Dooroooooo_
Dooroooooo_
The phone rings about twice
The female protagonist answered the phone.
"hello!!!"
The female protagonist answers the phone in a high-pitched tone
Then Taehyung also seemed happy and spoke in a low, low voice.
Talk to him nonstop
School is like that, but what about the teacher?
They were childhood friends
It had been a while since we had seen each other since the female lead moved, so I called
We were so happy to see each other
"Ah, that's right, Taehyung!"
"Yeah why???"
"Does your school also have a Korean poetry writing assignment?"
"There isn't any?? Why?"
"No, our teacher told us to write it!"
The female protagonist was whining and throwing tantrums.
"So, what I'm saying is, evaluate my poetry!"
"If you say I'm weird, I'll curse you."
"Ah, it's time to change friends. Why do you know me so well....P..."
"Phew - this is the power of a friend of 17 years, Chasha."
"Child, don't you dare listen....bleed...
The female protagonist made a sound like she was being squealed.
Taehyung laughed out loud as if he thought it was cute.
He told me to talk to the female protagonist and soothe her like I was soothing a baby.
"....Don't tease me by saying it's weird....."
"I'm not kidding"
"Don't even laugh at this..."
"Don't laugh"
"Are you...talking?"
"Try it"
Cloud, cloud
Don't let my feelings show through the rain
Birds, birds
Don't burden others with my pain.
Oh world, oh world
Don't drive me to death
What if even you abandon me?
Even if you abandon me,
Just don't try to abandon me
Moon, moon
Now save me from this pain.
"........"
"Uh....how is it....?"
"Hey lady"
"Yeah, why?"
"How would you feel if I disappeared?"
"You say things like this a lot. Of course you're sad, you idiot."
"If I'm going to die, I want to die somewhere pretty.... while looking at the stars in the grass..."
"Hey, what are you talking about... Hey Kim Taehyung!!!! Where are you waiting?? Why aren't you talking?.... Why are you acting so scary... Stop it.."
"If I die in a pretty place, will I die pretty...?"
"Sorry, take care"
And then I heard nothing
Except for the screams
Oh my heavens, oh my heavens
Come, when I go, you will welcome me.
Now I will come to your side
I'm saying this one thing
I never gave up on life.
I gave up on myself
Don't be ashamed of me
I want to fall like a star tonight
Taehyung's last phone call
That phone became a phone that Taehyung couldn't turn off.
beep-
Kim Taehyung is dead
He was talking to me as if nothing happened.
"My lady..."
Taehyung's mother looked at Yeoju as if she were half dead and called out to her with longing.
"Yes...ma'am..."
If it were normal, we would have asked each other how we were doing
But no one would be foolish enough to ask how I am doing in my current state.
"Shall we...go out and talk?"
"yes..."
Yeoju and Taehyung's mother left the hospital, which reeked of alcohol, and headed to a cafe.
But even when I came to the cafe, the atmosphere was not very good. There was nothing different except the smell of coffee beans rather than alcohol.
"Yeah...the female protagonist...said that Taehyung called her for the last time before he died...?"
"yes...."
"Yeah....it must have been really hard....while I was on the phone..."
Taehyung's mother lowered her head as if holding back tears, but the tears were flowing without her even noticing.
"T...didn't you hear anything from Taehyung...?"
"yes..."
It was so strange that he spoke so casually less than 10 minutes before he died...
"Yeah.... Lady.... Go home.... It must have been hard..."
Taehyung's mother spoke while touching Yeoju's hand.
As if touching Taehyung's hand...warmly...
Ddallang_
The heroine walked out of the coffee shop with a look of abandonment on her face.
The female protagonist who returned home
I sat in the middle of the room and chanted
"Is spring coming now... The days are getting longer... This is when Taehyung liked it the most... He said he liked the smell of spring... Let's go see the cherry blossoms... He probably threw a tantrum like a kid... Phew- Back then, I really didn't want to go... Asking why I was acting like a little girl... Back then..."
The heroine's eyes were gradually turning red
Then he looked out the window and continued talking to someone I don't know.
Maybe that's something you want to tell Taehyung.
"It was obvious back then, but I didn't know when it happened, and no, I didn't want to know.... Because we thought we knew everything... But... I didn't know anything even 10 minutes before you died, I was just having fun.... Only me.... You... You... Thinking about the moment you would fall, how hard it must have been.... And yet we were smiling and talking about school.... Everyone was there.... But you weren't there..... Rather.... If I were next to you, you'd get angry.... Do you know what the most fucked up thing is in a really fucked up situation? This situation is so fucking annoying, but I can't do anything lol...."
The female protagonist wiped away her tears after finishing her speech.
The tears just kept flowing without stopping.
Every day passed like hell
What is the test?
My friend died
What is rice?
My childhood friend died
What is life
I wonder if this is life or if I lived it doesn't feel like living.
I can't do anything without you.
Why was it like that? Why was it nothing?
If it's hard, say it's hard
When you're sick, you get irritated and angry
I can listen to everything
If you had shown any signs of it, I would have run over to you and hugged you right away, and told you to get through it together.
One day I got angry at you for leaving without saying anything.
One day, I got angry at myself for not noticing that little emotion.
I wanted to go to you too
I tried self-harm
Who would do something like this....of course.....
But after relying on it for 17 years
J..the guy I liked died.....
How can I be okay?
He was almost my boyfriend
sad
I want to go with you
I want to go up to the sky
You're not here, I'm not here either
I wanted you that much
you also....
You didn't care either
suddenly
I was fine until 10 minutes before I died...
Ding dong
Then someone rang the bell.
I don't know why, but
I wish it were you
Even though I know it's not you
Even though I know you're not there
I just wish it was you
I hope you are behind this door
Oh, no, you're dead
Why am I still drawing you?
I already know the reality
I still feel like I'm in a dream
I feel like I'm not awake even after waking up
I never thought I'd feel this way
I thought this only happened in dramas
But it was just a moment
You were already so far away that I couldn't catch you.
No, you're too far away to catch
however
A letter came to you like a miracle
"Uh....what is this...."
"Probably.... I think Taehyung wrote it to you.... It was a bit hard to read... so I ran straight to you."
One day, Taehyung's mom came and gave me a letter. She said it was in her desk drawer.
This makes it more certain
Taehyung has been determined to "die" since long ago.
There is no letter from heaven
But that doesn't mean it's not Taehyung's letter. Taehyung's mom brought it and the letter paper is in Taehyung's letter box.
I opened the letter, leaving behind my anxious and trembling heart.
And the first sentence in a familiar font
The first sentence was meaningless.
If you listen to it normally, it's just like that....what should I say....
But now tears are flowing
'Is it spring there?'
Taehyung had even set a date for his death.
I guess he was trying to die before spring came.
Because Taehyung likes spring
To die before that
What's it like there without me?
I feel like I'm going to die.... this place without you....
'Is the world still dirty...?'
Ah, this sentence made it clear
Taehyung has never felt good about this world
He just smiled at me and said it was okay, wearing a mask.
That smile was fake
'I'm sorry, I had to leave first... but...'
'I'm in a world like that
I don't want to spend the day wearing a mask'
Taehyung died 10 minutes ago
No, it's been like that since before
I've never been happy
What I saw was
his
It was just a contradiction
And I wrote the letter to Taehyung again with tears streaming down my face.
Taehyung
Everyone lives wearing a mask
to be honest
In good conscience
At least once, "laughter"
I have to wear a mask
Of course me too
Whatever the reason is.
then
No one is mine
pain
wound
sorrow
Everything is covered
You only see my "contradictory" appearance
however
pain
wound
sorrow
The reason for hiding it
Because I don't want to be sad and hurt anymore
however
why
By wearing something called a mask
Have you hurt yourself or others more?
Our sadness and pain are not "bad emotions"
It's just an emotion needed to live.
I know you can't hear me
I know it doesn't exist anymore
but,
perhaps
That one feeling that you might be watching from the sky
Taehyung, you know
You said you like spring
I like cherry blossoms
Because you are so obsessed with cherry blossoms
I looked up the meaning of cherry blossoms a while ago.
Purity, peerless beauty, simple-minded love, integrity
Everything was good
So I just passed it by without thinking much about it.
But did you look for it again this time?
however
Cherry blossoms have a negative flower language.
"lie"
That's what you were telling me
You have 10 minutes left to die
to me
I was lying
This spring
I can't laugh
The wide blue sea
dyed red with blood
In the vast sky
Tears of blood are shed
On the lawn
Blood is splattered
People shed blood
I'm lying down
Tears should flow from your eyes
Because this is the real world
Uselessly pretty
Sometimes pretending to be pretty
Because
I'm scared of dying
Just show me the truth
Oh my world.
That way, I can shake off all my foolishness and leave.
end.