Lumière dans mon obscurité
Chapitre 10
Your POV
When I'm angry or upset, everyone who knows me will prefer to give me space rather than to talk to me. Even my best friends and family.
Your POV
After cooling off, then they'll ask how I'm doing, and after that, we'll act like nothing has happened...
Your POV
But to be honest, it wasn't good for my mental health. Sulking alone and fixing my own struggles was hard.
Your POV
I want someone there for me who is not afraid of what I might say or still stay even if I'm not talking when they try to ask me something.
Your POV
They tried to help me, but they don't stay until I feel better. They'll talk to me for awhile, then give me space if I don't wanna talk.
Your POV
Or whenever I talk, they'll say "It seems like you need some time on your own. I'll give you space. Let me know when you're okay."
Your POV
Then they leave, even though I didn't say that they should, but I don't wanna force someone to stay with me if they want to leave me alone.
Your POV
As usual, I wait for Seungmin in the parking area. Sometimes he takes too long, but I don't mind because I read while waiting.
Your POV
I rest my back in the car and grabbed the book I'm currently reading, then ignored my surroundings.
Your POV
After a few minutes, I went back to reality when somebody tapped my shoulder.
Your POV
I sighed when I saw it was Ryujin. At least it's not Bang Chan or Han.
Ryujin
Hey, I never saw you after lunch. You're too fast when you walk!
Soohee
Sorry. I really wanted to get away.
Ryujin
Are you okay now? Lia said we should give you some space, but I don't want to ask you on the phone so I searched for you here.
Ryujin
I know you want to be alone when you're sad or angry, so I understand.
Your POV
When did I say that? They really have no idea. So I just nodded.
Your POV
She hugged me and rubbed my back a little, and I hugged her back.
Ryujin
I know you'll be okay. I'll just leave you be, and I just wanted you to know that I'm here.
Your POV
But you'll leave...
Soohee
Thank you Ryujin.
Ryujin
I'll go now. Bye Soohee~ I'll call you later?
Soohee
Okay. Bye.
Your POV
Sometimes... I hate myself for letting them leave, but because of my pride. I don't. I feel weak when I beg a person to stay.
Your POV
I went back to reading then I heard heavy footsteps approaching. I hope it's Seungmin.
Your POV
I turned around, expecting it was my brother, but it was Han. I didn't expect that.
Your POV
He wasn't wearing that smile he usually shows. All I see is a worried look, and it looks like he doesn't know what to say.
Soohee
What are you doing here?
Han Jisung
Look... I'm sorry Soohee. Sometimes I didn't even know what will come out of my mouth sometimes.
Soohee
You mean everytime?
Han Jisung
Okay... Maybe everytime. I talked to Lia where might you be, and she said I should give you space...
Soohee
And? You didn't listen?
Han Jisung
I wanted to make sure you're okay. I know you're mad at me... Are you?
Soohee
I was, during lunch. But now I'm trying not to think about it.
Han Jisung
Can I make it up to you? I promise it will be worth it.
Soohee
Look, Han, I don't get why are you being like this towards me when I clearly don't want you to talk to me?
Your POV
I noticed that he cringed when I told him that. Maybe I'm taking this too far.
Soohee
I'm not used to having guy friends you know? People might take the wrong impression, like when you helped me hide and walk to class. See?
Han Jisung
Oh! I completely understand don't worry. I'm sorry, but please? Even just this one time.
Your POV
His look was sincere, even his words. He really wants to fix this. I'm speechless, but I don't want to keep him waiting.
Soohee
Okay. I'll give you one chance.
Han Jisung
Yes thank you! And if I screw it up, I'll leave you alone starting tomorrow if you want me to.
Your POV
I felt that he didn't mean that.
Soohee
I'll just wait for Seungmin so he knows that I'm with you.
Seungmin
Oh don't worry you can go now sis. I'll tell mom and dad that you got a date! Hey Han!
Han Jisung
Oh hello hyung!
Author
(I know that Seungmin and Han have the same age, but let's just pretend that Seungmin is a little older in this story. Hehe)
Soohee
Since when did you get here stupid? Are you eavesdropping just now? And no this is not a date.
Seungmin
Yeah you could say that, and since you called me stupid, I'll tell mom that you're dating again!
Han Jisung
Again?
Soohee
Okay leave now Seungmin before you talk some more.
Seungmin
Oh you didn't know Han? I'll tell you about--
Soohee
LEAVE NOW!!
Seungmin
Whoa okay! You're like mom when you're mad, I can't believe that made me scared.
Soohee
Let's go now Han, before I change my mind.
Han Jisung
Oh okay. My car's this way.
Seungmin
Have fun you two!
Han Jisung
Thanks!
Your POV
I gave Seungmin an "I'll-kill-you-when-I-get-home" look then followed Han.
Your POV
Han opened the car door for me then I went inside. I looked at him and he was smiling like he got a perfect score in a test.
Your POV
He got inside as well then started the car.
Soohee
You look like you got a perfect score or something.
Han Jisung
Oh! Sorry. I just can't believe this is happening. I even prepared myself in case you really didn't want to go with me you know.
Soohee
So you prepared in case I reject you.
Han Jisung
I guess you can say that. Here let me help you with your seatbelt.
Soohee
Oh I got--
Your POV
He took the seatbelt before I could finish my sentence. He's being like a gentleman too much.
Your POV
His cheek was so close to my face, and I didn't move so nothing awkward will happen. He smells good though...
Your POV
Wait, why am I inhaling his scent?!
Han Jisung
There you go. Let's go!
Soohee
*clears throat* Where are you taking me?
Han Jisung
It's a secret. It'll be worth it I promise.
Soohee
Okay. You should take me home by 7 okay?
Han Jisung
I promise. Thanks again Soohee.
Your POV
He gave me a warm smile that has a "thank you" written all over it.
Soohee
You're welcome.
Your POV
I can't believe I'm with Han right now. I can't believe that I'm doing this. What's happening to me when he's around?