7. Become your lover (緣,連)
**
Even after that, Yeoju and I remained nothing more than friends. We only exchanged greetings, but when that happened, I'd persistently ask Min-gyu and my other friends about it.
Is it okay to just do it like this? Of course, I had to get scolded by Min-gyu,,
"Jungkook, you've worked hard."
"Yeah, hyung."
"It's so amazing to see all these famous actors gathered together and acting so amazingly."
The cast gathered for a script reading before full-scale filming began. The actors, personally cast by writer Kim Nam-joon, were, as expected, stellar actors with established acting skills.
Even though Jungkook is gaining fame, he couldn't help but feel nervous when acting in front of so many people.
Since it was the first script reading, there weren't any emotional scenes yet, but I wondered how nervous I would be for the second reading... I thought I would definitely immerse myself and practice without falling behind.
"But writer Kim was even better. He explained everything one by one, and I ended up listening to him as if I were an actor. LOL"
"What part did you like, hyung?"
"What, the dialogue? Hmm, that part for me. The scene where the female protagonist talks about what love is."
"........"
Yeah, I think that's the scene.
A scene where the female protagonist talks about the love she knows and feels when asked what love is.
'It's difficult, it's dangerous... but once you taste it, it's so hot like fire that you can't just sit still. Even though you know it, you fall for it like a fool... isn't that love?'
It was true. Difficult, dangerous, yet fiery, a love you couldn't escape. AndThe heroine was like that to me.
The manager, who saw me through the rearview mirror, snickered and clapped his hands as if to tell me to come to my senses, as if he knew I was absentmindedly thinking about Yeoju again.
He smiled and said it was okay, but if things continued like this, he would definitely end up drinking heavily and looking for the female lead tonight.
As I was internally telling myself to pull myself together, my phone rang. I pulled it out of my pocket and checked, and it was Jimin.
"Hey, bro. What's going on?"
- Just don't ask any questions and just answer.
"what?"
It was a call I received without thinking, but Jimin suddenly demands an answer, even though he doesn't know what it is.
- Tell me about your strengths, Ms. Yeoju.
"What are you talking about all of a sudden..."
- I told you to just answer.
"....merit.."
I even tried to pull myself together to get away from the thoughts of Yeoju, but the timing just wouldn't work. Why am I being told to think about Yeoju again?
I don't think there could be a more pathetic timing than this.
But what can I do, it's only temporary... Ah, that child has so many good points, so many things I can't help but love.
"The person who makes you fall in love is the heroine."
- ...also
"A kind person who is always respectful and considerate."
- ........
"But he's also very assertive, responsible, and takes good care of others. He's a dependable person."
- .........
"They are all good people, but above all..."
- What is more important than anything?
"I don't want to not love you, I can't help it..."
- .....This is enough, thank you.
"But why do I have to tell you this?"
- You'll find out later.
I called Jimin urgently, but he had already hung up.
I looked at my phone with an expression like, "What kind of situation is this?"
"Oh... isn't that the female protagonist?"
"What? Where?"
When I was thinking about whether I should call again,YeojuAt those words, I instinctively turned my head and looked out the window, where I could see Yeoju crossing the crosswalk in the distance and heading towards a hospital.
Wait a minute...hospital?
"..Yeoju, are you going to the hospital now?..is that right?"
"I think so. That's the hospital where Ho-seok is."
"ah...."
Where does it hurt? Is it serious? Why? Where and how? Tens of thousands of questions and worries filled my head.
My manager, who checked my condition belatedly, told me to calm down and that I might be going to meet someone, but I couldn't hear him.
"Brother, I..."
"Okay, okay. Calm down and put your seatbelt on, Jungkook."
"I don't have any other schedules, right?"
"..Yeah, no, why."
"Then let's stop by over there."
"Hey, Jungkook. You're doing this because of Yeoju-"
"Hyung, please... ok? Just say you went to see Hoseok hyung."
"ha...."
Unable to resist my urging, the manager sighed and turned the steering wheel to head to the hospital.
As we were almost at the hospital, I saw the figure of Yeoju walking to the hospital again.
"Hey, hey, calm down!"
"Brother, hurry up and do it."
"No. You can't get off."
"...okay."
"Put your phone down too."
"I'll just ask how you're doing. I won't say much, just..."
"......."
"I'm so worried, that's why"
The manager sighed again and waved his hand as if telling me to do as I pleased.
As soon as permission was granted, I tried calling the female protagonist, but she never answered, and my worries only grew.
Is it really that serious...?
I tried calling a few more times, but he kept not answering, so I tried to send a text, and then I got a call from Seokjin.
-> Miss Yeoju is with me. I'm in the middle of a consultation, so stop contacting me.
<- Why is the female protagonist with her older brother?
<- Is it serious?
<- Are you in a lot of pain? Are you having a hard time?
<- Depression..is that it? Is the female lead crying?
<- No? Huh?
-> 🙃
<- Brother please
<- Jung Ho-seok!! Hey
-> Shut up.
I shook my head violently, my frustration welling up. "Just tell me, what's going on? Is the country going to collapse? This is so annoying...
You know how much I'm yearning right now!! You know how much we're related, but you pretend not to know... that's bad.
"Now we're leaving."
"Oh, no!"
"You're not answering the phone and there's no answer. What should I do?"
"No...don't leave yet"
"Okay, let's go."
"No, stop the car!!"
"Okay. I'll park it in front of your house."
"Huh!!!"
...Ah, there really isn't anything that goes as planned.
The timing is not right.
*
"Wow, you finally filled it all out."
"Yes... I received a lot of help."
"You are truly a wonderful person, Ms. Yeoju. The many virtues packed into this sheet of paper speak volumes about what kind of person you are."
"Well...you said it was just homework..."
"Even though it's called homework, it's not easy to bring all these strengths together. And it says here, 'A person you can't help but love,' which is a really big advantage."
The teacher's calm words seem to pile up in my heart like soft flower petals.
"There are many ugly people in the world. And since both you and I are human, of course we have our ugly parts."
"........"
"But look at this. Yeoju is also a wonderful person with many, many good qualities."
"........."
"And everyone around me is saying that Yeoju is a lovable person who you can't help but love, and that she lives with immense love."
As the petals piled up one by one and finally bloomed into a single flower, the fragrance of flowers filled my heart.
I was so ugly and ugly that I hated and was in pain, but the flower that bloomed inside me was more beautiful and lovely than I thought, and it seemed to have a fragrant scent.
"I... didn't know... I just thought it was strange that he kept telling me he loved me when I was so lacking and useless... I was so scared that I might turn that love into resentment and leave again..."
"....The feelings and wounds that arise from not being able to love yourself...it's so hard."
"It hurts..."
"Yes, it hurts. But, Miss Yeoju."
"......."
"You don't have to be so hurt, you don't have to be so miserable, you can smile and laugh. I told you, there are many people by your side who will love you, even with all the flaws we all have."
"........"
"You don't have to feel that way. You're a lovely, wonderful person born to be loved."
I know that these feelings, these memories, these wounds that seem to suffocate me and weigh me down deeply have not gone away.
But I also learned that I am someone who can laugh, be happy, and love.
I also knew very well that the people who loved me were embracing me like this.
Feeling a little more relaxed, I let go of the tense hands I had been clenching.
"Okay, now I'll give you the last homework."
"......."
"It's very simple. It's an easy assignment that we can discuss in detail when we meet next week, Miss Yeoju."
"yes.."
"Now love freely. Be loved, love, and stay that way. Be it your friends or lovers, or anyone else who is important to you, please share your love."*
A house as dark as a castle.
Like any other star's home, the spacious living room was filled with night views.
Jungkook drank two cans of beer and then stared blankly out the window.
Even though his cell phone rang several times, Jeongguk remained motionless and stared at the night view.
And a few minutes later, the phone rang again, and only then did Jungkook slowly sit up and nervously pick up his phone without even checking who was on the other end.
"Honey"
- Jungkook, huh.. where are you now?
"My lady..."
Before Jeongguk could even finish speaking, a voice was heard calling for Jeongguk urgently, and he could immediately tell that it was Yeoju.
The person who held onto Jeongguk all day and wouldn't let go. The person I thought about and missed all day.
- Ha..hu, are you home?
"Ah...uh, uh"
The female protagonist speaks in a breathless voice, and although she is taken aback for a moment, she answers that she is at home, and then hears a loud, urgent voice again.
- Ha, ha.. wait!! I.. I'll go now
"......."
Jungkook, who was blankly staring at the phone as it hung up without him being able to answer, quickly went into his room and got ready as his heart started pounding harder and harder.
I don't know what's going on, but the female protagonist is looking for me. She's coming home. She's coming to see me.
As I was roughly changing clothes and getting ready, the intercom rang. Seeing the heroine's image on the screen, I pressed the door open button, but her figure quickly disappeared from the screen.
As soon as he confirmed that Yeoju had entered the apartment, Jeongguk opened the front door without waiting and ran to the elevator.
As the numbers went up and I got closer to my house floor, my heart started beating like crazy.
And soon the elevator door opened on my floor and I saw the female protagonist.
As soon as the door opened, the two stopped for a moment at the sight of each other, but then Yeo-ju got off the elevator and stood in front of Jeong-guk.
The woman felt tense and stiff at the back of her neck, but she clenched her hands tightly, took a deep breath, and raised her head to look at Jeongguk.
"Jungkook... I, I know... there's never been a time when I hated you. I loved every moment I spent with you."
"........."
"Because I'm scared...so, uh...uh, I, ..uh"
"...Okay, heroine, let's go in. Why are you crying? It's heartbreaking."
"No..."
Jungkook is surprised to see the female protagonist bursting into tears with her eyes red from overflowing emotions, and he hugs her and tries to comfort her.
She came to me out of nowhere and acted like she was going to confess something, and then burst into tears like a child... Ah, Jungkook felt strangely happy seeing the appearance of a female lead he had never seen before.
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When I brought the heroine into the house and sat her down on the sofa, she seemed to stop crying and took deep breaths to calm her emotions.
"Do you feel a little calmer now?"
"Ugh...sorry.."
"No, it's okay. But, heroine... what were you trying to say...?"
"....Jungkook, everything I said earlier was true."
"huh...."
"I hated myself so much. I felt so inadequate and scared. But I kept hurting others, so I hated myself so much."
"........"
"And I'm going to hurt you too, and I'm going to be scared of all the times I told you I loved you... I was scared like an idiot again, and I pushed you away."
"........"
"Jungkook... I've been thinking and experiencing things like that since I was very young. That's why I didn't know how to love myself or face it head on. But after meeting you... and recently receiving counseling... I think I've changed a little..."
"Hoseok hyung... are you talking?"
"huh.."
"I'm still a timid person who hides well because I'm afraid of everything. I don't think my habit of pushing away will go away... But I don't think I hate myself."
"........"
"You too...my friends and other people who are so precious to me also cherish and love me, and that's so nice...it makes me want to love too."
The two of us sit on the sofa in the still-dark living room, the lights off. We gaze at each other, relying on the small light streaming in from the beautiful night view outside the window.
The trembling voice of the female protagonist reached Jeongguk one letter at a time.
And the more they touched, the redder Jeongguk's eyes became and his heart started beating faster and louder than before.
"Jungkook.. do you have a girlfriend..?"
"...no.."
"Then, can I... you know, love you?"
"......"
"I... am confident that I can truly love you... I want to be your lover."
As the girl was getting nervous and wetting her dry mouth while Jeongguk didn't answer, Jeongguk suddenly hugged her tightly in his arms.
"Phew - of course it's good... so good"
"......."
"I'll love you more. It doesn't matter if you change or not. I just love you. Everything about you."
"Ah...ah, Jungkook, I love you."
"I love you too, heroine."
Clank -
Gudangtang -
The bedroom door opened, followed by a loud thud.
They were so absorbed in each other's company that they opened the door in a hurry, kissing each other, and the ornament that had been lying in front of them fell down after colliding with Jeongguk's arm.
"What should I do with this? I think it's broken."
"Okay, don't worry about it, heroine."
Jeongguk, who had been holding the worried female lead's cheeks without hurting them and made her look at him, said it was okay and then kissed her lips again.
Love is difficult and dangerous.
But why do people want love so much?
Still, isn't it because the feeling of love that rises so passionately shines and looks so beautiful?
Because it's beautiful to look at each other, cry, laugh, share everything, and love. The overwhelming emotions make me breathe.
People love with their own emotions and stories, and they shine their beauty through them.
"I love you so much I want to give you my whole world."
"I can't help but love you. I love you even more because you're so lovable."
"What is that... it's disgusting"
"Why, I'm good, but I love you that much"
They shine so beautifully, becoming each other's everything.
Even with pain, hardship, and regret, you are becoming my everything, my love.
My beloved, my most beloved. My lovable, my beloved. My everything, my love.
Become your lover (緣,連)
*
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