By your side
“Ayeon…”
It was the voice of my brother, whom I longed for. Everyone said he left me, but he never did. If he had, how could he call my name with such warmth? "Brother... you know. Everyone said you left me. But that wasn't true... right?"
Despite Ayeon's question, the man who called himself Oppa just looked at her with an unreadable expression on his face.
🖤
Ayeon woke up in a dark, unlit room. The sight of her waking up in a room too large for her to live alone was utterly lonely. Ten years had already passed since she became a celebrity, determined to find someone. Naturally, during those ten years, she hadn't found anyone called her oppa. Seeing her like that, those around her told her to just give up and enjoy her life, but there were still so many things she hadn't asked. Why on earth did she leave? Why didn't she show up before? It had been ten years since she'd begun to wonder if there had been a reason for her to not show up. The room was filled with silence, and the only sound was the sound of the air conditioner.
🖤
It was a long-awaited vacation, a long time coming, after being busy with comebacks, concerts, fan meetings, and drama filming. I woke up at 4 a.m. as usual. I drew the curtains, leaned against the veranda, and gazed at the moon. The moon, dazzled by the dawning emotions, felt incredibly lonely. It shone brightly, but somehow, it seemed as if it were crying.
"What on earth am I thinking.."
After closing the door and drawing the curtains, Ayeon lay back down on the bed. The room, devoid of any lights, was dark and lonely. She covered her eyes with her arm and closed them.
When Ayeon woke up, it was already 2 p.m., not knowing when she'd fallen asleep. She couldn't even remember the last time she'd slept like this. Her stomach growled, as if hungry, but Ayeon lay motionless in bed, seemingly unwilling to wake up. She put the AirPods in her ears, which were on the shelf next to her bed, and covered her eyes with her arms again.
The AirPods were out of her ears, and Ayeon opened her eyes to the sound of the air conditioner. She checked the time, it was 7 PM. Ayeon's stomach churned as she tried to close her eyes again. It was understandable, as Ayeon hadn't eaten a single meal today. In a hurry, she put on her mask and hat and headed out. The outside world was a paradise for couples. Couples, clinging tightly to each other as if they were going to die if they fell, were walking down the street, laughing and laughing. 'I've been like that too. I held back my tears and set off. I thought I'd have some tteokbokki for the first time in a while, so I bought some street tteokbokki and was on my way home when a man who looked like my brother was standing across the crosswalk. 'Oppa...' Ayeon was just crossing the crosswalk when a horn honked several times next to her, and by the time she looked to the side to avoid it, it was already too late. A man pushed Ayeon, who was standing there with her eyes tightly shut. The fish cake soup she'd bought with the tteokbokki spilled, and the man yelled at her, asking what she was doing dangerously, but Ayeon didn't care. The truck driver got out of the truck and asked Ayeon if she was okay, but even that didn't reach her. She was just looking for the missing man, wondering where he had gone. "Where did he go... Where on earth did he go?" Ayeon staggered to her feet and started to look for her brother.
🖤
Of course, she couldn't find her brother. She ran for a long time, wondering where he had disappeared to, but she couldn't find him. As she trudged along, she noticed her legs were starting to ache. Her white canvas sneakers were slowly soaking wet with blood. Unable to buy anything, Ayeon bought a loaf of bread from a nearby store and returned home. She stuffed the bread haphazardly into her stomach, roughly bandaged her leg, and lay down in bed. It was a darker and lonelier night than she'd ever experienced.