I want to burn blue and die
I'm the only one still in the same place. I ran without even looking back, so why am I standing still? Why am I the only one treading water?
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"Hoseok, why do you like dancing?"
"Well, I just like it. So much so that I get lost in dancing and don't even want to think about anything else."
I like seeing you dance the best.
I like having you as my dance partner.
"Haha, what are you talking about? Just focus on practice!"
"Yeah, haha"
The sound of singing echoes from the small practice room. We move our bodies to the music.
" great job. "
Phew... I'm so tired I could die.
Shall we go eat?
*Grin*
"Tteokbokki, anyone?!"
Call lol
Every day after school, as we surrender ourselves to the music, we are happy today as well.
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I stared blankly up at the sky. It feels like the blue sky is embracing everything. I like blue. I don't know why. It just seems like the blue sky, which remains the same no matter the seasons, brings me comfort.
"Hoseok, look at that!! A rainbow!"
The female lead pointed to the sky, and a very pretty rainbow was in the sky.
" pretty. "
"If a rainbow were a bridge I could walk on, I would definitely want to walk across that bridge."
"Rainbow bridge lol? Are you going to die lol?"
"Hey!! That's not it!!"
"Just kidding, just kidding lol"
Anyway~
I didn't know. That today would be the last time I would see the female lead smiling brightly under the rainbow,
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That day, as usual, I was on my way home with Yeoju after finishing practice. We were exhausted as we headed home, and we were spacing out at a traffic light.
"Why am I so tired today..."
Thump -
Someone pushed Hoseok from behind. Hoseok lost his balance and leaned forward, while a car was speeding towards him from the side.
The moment I shout "No" inside my head,
"Jeong Hoseok!"
Yeoju grabbed Hoseok's wrist and pulled him. However, Hoseok was much larger, and as she pulled him toward the sidewalk, Yeoju was thrown backward and fell onto the road.
Thud -
Ugh...
Honk honk - !!
The car sped towards us, and the people shouted.
"Yeoju!!!"
Hoseok reached out his hand toward Yeoju, but
Bang!
That hand could not reach the female lead.
Aaaargh!!
The surroundings grew noisy as screams were heard. Hoseok trembled, his face showing a look as if his soul had left his body.
"No... it's not..."
I denied everything. I wanted to forget that Yeoju had been hit by a car right before my eyes. I don't know how I managed to get up, but I slowly approached where Yeoju was.
I approached with a tiny glimmer of hope that perhaps the one hit by the car wasn't the female lead... but
"Ah...ah..."
All I could see before my eyes was the female protagonist's pure white skin and the road turning red.
Even though I was seeing it right in front of my eyes, I didn't want to believe it. Not even tears came out. I wished all of this were a dream.
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When Hoseok opened his eyes after fainting, he saw a pure white ceiling. Then, as he slowly turned his head, he saw the IV drip dripping down.
"The female lead... the female lead..."
Hoseok called out to Yeoju with a hoarse voice. He struggled to get up and staggered out of the hospital room.
"Huh?! Patient! Where are you going...!!"
"Yeoju... Where is Yeoju...?"
"Ah... Ms. Kim Yeo-ju...?"
"The female lead... where is the female lead in the hospital room...!!"
I'm sorry, but he isn't in the hospital room...
" then... "
They say he passed away from excessive bleeding...
Pause
"What did you just say...?"
I'm sorry. This is all I have to say...
Hoseok slumped down right there. Then, clutching his head in agony, he told himself that it couldn't be true.
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After being discharged from the hospital, Hoseok headed to the columbarium. His heart ached as he looked at the photos containing Yeoju smiling beautifully and dancing while sweating.
I also saw the certificate and medal I received for winning the dance competition with Yeoju. There was also the keychain I had given Yeoju as a gift.
"I'm right here... Why did you go so far... So far that I can't even reach you now..."
I resented myself. If Yeoju hadn't saved me back then, she would have lived. She didn't need to suffer an unjust death because of me.
It's all my fault...
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Seven years have passed. I am still dancing. Honestly, I kept thinking about Yeoju, so I was going to quit dancing.
But I couldn't quit. I thought of the female lead who liked watching me dance... and I felt like I couldn't stop dancing too...
Even after a long time has passed, I miss Yeoju. I felt pathetic dancing while missing her. It was just that she wasn't by my side; I was still treading water, no different from seven years ago.
I used to feel confident, believing that looking at the blue sky always held hope. But now, I hated the blue sky. Because there was no hope for me.
It was cloudy because of the rain just a moment ago...
While walking quietly down the street with an umbrella in hand,
"Huh? Look over there!! It's a rainbow!"
flinch
I stopped walking and looked up at the sky. I don't know how long it has been since I last saw a rainbow.
"Yeoju..."
I recalled the image of Yeoju smiling beautifully under the rainbow. Yeoju, who said she wanted to walk across the rainbow bridge... Who would have known that you would actually cross that bridge?
You could have crossed that bridge slowly...
I am so exhausted, trudging through each day.
"Right now, I just want to burn to death, turning blue. Just... Haa..."
To be burned to death by the blue that was regarded as hope
Because it means I really don't regard blue as hope anymore...
____
I'm just dropping this crappy post and leaving...