How to forget you
When I entered the funeral home, I saw you smiling brightly in the middle, but everyone around you was crying. And tears fell from my eyes too. I cried so much that I couldn't cry anymore, but tears came again. It's been a few days since you left me, and I still can't get over it. It's just... It all feels like a dream. But when I see people crying, I think this must be real. A reality I absolutely don't want to believe. Is there a reality more cruel than this? I think I'm going crazy right now.
"Jungkook... why aren't you coming back? You said you'd come back... why aren't you coming? I waited... I even bought you your favorite hotteok to give to me... why aren't you coming..."
"Jungkook...Jungkook...please...come back..."
I thought we were just getting started. It ended too soon. So I saved it for later, but it was too late. I love you. I love you, Jeon Jungkook.
There was so much I wanted to do for you, but I can't do it anymore. It's a shame. If I had known it would end this quickly, I would have done better.
I lived my days thinking about the happy times we had together. Now, when I think about my future without you, it feels so daunting.
Don't leave my side. Come back and hold me tight so I don't have to think about anything else.
When I can see you again, when my eyes can shine on you again, just hold me. So that I can't lose you again. So that I can feel you again.
Tears flowed continuously and my mind became increasingly hazy.
• • •
The bottles of alcohol are piling up, and I am drinking alcohol with my eyes unfocused.
I think of your face, which cannot be erased no matter how hard I try.
Can I live without forgetting you?
I miss you.
"I miss you so much I'm going crazy..."
There was no way to forget you in the first place. I just had to endure it and live on.
What should I do? I miss you so much.
I hate you, but I love you so much that I can't help it.
I just don't want to think about anything. I just want to see your face, your face smiling brightly at me.
• • •
I picked up three bottles of soju at the convenience store, headed to the cash register, paid without saying a word, and left. I staggered back home. When I got home again, I dreamed of a miracle where you were there.
You always came to pick me up and walked with me down that alley with that one strange streetlight that blinked and never broke, saying it was dangerous, but now I guess I have to get used to walking alone all the time.
Then someone from behind covered my mouth with a handkerchief, and I lost all strength in my body and fell down.
When I woke up, my hands and feet were already tied up. It was so dark that I couldn't see well, and it was so quiet that I could even hear breathing.
Then, before I could even grasp the situation, someone came in. As soon as someone entered, the warehouse brightened. I frowned at the sudden light.
A man who looked to be around Jungkook's age and several other men came in.
"Who...are you?"
"I finally found Jeon Jungkook's only weakness" Kim Taehyung
My eyebrows furrowed again at the man's words, whose meaning I couldn't understand.
"That's...what..."
"Where's Jeon Jungkook?" Kim Taehyung
"Why are you looking for Jeongguk?"
Who the hell is this guy that he's looking for the already dead Jeongguk?
"If you don't want to die, you'd better answer first." Kim Taehyung
"..Jungkook...is dead."
"Oh, what? You still haven't told your girlfriend that you're still alive?" Kim Taehyung
Jungkook is alive..? Jungkook is clearly dead.
"What does that mean?"
"It's a shame not to know where Jeon Jungkook is, but well, it's not bad as long as he's alive, since he's his only weakness." Kim Taehyung
"I don't know what you're talking about, so speak straight, you crazy bastard."
"Your mouth is harsh, unlike your face? Haha" Kim Taehyung
"Stop talking nonsense and talk quickly."
"Yeah, but there's a limit to how pretty you can be. You have to speak nicely, pretty girl." Kim Taehyung
"..."
"Jeon Jungkook is alive and well, but I didn't know he lied to his girlfriend" Kim Taehyung
It's confusing. It makes no sense. The death report is over and the funeral is over... but Jungkook, who I thought was dead, is alive?
"He was clearly involved in a traffic accident and was taken to the hospital, but they said he died..."
"Yeah, I thought so too, but I guess not. I don't know what happened, but he's alive." Kim Taehyung
"If Jungkook is alive, why are you looking for him?"
"I owe that kid something." Kim Taehyung
"what..?"
"That's a secret," Kim Taehyung said.
"It's going to be fun now." Kim Taehyung
"I found out something." Kim Taehyung
I have nothing to sayㅠㅠ I have a lot of material to write about, but I don't know how to continue with my current workㅠㅠ But I'll be back soon!
The quality of the picture is not goodㅠㅠ