Poison; Connected with Fear
I can end it because I know that nothing lasts forever
Seventeen_Fearless
"Hyung, hyung... Seungcheol hyung..."
After Seungcheol's death, Jihoon, distraught, remained at his funeral, unmoving despite the persuasion of those around him. Soonyoung, Seokmin, and Chan were deeply worried, and Seokmin, in particular, was restless, unable to give Jihoon the letter Seungcheol had given him.
"Brother...come to your senses, okay..?"
"Lee Ji-hoon, Seung-cheol will really like it when he sees you like this, okay? Please eat something... You're just drinking water..."
"......"
Those who had initially criticized him were now practically begging him to eat something and get some sleep.
Ji-hoon, who had been in that state for several days, finally collapsed again after Seung-cheol's cremation was completed and he was placed in the columbarium.
Ji-hoon's point of view
"Hoon, wake up. Wooji."
Woozi, Seungcheol hyung's nickname for our Jihoon, saying he was cute. How could I have forgotten it? As soon as I heard "Woozi," I came to my senses.
My brother, whom I love,
"..Seungcheol hyung...?"
As soon as I opened my eyes, I blinked at the bright light and after a bit of adjusting, I saw his face.
"Brother, really, it's you, brother..."
"Jihoon, I'm sorry, I have to go soon..."
"Where, where are you going again..."
I didn't want to lose sight of my brother right in front of me again, so I tried to grab him, but every time I tried to grab him, he disappeared like a mirage.
When I realized that, I knew it was a dream and tears started to flow.
"This is a dream..."
"Yeah..it's a dream.."
When my brother confirmed the kill, I burst into uncontrollable tears. I don't want to disappear again like this.
"Even if it's just a dream...hyung...can't you stay by my side..? Hyung, Hyung...please.."
When I cried and pleaded, my brother hugged me warmly.
Just now, when I touched it, it disappeared like a mirage.
I don't mind that. As long as he stays by my side,
"Hoon-ah... I don't have much time anymore..."
"No, bro, please don't go..."
"Ask Seokmin or Sunyoung if I gave them anything. That's what I came here to say."
I was so annoyed by my brother's fading appearance that I wanted to capture it in my eyes even a little longer... I held his hand and wouldn't let go. I thought that if I did, I'd be a little late.
"..Goodbye, Jihoon. Let's meet again in good health."
But, it was no use.
I cried for a long time at the spot where my brother had disappeared, then finally came to my senses. Suddenly, I remembered his last words.
"Soon... Young and Seokmin... where are they...?"
As soon as I said those words, the scene shifted. All I knew was that I was lying in bed, the lights were brightly on, and... a hospital...?
Perhaps because I cried so much, my head started to hurt, so I raised my right hand to touch it. I saw an annoying, transparent line. Connected to it was sap. And as I looked around, I saw...
"Hyung..! Are you awake? I'll call Seokmin and Sunyoung..."
My younger brother, our youngest, Chani, running out in a hurry...
"Lee Ji-hoon..!!"
"Brother... do you know how many days I was down?"
"He didn't know that, anyway, you were lying down for four days."
"4 days..?"
In my dream, it felt like less than an hour had passed, but four days had passed? Wait, a dream...? It was definitely a dream...
'Ask Seokmin or Sunyoung if I gave them anything.'
I started searching their bodies in a hurry.
"Hey, hey, what's going on..!"
"Hyung, let's find out what it is and get some help.. okay..?"
"Dream... It was in my dream... Seungcheol hyung gave you something..."
"uh..?"
"Quick...who has it..? Give it to me quickly..please.."
As I sobbed, they remained silent for a moment, then exchanged glances. Seokmin left, saying he had something to bring. Meanwhile, a doctor came in to check my condition, but I paid no attention. My mind was completely focused on something Seungcheol had left behind...
Seokmin came back in after the doctor left, handed me something in an envelope, and led me all out. I accepted it with trembling hands and quickly tore open the envelope. What came out was...
"letter.."
As soon as I saw the sender, tears welled up in my eyes and I read each letter with a trembling voice, unaware that my hands holding the letter were shaking like crazy.
Among them, the last sentence that caught my eye the most,
Nothing lasts forever, and I just came to my end a little early. So, Hoon, don't be too sad.
love you_
Even when my brother was dying, he only thought about my feelings.
I quickly looked for Seokmin, who had left earlier.
"Seokmin...! Min... Can I be discharged from the hospital...? Or at least go out..."
"Suddenly..? You won't be discharged yet..?"
"Then, can I at least go out? Just ask once... please..."
I must have seemed too desperate. Seokmin, whose arm I held, went to ask for permission to go out.
Seokmin brought me back into the hospital room and wiped my tear-stained face.
"..Where are you going, in that state.."
"Hyung, to Seungcheol hyung..."
"Why? You'll collapse again, you'll get sick again... You'll just cry and not eat again..."
"..No, I promised my brother that we would meet again in good health..."
"..But hyung, there's something I've been wondering about for a while now. How did you know I had the letter?"
I thought about it for a while, wondering if I should tell him, but I felt bad for Seokmin, who must have been having a hard time and was anxious because of me, and I felt sorry that I, as the older brother, couldn't take care of him, so I decided to tell him.
"...in a dream, in a dream, my brother told me,"
"..huh..?"
"In my dream, Seungcheol hyung appeared. I tried to catch him, but I couldn't. But before he disappeared, he said that one of you and Soonyoung had something he gave them, and told me to ask him. And he also said that he wanted to see you again, healthy..."
"..."
As I thought about what happened in my dream, tears welled up in my eyes again. Seokmin listened quietly, then came over with a tissue and wiped my tears away.
"So, as soon as I woke up, I did that to you and Soonyoung..."
Seokmin, who had been listening with a blank expression for a moment, came over to me and said, "Hug me..?" Why..?
"Hyung, I'm sorry. I just kept hitting you... I don't know how you feel, hyung. I'm sorry... I'm sorry..."
Oh, you hugged me so I wouldn't hear you crying. Anyway, you're just full of pride. Whether it's you or Kwon Soon-young.
As I reached out to hug Seokmin, Soonyoung and Chani came in with the doctor. After conducting various tests, they said his psychological condition was the biggest issue, but that he had stabilized. They said he could be discharged, as long as he took care of his nutrition. As soon as they heard that, Soonyoung and Seokmin started packing their bags, and Chani quietly came and sat down next to me.
"..Hyung, hug me just once.."
I was a little taken aback by Chan's sudden tantrum, but I hugged him anyway. Then Chan smiled and said,
"Now I'm back to my original form, after all this time..."
I was taken aback by his saddened eyes. He was always a bright child, but because of me,
"Hyung, I'm sorry.."
"It won't hurt anymore, right..?"
"Yeah, it won't hurt."
Absolutely not, because I promised.
On the way to the columbarium in the car, I wrote a reply on the back of the letter my brother had written. I bought an envelope, put it in a nice envelope, and placed it next to a photo of my brother smiling brightly in the columbarium.
"Are you listening? I've decided not to get sick anymore, and I've decided to stay healthy... so let's meet again."
love you,
-
This episode shows Jihoon accepting Seungcheol's death!
lol
I used up everything I wrote.
Since it's vacation, I guess I'll write it in advance again
Maybe it's because of the exam period, so there's a break...
Um... I don't know