You have to love me a lot
“Hey, I heard Kim Taehyung got confessed to again? Awesome lol.”
There was this kid who was loved by everyone, both boys and girls. He had big, pretty eyes, a high, sharp nose. I liked him too. Our Monday gym class overlapped with his, so we shared the playground. After playing dodgeball, I was drenched in sweat and fanning myself with my hand when he approached me and handed me his fan. Then he beamed, "You can have it." I couldn't help but like him. He was that bright and pretty.
“Hwang Bitna and Kim Taehyung are dating! Crazy!”
Hwang Bitna, the most popular girl in our school. Tall, slender, with distinct, delicate features, she was beautiful. Even I thought she was pretty, so how much more so in Kim Taehyung's eyes. It was bitter, but I gave up. I didn't think she was someone I could connect with in the first place. My heart just lingered a little for a few days. That was it.
"taehyoung kim…?"
About three months later, it rained that day. The weather had been bright until morning, but suddenly it turned dark and rainy. Luckily, I had an umbrella in my bag, so I didn't get wet. As I passed the intersection in front of the school, I saw a familiar figure walking through the rain.
“Oh, hello…”
“Why are you walking in the rain?”
“Just because I don’t have an umbrella.”
“If you don’t have an umbrella, you’ll have to borrow one or buy one.
It's raining so hard, what if I catch a cold?"
“But you came. That’s enough.”
“…Who put it on you?”
“Sorry for being so shameless. Just cover up to your house.”
“Just kidding, I’ll take you home.”
The kid who always had a bright smile on his face seemed particularly gloomy on this rainy day, so I asked him what was wrong. I told him he looked depressed. Taehyung forced a smile and said nothing was wrong. Maybe it was because we were so close together on this rainy day, chatting away? Or maybe it was the atmosphere? The feelings I'd steeled myself against a few months ago were starting to blossom again.
“I heard Hwang Bitna and Kim Taehyung broke up? It’s been a while.
“I thought it would last a long time because they seemed to really like each other.”
A week after that day, I heard the news that Hwang Bitna and Kim Taehyung had broken up. Hearing that, the feelings I'd had for him for a long time, which had already been creeping up, suddenly flared up, to the point where I couldn't let them go.
“Why is it snowing all of a sudden… I have to go after getting hit.”
“Hello, Yeoju. Why are you still at school?”
“Uh… Hi. I’m busy with something for my club. What about you?”
“I’m consulting with my homeroom teacher.”
“Oh, I see…”
“I see… you don’t have an umbrella today. Right!”
“Yeah, that’s right lol”
"Let's go. I'll take you home. I owe you a favor."
I don't know what it was—what confidence it was, what I was thinking. The fact that I was staring at Taehyung, even the crunching sound of our feet as we walked, felt like a drama. I had this absurd thought: maybe Taehyung could like me too. So, impulsively,
"i like you."
"uh?"
“Will you go out with me, Taehyung?”
“I like you.”
I did something ridiculous.
“It’s really sudden.”
“Yeah, sorry…”
“There’s nothing to be sorry about. Don’t be sorry.”
“Don’t worry. I’m okay with you rejecting me.”
“Don’t worry~ I like you too.
“Let’s date like you said.”
And Taehyung accepted that ridiculous confession,
I started a dreamy relationship.
“Want to go out and play this week? After you finish school.”
“Yeah, I’m so happy. But where to?”
“Let’s go to the amusement park. I want to go to the amusement park with you.”
“Yeah. I’m fine with Taehyung going with you too.”
“Me too, me too. I love it all! It’s so exciting~”
It all felt like a dream. It was a miracle that the person I liked liked me back. Every day, every moment, seemed like a flower. That's how happy my relationship with Kim Taehyung was.
But Taehyung, who was like that, gradually changed. To the point where he made me realize that my dreamy relationship was real.
“Why didn’t you contact me yesterday? I was worried.”
“Sorry. I went to school and went straight to sleep.”
"Lies. I've seen all of Jeon Jungkook's stories..."
“I’m sorry. Just be sure to keep in touch from now on.”
“….”
“Oh, why is your expression like that…”
“We’re dating, right?”
“Yeah. Right. Then what is it?”
“I feel like I’m the only one who has a crush.”
“…Why would you think that? No.”
“I feel a bit tired when I see what you’re doing these days.
“You don’t keep in touch and you don’t go on dates with me.”
“I have a lot of plans with friends these days…”
“I don’t know. I don’t know if you like me.”
"i like you."
“…”
A month, two months, three months passed like that. There was no change in your behavior, and I endured each day, continuing my unrequited love disguised as a relationship. I loved you too much to tell you we should break up. I thought it was better to continue this relationship than to break up.
“What the heck, this is really funnyㅋㅋㅋㅋ”
“Right, right! As expected, Taehyung has no one else but you.
“You’re the only one who laughed at this joke. You’re the best!”
“Yeah, it’s just me, right? Hahahahahaha
But how can you not laugh at this joke? These kids are weird~”
You, who had said you'd be away volunteering and wouldn't be able to contact me, were having a blast on a date with Hwang Bit-na on the streets of Hongdae. I couldn't bear to watch it end. Wouldn't it have been better if I hadn't known? Why did I go to Hongdae with my friends that day? It was that bastard Kim Taehyung who was at fault, but I was blaming myself. I didn't want to date like this anymore. Maybe I already knew this was how it would turn out.
“It’s 11 o’clock now. What do you want to say?
“I’m very tired, Yeoju.”
“……”
“What is it, again?”
“……Of course you’ll be tired and worn out if you try to date Hwang Bitna secretly all day.”
"what?"
“Volunteering is a fucking joke. Are you going to Hongdae to volunteer?”
"The volunteer work was supposed to be around Hongdae, but it was suddenly canceled. I just happened to meet him."
"If it was canceled, you should have met me instead of your ex-girlfriend. Isn't that a bit ridiculous, even if you think about it?"
“We’re just friends.”
“Is your ex-girlfriend just a friend?”
“…….”
“Why are you meeting me?
“You don’t even like me.”
I asked the question I was most afraid of answering. After asking it, I became even more scared. Taehyung didn't respond.
"sorry."
My heart sank at Taehyung's reply a few seconds later. It was the moment I realized what it meant to feel my entire body and chest turn inside out. I couldn't breathe, and tears flowed like wildfire.
"Sorry."
“……”
“Actually, maybe I,
“I think he used you to forget Bitna.”
That day, we broke up. I cried so much that for a few days, I couldn't even cry anymore. I couldn't even swallow food, so I lost 15 pounds in two weeks. I felt like I'd lost a huge part of my life. No, I'd lost everything.
Taehyung reunited with Bitna a few months later. And then, he graduated from high school. He might have been the most trashy man in my life, but I never hated him. I loved him too much to hate him. That was all I could think. Just...
In my next life, I will be born as you
You must love me very much.
My first relationship, my first love ended like that.
✍🏻✍🏻✍🏻
It's been a month since I wrote this ㅜㅜ
It's been so long!-! I finished my exam today hehe
After the exams, there are various competitions coming up.
But I think I'll still have time to write hehehehe
This is just a short story I wrote because I wanted to write it tonight.
I'll see you at Bad Boy 🥰👋🏻