2019.01.02
Your birthday is coming soon, but neither your parents nor I can do anything but shed tears.
Was it because of the painful words I told you?
Or… was it because I came to see you?
2019.01.01
When I woke up in the morning, you were nowhere to be seen.
Where had you gone so early?
You came back around 9 AM.
Worried, I asked, "Where were you?"
But you didn’t answer.
You just stood at the entrance, looking at me with sad eyes.
Then you spoke.
"Baekhyun, I drank today. But… I feel completely sober. Completely… too sober. Haha, have I built up a tolerance? Mmm… Hyun-ah… Hyun…"
"Yeoju, you’re drunk. Come on, let’s get you to bed."
As I stepped toward you, ready to support you, you looked straight at me and said something that made my heart drop.
"Hyun-ah… Baekhyun, why can you see me?"
"…What??"
"I… I know everything. I know… everything…"
"………"
"Baekhyun, where am I?"
"How did you…?"
"………"
"………"
You said you knew.
Though it seemed like you didn’t fully understand what had happened.
I hurriedly got dressed and took you to Baekyeon Hospital.
Standing outside your hospital room, I took a deep breath, gripping your trembling hand as we stepped inside.
And there you were.
Lying on the hospital bed.
Thin, frail, and sickly.
You stared at yourself, then whispered.
"Am I… alive?"
"Yeah…"
Just then, your mother walked in.
"B-Baekhyun..."
"Ah… Hello, ma’am."
You turned to her, desperately reaching out.
"Mom… I’m right here. I’m here…"
But your mother didn’t hear you.
"Baekhyun… Those kids…"
"Ah… Well, they’ll be caught soon."
I tried to steer the conversation away, but you just kept looking at your mom.
Your mother looked exhausted, so I told her, "I’ll stay here. Please, get some rest."
"Alright, just for a little while…" she said before stepping out of the room.
As soon as she left, tears started streaming down your face.
"Baekhyun… Can I ever go back?"
"………"
"What happened to me? Tell me… please."
I looked at you, wiped away your tears, and answered.
"You’re just sick. That’s all. Once you get better, everything will—"
"Liar."
"You’re lying. I can tell. Why are you lying to me?"
"Yeoju… I… I promised I would protect you. I swore I would…"
My tears fell uncontrollably.
You reached out, trying to wipe them away—
But your hand passed right through me.
And in that moment, I broke.
So I told you the truth.
*"Yeoju… How do I even explain this? Your friends… Well, you never realized it, but some of them hated you. It started… two years ago. Remember when you lost your umbrella? That’s probably when it began.
At first, they bullied you in secret.
Then, they made it seem like other people were doing it.
Eventually, they made others join in.
And two months ago… they pushed you onto the road.
That’s how the accident happened."*
You listened quietly, frowning slightly before asking:
"Then… where are they now?"
"They probably ran away."
I was surprised by how calm you were.
But more than anything, I felt sorry for you.
Why weren’t you angry?
Why didn’t you lean on me?
Why did you carry everything on your own?
As I pondered these questions, you suddenly smiled at me.
"Still, Baekhyun… I’m lucky to have such a good friend."
My chest tightened again.
I lowered my head, clenched my hands, and shut my eyes.
Then, I felt something soft on my head.
It was your hand.
You were patting me.
"Don’t worry, everything will be okay. As long as you’re here for me, I won’t be scared."
"Yeoju… I, I—"
I swallowed the words I wanted to say.
Instead, I took a step closer and said:
"I won’t be scared either. I’ll find them. I’ll make sure the truth is revealed."
I reached out, pretending to pat your head—
But there was no warmth. No sensation.
Nothing.
I shouldn’t be disappointed.
But my chest felt unbearably tight.
Even though you were standing right in front of me,
I couldn’t hide the disappointment on my face.
Because deep down, I was terrified.
Terrified that you’d never wake up.
That I’d never be able to hold you again.
That I’d never get to tell you—
2019.01.02
"Yeoju… the truth is… I’ve liked you for a long time.
So please…
Come back to me."