unconsciously raised my head and looked at the man. Yes. It was that face.
"…crazy."
I have to run away. That was all I could say at the time.
To explain our unlikely connection, I had to go back a year. It was the day I turned 18 and botched my first mock exam. I'd let my guard down, having done well on the last mock exam of my freshman year. Because of that, I spent the entire day at school, completely drained. Song Kang, who was watching me like this, must have been frustrated, so he grabbed my hand and dragged me to my favorite dessert cafe.
“Your face is dying.”
Despite having been forced to come out at Kang-i's behest, I felt better after tucking into a few desserts. He must have been trying to console me, telling me I could do better next time, that I'd done well enough. But it didn't resonate with me. It was even more frustrating for the perennial runner-up to receive consolation from the top student. With that mindset, my head automatically bowed. I leaned over the table, leaning against it, and spoke in a torrential voice.
"This March's mock exam... I got more than half of the non-literature questions wrong. Why would a science passage suddenly appear on the exam? A liberal arts major like me wouldn't be able to answer science or math passages correctly."
“Yeah. Even from my perspective, this passage seems difficult.”
If science was that hard, how much harder must it have been for liberal arts? The anger that had been quelled by the sweet dessert seemed to surge back up, so I raised my head and bit off a piece of cake with my fork.
“Those who gave me trouble this time, just pass by and get drenched in water!”
“It’s a light punishment for being angry?”
Song Kang, leaning his chin against the table, chuckled and said, "But I can't tell you to die. I just gave you a difficult question..." He trailed off. Actually, the problem was an excuse. I did so well on the last mock exam last year that I slacked off a bit this time. I regretted it later, but it was already over.
"Let's eat this today and then go prepare for the next mock exam. If you don't do well on the next one, I'll have to bring you here again."
Song Kang naturally picked up the breadcrumbs on his lips with his hand and ate them himself. Another man would have been startled and blushed, but because they had been close since childhood, Song Kang's behavior was so familiar that it almost seemed natural.
“Ugh… Hey, look over there.”
“What is it?”
“The guy over there drinking a chocolate smoothie is so damn handsome.”
Song Kang's head naturally turned back. I was captivated by the man's face, my expression ecstatic. How can someone's face look like that?... Song Kang's face, in front of my admiring face, seemed filled with discontent.
“I’m not bad either…”
Perhaps trying to express that he wasn't ugly, Song Kang's figure, chewing on the end of a straw, came into view. Actually, Song Kang is on the handsome side. No, he's incredibly handsome. That's why he gets confessions all the time at school. Maybe it's because we've been friends since we were young... Somehow, he doesn't seem like a man to me.
“Yeah, yeah, you’re handsome too.”
Song Kang's eyes furrowed. He seemed to sense my attempt at soothing him, and his expression showed that he wasn't pleased. Of course, I was trying to soothe him, but calling him handsome wasn't a lie either...
“Oh my, our eyes met.”
When I locked eyes with the man, I quickly lowered my head. After a moment, I raised it. His lips were moving... Is he talking to me? I pictured a situation that would appear in a random joke. Like falling in love at first sight... As I was imagining the happiness circuit, my eyes caught sight of the wireless earphones in his ears.
“……Oh, what is it? I was on the phone.”
I didn't know he was talking to me. My mood, which had almost lifted for a moment, cooled in an instant, like the wind blowing out from a flickering candle. Well, that's right, a handsome man like that talking to me... I felt awkward for no reason, and I sipped my coffee, but the man, having finished his business, walked out of the cafe, seemingly oblivious to my presence.
“He really is the Ice Prince.”
“…What about the prince.”
Until then, I thought he was just a person passing by in my peaceful daily life, like the gentle breeze blowing.
Until then,
…
Puck, ㅡ
“Oh, shit……”
The coffee I was holding stained the man's shirt. His chocolate smoothie tumbled to the floor. My forehead stung for a moment, but then the stain on his shirt caught my eye, and I unconsciously took a step back. I belatedly closed my eyes and apologized.
"sorry!!…"
"are you okay?!."
Song Kang, who had followed late, rolled his eyes at the current situation. At the question of whether he was okay, he felt a sense of relief, as if he had met a savior. He looked up at Song Kang, who was at least a head and a half older than him, and slowly nodded.
“Excuse me… I’ll pay for your laundry! I’m so sorry!!”
“Do you have money for laundry?” At his direct words, I instantly raised my head and said, “Yes?” Only then did I notice the logo on the dress shirt. A luxury brand. Wow, I got the wrong guy. I somehow thought he looked like a rich kid, but he really was a kid… What should I do? I just rolled my eyes, but Song Kang’s voice, as if holding back anger, was heard from behind me.
“I’ll give it to you instead. Is that okay?”
I stared at Song Kang, his tone shifting between formal and informal, perhaps offended by the man's words. Unlike me, Song Kang seemed to be a rich young man, so he seemed to be stepping forward, but I felt uncomfortable. He grabbed my arm and shook his head, as if to discourage me, but this time, the man's words spilled out.
"Laundry fee is fine. I'll just charge for the smoothie."
The man spoke calmly, as if he didn't care about the politeness. When I looked at him with eyes that asked if that was okay, he asked back, "You don't like it?" I quickly took my wallet out of my pocket and handed him the money for the smoothie. I felt both relieved and grateful at the same time.
That's what it was like...
…
‘Why on earth is that person here?’
Wasn't he an adult? I was surprised that he was a high school student like me, but I was also surprised that we ended up going to the same school. My surprise only lasted for a moment, and our eyes locked for a long time. The man looked at me with a blank expression. He seemed to not remember my face, so he smiled awkwardly and said, "... Okay, you came to the wrong place-." as he was about to step back.
A man's voice was heard.
"hey."
My whole body felt like it was stiffening.