You are my salvation
ยฉ 2022 BTS My Love All right reserved.
*This articleWORTH IT COMPANYย By crew mission
This is an ongoing article.
I've been in all sorts of relationships in my life, but never one has been as shitty as this one. Of course, it wasn't shitty from the start, but after hearing my story, you'll understand why it's shitty.
I was 27 years old, and I thought he was the man I'd spend the rest of my life with. But my relationship with this man, who I thought would be my salvation, was doomed from the start. I foolishly realized that as the 1,400-day mark approached.
The beginning of this dog-like romance I'm talking about was four years ago, on a crisp, sunny spring day, the kind of day when even birds begin to mate. On a day perfectly suited to new encounters, the man and I met while working part-time. While studying at a university and working part-time at a cafe during my downtime, I ran into a customer who was a real deal. A real deal customer, someone you'd likely pass by at least once. But he wasn't a real deal. Even thinking about it now makes me seethe with anger.
"Who put whipped cream on this?! I never asked for whipped cream!"
"I checked because you clearly asked me to upload it."
"Are you deaf? I've never been deaf before!?"
"What's wrong with your head?! Is your memory bad?"
I couldn't even bring myself to apologize to the customer who hurled abuse at me, a man with a remarkable memory who could recite the lyrics of a song I'd heard once. Honestly, it wasn't about pride, it was just that I didn't want to apologize for something that wasn't my fault. I just bowed my head, facing the gaze of everyone in the cafe, as the customer screamed so loudly that my ears bled.
"I heard that too. You asked for a lot of whipped cream on it."
"It seems like you have a bad memory?"
The male customer was so shocked by the customer's statement that he heard the customer ask for whipped cream, that the customer stammered and shouted at the top of his voice, asking for evidence.
"The camera you see over there must have recorded everything. You can check it out. You know you could be charged with obstruction of business, right?"
The customer who discovered the camera pointed at by the male customer with his finger stormed out of the cafe, exclaiming, "There are all kinds of things like this!"
With the guest gone, my tension completely relaxed, and I barely managed to stand, leaning against the wall. Then, I raised my head to thank the guest, but he opened his mouth first and asked me a question.
"It's hard to deal with people like that, isn't it?"
"It happens often, but it's still hard to deal with."
"Thank you for your help. I'd like to repay you in some way. If you'd like a drink, I'd be happy to make it for you."
"The drinks are fine, but... do you have a boyfriend?"
After hearing that I didn't have a boyfriend, he took my phone number in return. Still, I'm not a shameless person, so I tried to show my gratitude, even if only a little, by treating him to a special meal. But after that, he started coming to the cafe every day, saying nice things, and seeing my face. I realized he was truly a good person. And that's how this relationship began, with my confession.
The relationship went more smoothly than I expected. It was more stable than my previous relationships, and we rarely fought. When misunderstandings arose, it was the man who made the extra effort to resolve them, which made me really like him.
My relationship with my girlfriend, which is what most people worry about, was almost completely clean, and she was someone who trusted me to the point that I had no friends I didn't know.
But, why on earth is this relationshipDog-like loveWhy? Because of what happened the day before the 1400th day.
I've been planning and preparing a surprise for the person who always throws me anniversary events, something I've been thinking about for a month. I ordered the cake, the highlight of the event, a week in advance. I could have just had it delivered, but why did I go through all that trouble? Thinking about how I walked an hour from home to get it myself makes me want to slap myself that day. That was incredibly sincere, huh?
Anyway, on my way home with the cake, I spotted a familiar silhouette. No matter how I rolled over, it was definitely someone I recognized. What was he doing here, someone who'd been working overtime at the office? And he wasn't even in a suit; he was dressed like someone you'd wear to a club.
What was even more unbelievable was that he had told another woman, not me, that he loved her and kissed her. That he, a man with a clean slate of relationships with women and only male friends, had kissed another woman was like being hit with a hammer. I feel truly ashamed of myself for not foolishly grabbing her hair and slapping her in the ear.
What happened after that? We had a huge fight, cut off contact, and it was the typical end of a relationship. Turns out, the good guy I knew wasn't him. He wasn't the savior who saved me from the start, but a son of a bitch who ruined my life.
To put it simply, meeting him at a cafe wasn't a coincidence; it was deliberate. He'd set up a plan with a very annoying customer to make me fall for him, and he'd only pretended to rescue me from the situation he'd created. In short, I foolishly fell for his scheme to turn me into his show-off girlfriend.
My preconceived notion that my relationships with women were clean was completely wrong. I lied about working overtime, meeting male friends, going to clubs, and doing all sorts of other things with women I met there. The funniest part was that I never once suspected anything during those four long years. Later, I learned another thing: 80 percent of the numbers of male friends saved on my phone were women's numbers.
I guess I wasn't as good at reading people as I thought. How foolish must I have been to create a fake situation and get me to fall for him? If only I had a better eye for people, I wouldn't have met this son of a bitch. If I could, I'd tear my brain out and erase every memory of him.
I was so tormented by the fact that four years of my one and only life had been stolen by this worthless piece of trash, I drank for days. I wanted to erase it all. To be honest, I drank because I wanted to turn back the clock on those four years that had been completely stolen from me. Of course, drinking won't bring back that time.
I went to the nearest bar and had a drink alone. Some people asked me if I had any friends? That's not true. Having heard so many people say I'm pretty, I've always been the type to make connections with people I meet, so I had a wide network. But when I actually checked my contact list, I found I had no true friends who would listen to my innermost feelings when times were tough.
"Give me a bottle of the strongest liquor here."
โYouโll probably get drunk after just one drink. Are you okay with that?โ
"Yes, it's okay."
"I was just wondering, but it's you, Senior Yeoju."
I raised my head to the bartender who called my name and checked his face. It was Kim Taehyung, my junior by two years who I had liked during my glorious high school days.
He had a chiseled face, but he was always icy, and he was famous not only at our school but throughout the country for his cold, handsome face. If that cold-looking guy had shown me his puppy-like face, I wouldn't believe it. But it's true. Kim Taehyung, who only showed me his puppy-like face. Thanks to that, I was the envy and jealousy of many female students. Fortunately, I'm not the type to be easily outwitted, so no one said anything to me.
It's a bit odd to say this out of my own mouth, but I'm not someone with good looks that can be admired anywhere, so I've received a lot of confessions. So honestly, at first I thought Kim Taehyung would be just like other men. He says he likes me just because he sees my face. But as time went by, I felt the sincerity. Now that I think about it, the sincerity between that scumbag and Taehyung Kim was different. That bastard put his sincerity on my outside, but Taehyung Kim put his sincerity on my inside. What this means is that the bastard who put his sincerity on the outside said, โOur heroine has a pretty face and a pretty heart. 'I can't not love you.' Kim Taehyung, who expressed his sincerity inside, said, 'Sunbae seems like a strong person, but in my eyes, he seems more soft-hearted than anyone else. I think I came to like that side of my senior.'
"It's been a long time. I was hoping you were doing well, but I feel bad because it doesn't seem to be the case."
".... I'm sorry... If I ever saw you again, I really wanted to tell you. I'm so sorry."
"If you were going to leave me like that, you should have been doing well. Why are you acting like this?"
Taehyung, who poured me a glass of the strongest alcohol, said in a sad voice.
At the time, I was a senior in high school, and Taehyung was still a freshman. I'd rejected his confession, both for myself and for Taehyung, but I couldn't coldly reject him any longer, as he kept confessing his feelings with sincerity.
It was because of me that our short but happy relationship of four months came to an end.
Me, about to take the CSAT and become a college student, and Taehyung, who had to study for it. For the sake of our futures, we couldn't continue this relationship any longer. So, I selfishly pushed Taehyung away. "Will you take responsibility if I don't make it to Seoul?" "Don't block my path." "My life is more important than love." I bluntly hurled these words at Taehyung.
Since then, I pretended not to know him at school, and I haven't seen Taehyung even once since I graduated, and now I'm meeting him here.
"No. You're being punished for hurting yourself. I find it funny, too. That I dreamed of happiness while hurting you. I wanted you and me to be happy."
"I'm so selfish, aren't I?"
"Senior... no, you're still the same, soft-hearted."
"After breaking up with my sister, I tried really hard to forget her. They say people forget each other, so I dated other people, and tried every method I could think of to forget her."
"But it's been 8 years and I still can't forget you. What should I do?"
How could I have forgotten you for eight years? He looked at me with a face that seemed poised to burst into tears, and my heart wavered. This shouldn't be happening.
"If it weren't too late, I would like to make you happy even now. What do you think, sister?"
"How can I... with what face can I meet you again... Find your happiness, not mine. Meet someone who can make you happy."
"You're the one who can make me happy. If you're happy, I'm happy too."
I couldn't come to my senses because Taehyung was speaking so sincerely like that, so I just drank the alcohol in front of me.
"Why... me...? There are so many others. There are so many good people who would suit someone as good as you. Why..."
"That's why I feel like I have to be with my older sister."
He spoke while carefully wrapping his hand around my hand that was tightly clutching the glass.
Taehyung, you gave me a ray of light in my life that had become like a swamp. You are my salvation.
Even though my body and mind were hurt by that shitty relationship, I could be sure that I would be truly happy for the rest of my life thanks to Taehyung, who saved me.