She was my first love. If I were to compare her to a flower, she would be like the azalea. The azalea flower's meaning is "first love." I felt like you would be my first and last love.
"Kang Yeo-ju"
"Oh, Park Jimin! Do you ever call me?"
"If someone saw me, they'd think I never talked to you at all."
"Mom, you've been busy lately with your flower shop work."
"Sorry about that.. new flowers and trees have come in.."
"No, it's okay. You like flowers."
"Or do you want to come to our flower shop after you finish today?"
".. Is that okay?"
"Isn't that obvious?"
"Okay then!"
I promised my lover and I would go to our flower shop, where my favorite flowers were kept. Your bright, cheerful smile was enough to make my heart beat faster. I took a deep breath to calm my racing heart and prayed for school to end quickly.
"Are you on duty?"
"no?"
"Me too lol let's go quickly"
As she entered the flower shop, the distinctive scent of flowers lifted her spirits. Yeoju looked at each one, fascinated.
"Jimin, what is this flower?"
"Evening primroses have a flower language of silent love and wish."
"Oh, is this forget-me-not?"
"Yeah yeah"
"I really liked forget-me-nots."
".. ah…"
"..ㅎ Don't be sad for no reason, my dad must have gone to a good place.."
The meaning of forget-me-not is "don't forget me." When Yeo-ju went to see her father, she bought a bouquet of forget-me-nots, magnolias, and zinnias. Magnolia means friendship, and magnolia means "missing someone who has left." Yeo-ju planned to follow in her father's footsteps and become a fashion designer, but her father was hit by a car while walking home with her after finishing school, taking her place.
".."
Without saying anything, Jimin patted Yeoju and picked a zinnia and put it in Yeoju's ear.
“…It’s a zinnia.”
"Don't be too sad, I will always be watching you from above."
Jimin was always there to help Yeo-ju, who was always sad when she thought of her father, and Yeo-ju cried in Jimin's arms without even knowing that Jimin liked her.
"Jimin-ah"
"huh?"
"I want to have a clean and pure heart, but why do I always feel depressed and gloomy, as if I'm dirty?"
"..Would you like to buy a lotus flower? The flower's meaning is a clean heart, a pure mind."
"Okay.. heh"
He sold the flowers for half price and then took her to Yeoju's house. He comforted her along the way and made her laugh with jokes.
"Thank you, Jimin. Please be at the bus stop by 7:30 tomorrow."
"okay"
"Can I go to the flower shop tomorrow too?"
"of course"
On the way home, Jimin's head hurt so much that he felt like it was going to split open. He fumbled with some painkillers in his pocket, and after much thought, he headed to the hospital.
And knowing that he already had brain cancer, he walked to the hospital with lonely steps.
"..Unfortunately, your lifespan was compressed to one month... The cause was an overdose of medication... "
I couldn't hear a thing. It was already absurd to be diagnosed with cancer at 19, but to be given a month to live? Suddenly, I had so many things I wanted to do in that month. I wanted to spend time with Yeoju, hug her, tell her I liked her, that I loved her.
***
As I walked to the bus stop, feeling weak, Yeoju came walking from the other side. Unlike me, Yeoju looked happy and energetic.
"good morning!"
".. Yeah, good morning"
".. What's wrong, something bad?"
"no.."
"Tsk, speak quickly!"
I clutched my pounding head and fell into the heroine's arms. Then, swallowing back tears, I spoke.
".. It's brain cancer.. They say there's only one month left.."
“…. So the medicine you took during lunch was a headache medicine??”
"You idiot... If it hurts, don't tell me, hehe, just lean on me and I won't be able to help you if you're sick, hehe, I won't be able to help you."
“..because I like you…”
“I gave it a lot of flak…”
The heroine wept even more bitterly upon hearing my confession. She hugged me tightly, perhaps fearing the future.
"Ugh.. Park, Jimin.."
".. huh?"
"Me too, good, ah"
When I heard the single word, 'I like you,' my mind went blank and I couldn't think of anything. Then, I came to my senses and grabbed the female protagonist's cheeks, wiped her tears with my thumbs, and carefully kissed her.
We kissed, sometimes long, sometimes short, and then boarded the bus to school. We were a little awkward, perhaps in the afterglow of the kiss. So I took this opportunity to say something I'd always wanted to say.
"Lady, I want you to understand this one thing."
"..what is it?"
"You are my first and last love."
Then the female protagonist started to cry and whined, telling her not to say things like that and to not go because she was anxious.
"Instead... spend the rest of your time with me."
"Isn't that obvious?"
I held the heroine's hand tightly and leaned on her shoulder.
"..there won't be any major issues for a few days"
***
"Jimin-ah"
"huh?"
"What is our relationship?"
"What kind of relationship would you like?"
"Okay... I see..."
You might wonder what kind of relationship we have since we kissed and didn't even say anything about dating.
"Let's date, heroine"
"…??"
"Isn't that what you wanted to say?"
".."
He kissed the female lead on the lips, holding her hand and giving her a faint smile, perhaps because she was so cute with her blushing face.
"good.."
".. really??"
"Ugh... Be quiet... There's a guest coming in..."
"Ah haha, I got it"
"..Are you an employee?"
"Um... Are you an employee? Yes, I will."
He glanced at me suspiciously and asked again.
"This store is my parents' store. My parents are currently at the second store, so I'm in charge of it!"
"Oh, you're my son?"
"Yes, yes, I like flowers too!"
Only then did his frown clear and he began to ask about the flowers.
"What can I give to someone I love..?"
"Hmm, I recommend ripsalis, buckwheat flowers, and lisianthus."
"What is the language of flowers?"
"Rhipsalis and lisianthus are unchanging love, and buckwheat flowers are lovers."
"I'll pick up a bouquet of lisianthus and buckwheat flowers tomorrow evening around 6 o'clock."
"Okay, see you tomorrow!"
The heroine looked at Jimin with cool eyes, and Jimin put his cold hand on his cheek as if embarrassed.
"I'll take you, let's go."
"..I could just go to sleep.."
"?"
"No.. no!"
".. cute"
***
The house I've been to for a long time is surprisingly cleaner than I expected. It was really dirty back then...
"Did you do some spring cleaning?"
"Yeah yeah lol it's gotten so clean!"
"Yeah haha for a moment I thought I came to the wrong place"
"Oh my, who is this? Is it Jimin? Long time no see."
"Oh, Aunt! Hello!"
"He's gotten more handsome. This kind of person would be perfect for a son-in-law."
"Wh...what are you saying! Mom, you too..."
Hmm... I see. I guess I'll lose out and never get married. What a shame. I wanted to live happily with the female lead for the rest of my life, but that won't be possible.
"It's a shame, there aren't many men like Jimin, Yeoju."
"Huh. There are so many men in the world, Mom!"
"(Gloomy)"
"Uh.. no.. that's not it"
Even though it was something the female protagonist said to hide her love life, she tried to act upset.
"What's going on?"
"Uh.. no, mom! haha"
Huh. Look at this!?? It's late, I should go home.
"Auntie, it's late, I have to go home."
"Okay, okay"
"Ahhh Park Jimin!!"
"why?"
“.. No, bye….”
"Hahaha, so cute"
"Okay, go quickly..."
As I was about to leave the house, whispering, "Good night, princess," my aunt told me to go to sleep because it was late.
"You on the floor. I on the bed. Okay?"
"Haha, okay"
We went into the room together and lay down on Yeoju's bed.
"Oh, it's me and my bed."
"Don't you know that the customer is king?"
"Yeah, I don't know. That's why you sleep on the floor."
"Or let's sleep together"
"Wh...what...?"
"I just wanted to hold your hand and sleep. What were you thinking?"
"..tch"
"Don't be upset lol"
"Can you do what you think?"
"… what????"
He climbed on top of the woman lying next to me and played around with her.
"Oh come out... I'm embarrassed..."
While I was in this position, the door opened with a 'clank'.
"Hey..! Come out..!"
The female protagonist was mumbling and talking loudly, so he covered her mouth with his own mouth.
“Hey kids, let’s have some fun and eat some apples…”
"Have a good time.. haha, let's talk later, heroine."
As soon as Yeoju's mother left, she opened her mouth.
"Hey you bastard.. what are you going to do!!"
"You're calling your boyfriend a slut... Isn't that harsh?"
The woman had already opened the door and left. Jimin grabbed his head and poured some medicine into his mouth to soothe his nausea. He swallowed it down with the water on the desk.
“… Will my lifespan be shortened further?”
***
"Hey, you should have told me in advance haha"
"Should we have a meeting?"
"Mom, I can't marry Jimin."
"Why? We both loved each other so much."
"... Didn't you hear that from Jimin's mom?"
"what?"
"..I guess you didn't hear"
I only have a month left, but Mom doesn't know. That's why I didn't want to tell her.
"Ask Jimin directly about that."
"No, you tell me."
"..Jimin has cancer.."
The weak female protagonist's hands tightened, and tears welled up in her eyes. Then she ran into the room and hugged Jimin.
"Where does it hurt?"
"No, I can hold out..."
***
"Ugh.."
Jimin ran to the bathroom and vomited. He hated himself for this, and resented it. He got dressed, wrote down what he wanted to say on a Post-it note, kissed Yeoju on the forehead, and left the house. He went to the hospital, exactly.
***
".. How did you take the medicine.. that your lifespan was shortened like this?"
".. I don't know either"
"Good luck!"
I stumbled out of the hospital a little and went to the flower shop to decide what flowers to give Yeoju one last time.
Ring ring,
"_mom"
"Jimin, are you okay? Mom is coming now."
"_.. 3 days."
"_… 3 days..?"
"_There are 3 days left"
"_I told you to take your medicine in moderation..!"
"_sorry.."
"_.. Ha.. No, it's okay.."
My strong mother is having a hard time because of me.
Just for me. For my son who is dying at 19.
"_I'm here, let's hang up"
Mom came into the flower shop, and I was weaving a bouquet of silk, blue roses, and moth orchids for Yeoju. The silk, meaning unwavering love, the blue rose, meaning impossible, unattainable love, and the moth orchids, meaning I love you.
"Who is that?"
".. girl friend"
My mother also watched from the side without saying anything.
"Mom, Dad?"
"They say the company is running a little late."
"Yeah.."
And then I made the bouquet I ordered yesterday.
"Is this yours?"
"huh"
"Good combination"
"Thank you"
After I finished making everything and chatted with my mom for about 30 minutes, a guest came in and received the flowers.
"Goodbye, gulp, ugh.."
I looked at my hand and saw blood. Then I looked at my mom. She took me to the bathroom, washed the blood away, held me, and patted me.
".. it hurts"
My mother told me not to get sick, that she could take my place. But there was no way to change fate.
".. If there is a next life, I wish my mom was my mom in the next life too. I wish I could be like that."
"Stop talking, Jimin.. I'll call your girlfriend. Who is she?"
".. Yeoju…."
Mom was surprised, but calmed down and called Yeoju. Yeoju ran the seven-minute walk in three minutes.
"Ugh... Park, Jimin..."
Jimin, his tired body trembling, kissed the female lead. They held each other's lips for quite some time, as if they were alone together.
"Lady, cough..."
"Huh..? Huh.."
"It's a present, finally..."
I handed her the bouquet I'd made earlier. Her warm hand touched my cold, icy hands.
"love you.."
***
My first, first love, first and last love, Yeoju.
As if you never knew me before.
Forget me, thinking that I'm back to the beginning.
I hope you find your first love again. Like I never existed.
I love you with all my heart. But it's a love that can't be achieved.
-Part of the letter that came with the bouquet-
***
I love you, my first love, unwaveringly. But it's a love that can never be.
I posted this on the bulletin board.. I like this hehe This is the restored version of the post I deletedㅜㅜㅠ