Legal Politics [Chanbaek/Saejun/BL]

15.

박찬열

.........

Rain poured down on my head.

The black umbrella slapped back the raindrops, but it felt like they were pouring down on my head.

He squeaked his sneakers against the floor, the sand and pebbles scraping against the red stone floor.

I raised my head once, then looked at the ground again.

It rained.

He ran into the window, buried his whole body in it, and then slid down.

Empty eyes. Lifeless skin. Overthinking.

The quiet, rainy night made me want to die.

There's also a black umbrella that's been wandering around for hours.

Even 18 years of life that don't go as planned.

I was annoyed. I was annoyed. I was sick and tired of it.

It was a hassle.

Yes, this feeling was a burden.

A heavy burden of guilt weighed heavily on my shoulders, a burden of responsibility and duty.

What is that black umbrella thinking as it stands there?

Wouldn't it be disappointing if the person you're waiting for doesn't show up?

Waiting for someone who won't come out on a cold day, even though you might catch a cold.

I hated my foolishness for standing there knowing that person wouldn't come out.

But I didn't know how to take care of myself and I hated just being there.

That's what happened until I died.

The window is closed.

The curtains are also drawn.

The lights are on too.

I stood there for hours, trying to add to the child's heavy guilt. I raised my head when I heard footsteps, and lowered it when I didn't.

That took five hours.

I wonder if he's tired of the rain that falls all night.

No. It wasn't me, it was her. Everything was heavy and difficult, a series of trials, tribulations, and hardships.

I knew that kid would be sick.

I did it because I wanted that kid to get sick.

I was even more worried that the child would take some medicine.

That's exactly what happened.

I leaned against the windowsill and peeked at him through the curtains.

I wasn't going to go out and I had no intention of going out.

I was sure.

I'm sure that kid will come back.

I am confident that I will win this fight again.

I'm pretty sure I won't be walking out of here.

I was always confident and I was never wrong.

Because I was confident that I could do it.

Bam, the umbrella fell.

The kid doesn't even look back.

A black umbrella lies upside down on the floor.

The kid is leaving.

Even if I leave footprints for a moment, they are quickly washed away by the rain.

It seemed like there wasn't even any regret.

I won. I won in the end.

So I fell off the windowsill, sat down on the bed, then got down and opened the drawer.

That was all.

I said my convictions were never wrong.