Fox rain

1. Fox Rain

"Why did you cry again today?"
 
"I didn't cry."
 
"You cried earlier."
 
"Well, even if he didn't cry, this guy."
 
 
 
Cheongyeon sighed repeatedly and folded her arms. If you're going to act like this, you should at least cry so they don't see you.
 
 
 
"If you think about it, Yeonjun doesn't really seem like a good name. He just cries all the time. Even the fox living down there laughs at him."
 
 
 
Yeonjun, who had been ignoring Dongja's words, flinched at the last sentence.
 
 
 
"It should have been the Fed, not the Fed. A bright cloud that never turns into a dark cloud, but remains a bright cloud forever. Isn't that right?"
 
 
 
Yeonjun glanced at Dongja. After speaking, Dongja, perhaps realizing he'd just said something, lowered his eyes, observing his expression. A strange light lingered in Yeonjun's eyes. Regret, anger, love. A murky mixture of incompatible emotions. Dongja truly hated this look in Yeonjun's eyes. His eyes, so misplaced and pitiful that he couldn't even grumble anymore, were heartbreaking the more she looked at them.
 
 
 
"My clothes got wet because of you, Fed."
 
 
 
His voice, gradually fading, soon vanished completely. After a long silence, Yeonjun gently stroked Dongja's hair and spoke.
 
 
 
"It stopped just now. Look, it's already dried up."
 
 
 
Yeonjun lowered his head and looked down at the mountain range Dongja had mentioned. His face gradually distorted. The faint shape of a fox's tail, prowling a nearby graveyard, caught his eye. Unjun lowered his eyebrows and smiled bitterly. Thanks to this, Dongja couldn't complain about his soaking-drenched socks.
 
 
 
"Dongja, let me tell you an old story. It's a love story you like."
 
"Try it. Let's see what happens, okay?"
 
-
 
“When was it? It doesn't seem that long ago, but it was probably before I had the name Yeonjun.”

“Wasn’t it originally the Fed?”

“Be quiet, you punk.”
 
People were terrified of the mountain behind the village, not far from it. There were rumors that a nine-tailed fox lived there, luring young men and eating their livers. But at the time, I thought I'd rather have my liver eaten by a nine-tailed fox.
 
 
 
"You rotten bastard! Are you even eating right now?"
 
 
 
I was slowly gnawing on the little bit of flesh still attached to the fish head with my front teeth. It was the scraps of food the owner had thrown into the metal bowl in the yard earlier. It was also lunch for the mongrel dog the young master of this house had brought home. I quickly dipped my hand into the food, hoping to salvage even a bit before the dog devoured it all. The thick, lukewarm texture felt truly disgusting, as if it had been soaked in water. I scooped up the largest piece of scrap I could find, and it turned out to be a fish head. He had devoured it so thoroughly that all I could eat was the eyes and the skin. Calling this food food, I stumbled upon the young master, who was passing by, and got a good beating.
 
That night, I resolved to end my slavery. No matter how I died, it wouldn't be a good death, but I felt it was better than being beaten to death by a club. I figured it would be a decent meal for the beasts, so I headed for the back mountain. I was determined to find the gumiho.
 
Was the sound of my footsteps on dry leaves and twigs ever this loud? The mountain path, relying solely on moonlight, was incredibly arduous. Perhaps I should have sat down on the dirt to rest for a moment, when I met her. That fox lady. The fox lady? Yes. She was Dang-a.
 
 
 
"What is a person of such good character doing here? And at this hour, when everyone else is asleep?"
 
“Ah…. I heard there’s a nine-tailed fox….”
 
"A fox? Then you must be talking about me."
 
 
 
She was a very strange woman. I even thought she was a gumiho disguised as a human.
 
 
 
“Then, then eat my liver. You might as well just kill me quickly…!”
 
 
 
I squeezed my eyes shut and screamed. Still, I was grateful that my fate wasn't in the hands of my master. The gumiho, having feasted on my liver, wouldn't be coming down to the village for a while. It was a good thing for both the gumiho and the villagers, so I thought this was a good death. But what I got in return was unexpected.
 
 
 
"Hahaha! Why would I kill that guy? I'm not a gumiho, I'm Cheongyeon. That's what the mistress called me."
 
“Then, why is it a fox…?”
 
"People call me a foxy bastard, a nine-tailed fox."
 
 
 
She seemed to be in a similar situation to me. A fleeting sense of kinship filled me, and I resolved to survive alongside her. But Yeonjun. Wasn't there a reason she was called a fox? Back then, I was so foolishly unaware. If I had known, I wouldn't be crying like this.
 
Before I knew it, I'd become accustomed to living with her. I began to care for her, to worry about her, without even realizing it. It didn't take long for me to realize I was harboring feelings of longing for her. She was clearly someone who had been buried deep in my heart. So, I was like a cloud, a cloud that held onto the blue smoke, shielding her special flower from the desires of others.
 
Thanks to her, I had more days with smiles. As the days went by, my complexion brightened, and one day, Cheongyeon said this to me.
 
 
 
"Since it doesn't have a name, I'll give it one. How about a smile, since it always walks around smiling?"
 
"smile?"
 
"Haha, just kidding. Do you hate him that much? Well, what about Yeonjun? He's a really bright guy. But sometimes, he's so dark that you wonder if he's really the same person."
 
"Does this mean the ending will continue?"
 
"Isn't that good? Youngjun."
 
 
 
Good, Yeonjun. The ending will continue because of Cheongyeon. She's my light, so only when I'm with her will the clouds be bright. I had no doubt about that.
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
-
 
The next morning, as usual, I should have opened my eyes, frowning at the sunlight streaming through the leaves. It was a morning when, half-asleep, I should have been holding a sunshade over Cheongyeon's pale face to protect it from the sun. But something felt off.
 
The sky was particularly dark today. Dark clouds billowed, threatening to pour down rain. And beside me, a sansho plant lay limp, devoid of warmth.
 
There was no blue smoke.
 
Without even a moment to adjust my clothes, I raced down the mountain. The slope was steep, so I stumbled several times, but it didn't matter. My pace had picked up, and I was descending at a breakneck pace, but I didn't stop. I nearly tripped over rocks, and the sharp wind scratched my face, but I arrived in the village, panting.
 
But is this what I see before my eyes truly the Cheongyeon I know? Her black hair is neatly tied back and pinned up with a hairpin, and she wears a beautiful peony-embroidered hwarot (traditional Korean wedding attire) and a matching garland. She even wears a red hwaryongjeomjeong (traditional Korean wedding attire). And standing opposite her, with her back turned to me, is the groom.
 
Ah… I was just sitting there and got taken away by that tiger. Honestly, my head wasn’t working very well. Wasn’t Cheongyeon a slave? Well, it was a rather presumptuous name for a slave. I just assumed her master was a very warm person and let it go. But now that I look at it, even the way she spoke… it felt so awkward, like a bunch of random words I’d picked up here and there. Why did I still trust her so completely? Was it because I didn’t want to be betrayed by the flower I protected? I don’t know. I just felt so pathetic. Even though I gave her everything, she was all I had left. If it was love, it was love, if it was anger, it was anger. Either way, it was all directed at her. I guess it took a lot of brainpower to use such a vulgar tone.
 
I watched their wedding banquet from afar. My feet were still. When I looked closely, I saw that the master I had been serving was there too. He must have been trembling and holding his breath when I met Cheongyeon's eyes. It felt like a fox's tail was waving behind her.
 
The groom standing before her turned to greet the neighbors. Then a face appeared. Oh my… The tiger was our young master. I felt empty. I would rather have turned into a gray cloud and thrown a tantrum, blocking the sunlight from reaching them forever. And just then, rain fell. The sad raindrops falling from the dark clouds I saw this morning. My tears must be falling from the sky. Dang-ah, I am tearing off your beautiful bride's hanbok. Can you see it? Can you see my resentment?
 
 
 
 
 

-
 
"That's why you cry all the time. Stop crying now."
 
"Dongja. Today…."
 
 
 
It's the day the tiger gets married, the day the fox gets married. It's the day I must cry. The day I must weep and blot out the sun. That's the day.








-
“Long time no see.”

There was nothing. Even the emptiness eventually faded away, and the empty, unheard voice of the governor reached nowhere. Yeonjun, with hands huddled in the cold, brushed the tattered Cheongyeon. In this messy place, with no room to straighten his back or stretch his legs, Cheongyeon was here.
Foolish, foolish… … .
Yeonjun continued mumbling, not knowing who he was addressing. He brushed away the musty, damp dust from the last remaining surface of Cheongyeon's letter. Cheongyeon's letter, folded twice, was cold, almost frigid. He doubted if even a brief trace of Cheongyeon's warmth had truly passed through it. That's why he felt sad. The tear stains here and there on the letter were clearly traces of Cheongyeon, but now that he could no longer find Cheongyeon even in those traces, and he hated himself for foolishly clinging to her.

Yeonjun buried his face in the letter. This musty smell wasn't you, he rationalized... The paper had lost its scent. Only when the last of the tears its owner had shed had vanished did the paper finally let go of its owner. You were no longer in this world. Even the mere blank sheet of paper had forgotten you. Isn't it my turn now, Yeonjun thought? He knew it well in his head, yet...

Resentment.
The dark swamp that had swallowed Yeonjun upright left him wandering aimlessly. It must have been his own emotions, but at some point, this swamp, always turning the tables on the subject, completely consumed him. After days spent blaming himself, Yeonjun longed to cherish Cheongyeon, even if it meant sinking deep into this shadow. If this was the pain Cheongyeon had inflicted, he longed to be embraced by it, even if it meant being consumed by it. It was nothing but a dizzying, swaying moment. A hazy mirror appeared at its edge. What was eventually reflected was nothing but darkness, his own reflection. The reason Yeonjun longed for and longed for Cheongyeon was because of Yeonjun. Facing a radiant light like Cheongyeon, Yeonjun risked losing himself, obscured by it. It was a selfish desire. He didn't wish for Cheongyeon's destruction or sacrifice. He simply stayed by her side for Yeonjun's own greed, and that love ultimately shattered. Someone originally said that Cheongyeon was not always the Fed's fault, but even so, the Fed cannot say with certainty that Cheongyeon's collapse was not his fault.
“You are light, and I am darkness… so we could never coexist.”



*



"You know. If light obscures darkness, and darkness obscures light, then aren't the two only complete when they exist together?"


No. Maybe to the darkness, but not to the light. Because you were perfect without me… … .


"You'll say no again. But even if it's not perfect, it's not. Just as the saying goes, where there's light, there's also shadow. They're like twins, where one exists, there must be the other. Like a community of shared destiny. Just like you and me. Right?"


…….


『But, if you block the light, a shadow will appear, but what will happen if you block the light?

If it's covered by light... well... I don't know what's inside, but it'll be covered in light. If the place where light doesn't reach is darkness, then I don't think it'll become dark anymore when covered by light.

Because darkness covered by light is no longer darkness.

I hope you don't blame yourself too much.