Because love is the first time
W. Flower Seed
"hey."
Yes? No… Huh? Should I use informal speech or formal speech?… The hand holding the rooftop doorknob trembled without me knowing. Judging by the shirt he was wearing, he was probably the same age as me, or maybe younger… But his presence didn't seem like that of a high school student fixated on entrance exams.
“Is there a fire?”
Fire?… Is he a high school student smoking? I was dumbfounded for a moment, unable to say anything, and then the man broke the short silence by asking again, this time in an irritated tone. ‘Fire, is there a fire or not?’ I shook my head vigorously. There can’t be a fire… The man averted his gaze from me as soon as he realized there was no fire.
"Hey... smoking is bad for you. And, you still seem to be a student. You know smoking is prohibited for those under 19, right?"
The man's gaze suddenly turned and landed on my face. He had a very dissatisfied expression. Did I bother him for nothing? I was about to regret bothering him a hundred, a thousand times over at that fierce-looking expression... ... The man's face was just too handsome. At this point, I thought I should forgive him even if he caused a scene... But the man's face began to get closer and closer.
‘Huh?… Huh?, We’re getting too close…’
“What on earth do you think I am?”
The intimidating presence of the man looming right before my eyes automatically caused me to shrug my shoulders and cast my gaze down. No, maybe I said something wrong... His face was so cold and handsome that it was difficult to read his expression. Was he in a bad mood, or was he really asking for no reason? I wondered if I just kept my head down like that. A man's voice, mixed with a sigh, came from above.
“…Haa, I’m not going to smoke.”
Then? When I looked up at him with that expression, the man looked like he was asking why I had to explain this to him, but after shaking his head a few times, he obediently blurted out the reason.
“…I’m going to burn something.”
“What, are you trying to burn…?”
Unlike before, the man couldn't answer easily. "What? Surely this isn't a lie?" I thought, but just as I was about to hear him say, "No." As if he'd already figured out what I was thinking, he slowly looked me over. Then why can't he speak? I looked him over slowly, and a piece of paper caught my eye in his hand.
It's not A4 paper... It feels well-processed. Is it letter paper? Do people write letters these days? As he was mentally trying to figure out what the paper was, the man felt eyes on his hand and hid it behind his back.
And then, with the same face as before
“Anyway, there’s no fire.”
“Ah… yes, no, yeah…”
The man, who had crumpled up the paper nonchalantly and stuffed it into his pocket, passed me and went down through the rooftop door. Only after he had completely disappeared from sight did his shoulders feel lighter, as if the pressure had lifted.
‘I guess you don’t remember?…’
I'd planned to arrive early and hang out on the rooftop for a while, but I'd already been gone quite a bit since I'd met that guy. I belatedly arrived at Class 3-3 before first period started, and found the teacher waiting at the front door.
“I’m sorry! I’m so late!…”
As I bent down and exhaled the breath I had been holding while running quickly, my homeroom teacher said with a kind face, “It’s your first time at school, so it’s understandable that you might be late.” The teacher didn’t forget to encourage me. It seemed like this homeroom teacher was a good fit…! I had a good feeling about this.
Before transferring here, my previous school was a foreign language high school, with fierce competition for entrance exams and the worst homeroom teacher. While looks aren't always a requirement for a teacher, my hair was a mess, and whenever I took a mock exam, he'd nitpick and nitpick, stressing me out. Plus, the comparison to Song Kang, the former top student in the school... it's just painful to talk about.
Transferring was entirely my own will. I thought the entrance exams for a humanities high school would be easier than for a foreign language high school. And most importantly, this place wouldn't have that balding teacher. Seeing my new homeroom teacher, I felt nostalgia for my previous school. That feeling quickly vanished, and I felt like I'd adapt quickly to this school.
“Okay, shall we go inside now?”
"yes!."
As soon as I entered the classroom, all eyes were focused on the center of the classroom, where the teacher's desk was. As soon as I said, "I'm the transfer student who transferred today," all eyes, previously directed at the teacher, shifted to me. It was my first time introducing myself to someone, so I was nervous.
“Ah… Hello. My name is Yoon Su-hyeon, and I’m from the National Foreign Language High School.”
The moment I heard the words "National Foreign Language High School," the class stirred. I couldn't help but understand the reaction. National Foreign Language High School was known for its academic excellence, but it was also known for having the most expensive tuition in South Korea. Coming from such a school, it was only natural that I would become a topic of conversation among the class.
“Then, Soohyun… Should I sit next to Taehyung? Taehyung over there, he’s the kid who transferred yesterday.”
I moved my gaze towards the tip of the teacher's finger. But... what was that? That rooftop from earlier!... I was so surprised that I almost pointed at it without realizing it. His expression wasn't as overtly surprised as mine, but he was no less surprised.
“Do you two know each other?”
“No, that’s…”
Should I say we knew each other? Once at a cafe, once on the rooftop. We only met twice… Besides, we parted ways that first time, so we couldn't really be considered close. So, I was just going to pretend it wasn't true, but the man sitting by the window at the very end, called "Taehyung," looked at me with his chin resting on his hand and spoke.
“We know, right?”
Huh?. I couldn't help but feel a pang of sadness at his knowing behavior. A handsome man pretending to know me? Of course, it was nice. But, right now, I wasn't... pleased at all. I already got a lot of attention because of my previous school. If such a handsome man told me he knew me, I'd probably get a ton of attention, not just attention.
And, my prediction was not wrong.
“What, you two know each other?”
“I guess so. I think you’re close with Kim Taehyung.”
"No, that's not it!?" I wanted to shout, but I couldn't even open my mouth because of the sudden attention focused on me. As I just gaped and pursed my lips, the teacher clapped his hands, saying, "Good!" and pushed my back. "No, I told you we're not close, teacher!" I gave him a look that said, but the teacher didn't seem to even consider listening.
As I was pushed to the back seat, Taehyung looked up at me with a relaxed expression, his chin resting on his hand. As I hesitated, wondering whether to sit down, he tapped the seat next to him with his fingertips and spoke.
“Sit down.”
Yes. Like a robot with command functions, at his single word, I naturally pulled back my chair and sat down. After confirming my seat, the teacher, as soon as the first period bell rang, began to list the class for the day. I should quickly take out my notebook and take notes, too… With his gaze so intense that it made the side of my head swell, I couldn't hear a word the teacher said.
I thought there was no point in transferring like this, so I spoke in a low tone that only Taehyung could hear.
“…What’s on my face?”
"no."
The answer was embarrassingly concise. I barely suppressed the urge to scream, "But, why are you looking at me?!" I forced the corners of my mouth to curl up as high as I could, then asked again. "Then, why are you looking at me?" Taehyung's next response left a question mark in my head.
“Because it’s amazing.”
"uh?."
“The expression on your face is all there.”
He was talking so obviously, as if he were trying to find a silver lining. I stared at him, my expression uncomprehending. "He's human, so of course he'd show his expressions." I pulled a notebook out of my bag and began taking notes during the teacher's lecture. Taehyung's expression was unreadable.
“Now stop looking at me and listen to the class. If I get a hole in it, you’ll take responsibility.”
I said that because I was worried I'd lose focus in class if things continued like this, even though it was a hole. But Taehyung, trying to say something serious, stopped himself. "This is just not working," he said. "I'm trying to ignore what they're saying," he said, his gaze shifting to the blackboard. Then, Taehyung's voice came from right next to him.
“But why did you hesitate earlier?”
“What?”
The teacher asked if I knew him, and when Taehyung asked why I hesitated, I was startled and looked at him. No, how did he know whether I hesitated or not in that short time?
“I told you, your face is all over the place.”
Ah… Taehyung, who caught it in a short time, had a look on his face as if to say, “Isn’t that surprising?” I was surprised, but the person in question didn’t seem to think much of it.
“Oh, that’s… I think it’s a bit much to say we know each other just because we met on the rooftop—”
“No, not that.”
"uh?…"
The hand that was waving in the air suddenly stopped. Besides that?... If that's not the case, then it was at the dessert cafe a year ago... . No way?. Taehyung answered calmly as I stared at him with a hardened face for a moment. "I guess you remember now."
“We met a year ago, didn’t we? Shouldn’t we be acquaintances at this point?”
I thought you wouldn't remember,
No, I thought you wouldn't remember...
Taehyung clearly remembered what happened a year ago.