Call transaction steamed

A steamy letter to the people I loved

To. People I've Loved

I don't know if you'll see this, but I'm uploading it because I think you will someday.

I think you probably know that we suddenly made a big deal yesterday and blocked everyone who had a secret conversation, left all open chats, and deleted our profiles.

The reason is that we're tired of the fanfics and the relationships within them. We're so tired that we no longer have the strength to love you. We don't have the capacity to deal with you.

I know that continuing this fanfiction and relationship in this state will only make things harder for both of us, so I want to end it. But I'm criticizing myself now because I feel like just leaving the chatroom and blocking and deleting the profile was too much, but I think I would have done the same thing if I went back.

Even if I wrote it with sincerity, I can't guarantee it would only be kind words. You never know if he'll read it. Just think of it as me getting tired of the relationship. I feel so naive and reckless in accepting people, to the point where I regret it.

Of course, I don't want to deny all the happy memories I've had over the past few months with you. Back then, you truly were the masters of the world, and it wouldn't be out of place to call you the sum total of all the living, moving forces.

I poured my heart out passionately, trusted unwaveringly, and then suddenly crumbled and hated you to the point of bitterness. You were so good that I must have been lost in a sweet dream for a moment. I knew even the end would be beautiful.

As I said before, I poured my heart into it, and because of that, my boundaries crumbled and I withdrew. I felt it festering and bursting a long time ago, but I held it in, forcing myself to endure it. I didn't want to sever this relationship or situation just because I was hurting. I felt like if I just fixed myself, it would feel like it was the same as before. So I decided to take a break. Even my lifestyle was falling apart, and I wanted to reorganize.

But the news of his return, just a few days after our break, was even more painful. If we didn't cut ties, we'd be ruined, let alone break free. Our hearts aren't strong enough, so we felt like we'd explode into pieces. Honestly, we even thought you were going too far.

Even more, it happened not once, but in succession. We, standing somewhere in between, couldn't figure out what to do or how to act. The thought that we were no longer part of that relationship, that we'd already given up, dominated our minds, yet the relationship we continued to endure held us back.

We've come to hate this relationship. We've lost faith in what's causing us so much pain and suffering. So, I want to forget you all. From the happy memories to the bad.

Otherwise, I feel like I'll be completely overwhelmed and fall into a pit of despair. I apologize for being so cowardly. We apologize for only informing you that we are like this. Siren, Call, Whale, Deal, Phlegm, Madness, 09s—those titles seem more appropriate for better, kinder people than us.

Thanks to you, I learned a lot. Unfortunately, the ending isn't a positive word like love or happiness, nor a negative word like hate or loathing, but an ambiguous love-hate relationship somewhere in between, so I can't really put it into words. But because it's love-hate, I know it'll be even harder to forget you, and it'll still hurt for dozens of months.

This love and hate will be so painful that I can't even shed tears, so I hope you'll forgive us, even if only a little, for our naive encounter and our premature ending. If this seems like an excuse, then feel free to criticize us. I deserve it, so I'm willing to take some harsh advice. Thank you so much.

+ And I hope you'll forget us too. There's no benefit to remembering us like this. I'm asking this because you were people who meant so much to us. I want to be someone who never existed to each other.

from. Call transaction