When that day comes, I think of you
© 2022 BTS My Love All right reserved.
*This articleWORTH IT COMPANY On a crew mission
This is an ongoing article.
On August 23, 2021, 18-year-old Kim Yeo-ju was given a terminal diagnosis.
With only one month left, the heroine, who feels like she'll regret not having dated in her 18 years, sighs deeply. A terminal illness at the tender age of 18 is truly heartbreaking. She feels like she's wasted all this time, and she regrets it.
The female protagonist, who doesn't want to waste a month like this, takes out a diary and decides to write a diary for 30 days.
When she actually tried to write, she was troubled by the fact that every day at the hospital was the same, so she had no idea what to write. What blew away her worries was the cool autumn breeze. The blazing sun gradually faded, and the heat slowly subsided. The cool breeze drew her to the window, as if calling her, and as she stood there, she spotted a boy sitting in a Mercedes Benz outside the hospital.
He had injured his arm somehow, and his right arm was in a cast. For some reason, the child looked so lonely that I felt drawn to him, so I walked out of the hospital and approached him.
The woman, carefully holding the child by her side, removed one of the earphones the child was listening to and placed it in her own ear. The child, seeing someone he didn't know insert one of his earphones into his ear, looked at the woman in bewilderment.
"How did you hurt your arm?"
"While playing basketball with my friends"
"You must be sick. But why aren't you going home and sitting here?"
I'm supposed to be here for a month. I've never seen someone stay in the hospital for a month just because they had a cast. It didn't make sense to spend a month in the hospital for a broken arm when there was nothing else wrong.
"No. I don't have any other problems, and they told me to stay in the hospital for a month? Are you crazy?"
"I guess he just didn't like the sight of me. I'm such a troublemaker."
"You're a troublemaker? You don't look like one at all."
You're the first person to say that.This kid told me his name was Jeon Jungkook, and that he was the same age as me. He said he got into a lot of trouble, and everyone from his teachers to his parents disliked him. But to the female protagonist, he was just an 18-year-old kid in need of attention.
"I've talked too much about myself. Now tell me about yourself."
"My story might not be interesting, but is that okay?"
"Then I guess my story was interesting."
Well, it wasn't boring.So, the female protagonist told Jeong-gook her name, her age, and that she was in the hospital with only a month left to live. Jeong-gook's eyes moistened at the female protagonist's words. Perhaps the terminal diagnosis was a gentle shock, as he bit his lip.
"Don't bite your lips, they'll hurt."
"........."
"They say I'll die in a month. Isn't it strange how calm I am? Well, no matter how much I struggle to avoid death, it's not like I can survive. What's the point of wasting my precious time?"
"........."
"In that case, I'd rather spend the remaining time at ease."
Jeong-guk, who had been quietly listening to Yeo-ju, asked her in a low voice.
"Is there anything you really want to do during that month?"
"Because I really want to do it..."
A love I've never experienced before. A truly madly loving experience.
"I want to try dating..."
"romantic relationship...?"
"There are those relationships where you're so desperate you can't stand to live. I've always wanted to be in a relationship like that."
"........"
"Isn't that funny? You're 18 and you've never been in a relationship."
Jungkook couldn't deny it. For Jungkook, who had been in his 18th year of life, dating was a piece of cake. With his striking looks and ability to excel, he was always surrounded by women. Dating, growing tired of it, breaking up—a repetitive pattern—was his typical love life. Of course, it was always the woman who confessed.
"Want to do it with me? That kind of love?"
"...I don't do flirtatious relationships. Even if I only have a month left."
"So, let's do it, a relationship that's so deadly it can't be helped."
Are you serious? You want to have a love affair with me, whom you just met today?No matter how much I thought about it, I couldn't understand it. Was it just because he felt sorry for me, or did he really like me?
So I asked. "Are you feeling sorry for me because I'll be dead in a month without ever dating?" "Is that why you're doing that?" But the answer I got was something I never expected.
"I'm not asking you to date me because I feel sorry for you. I'm just curious about you, Kim Yeo-ju. Okay."
My 30-day diary also began with the start of my first love affair, which lasted a month, due to an unexpected connection.
..........
Every day, every minute, every second counted. Yeo-ju spent every moment with Jeong-guk. As a result, their relationship was distinctly different from that of other ordinary couples.
"Why have you been staring at me since earlier?"
"Because it's pretty"
"Oh, no.../// How can you say something like that so casually..."
Why, I was just being honest.The heroine's face flushed with heat, as if someone had set it on fire. For her, this was her first love, Jungkook's every action and word thrilled her like crazy. And Jungkook, a love expert, found her simply adorable. He'd seen many women like her, but this was the first time he'd seen someone whose emotions were so clearly expressed in her face and tone of voice.
"Give me your hand"
When Jungkook asked for her hand, the woman thoughtlessly reached out and placed a colorful ring on his finger. Trapped in the hospital, Jungkook had nothing but a few pennies he'd saved to go to a PC room. Desperate to do something for her, he desperately begged a nurse to take him to the nearest supermarket. There, what caught his eye was a 500 won ring.
The female protagonist, who had received the silver ring, had an unreadable expression on her face. Could it be that she didn't like it? Jeongguk, who regretted buying the gemstone ring, gently took her hand. She lifted her head from her stare at the floor. Her eyes were red.
"Uh, don't you like it...?"
"........."
"N, should I buy something else?"
It was only a moment before Yeo-ju was embraced by Jeong-guk, who was fidgeting and at a loss. Without a word, Yeo-ju, who had burrowed into Jeong-guk's embrace, quietly sobbed. It was Jeong-guk who was taken aback by Yeo-ju's weeping.
"Thank you... I love it so much."
"It's the first time someone has given me a gift for no reason."
"........"
Yeoju, always alone, had few friends. The only gifts she received were birthday presents. The close friends around her would give each other gifts even on non-birthdays, but Yeoju had no such close friends, so she'd never received an unsolicited gift. Perhaps that's why she was so deeply moved by the 500 won ring Jungkook gave her.
"I'm glad you like it."
"I'll give you a prettier one later."
"No. This is too pretty."
In fact, Jungkook was the youngest son of a fairly wealthy family. Perhaps because he always had everything, he worried that the female protagonist might dislike his 500 won ring. If he'd known this would happen, he should have saved up a bit more.
However, contrary to his own thoughts, he saw the female protagonist happy with a 500 won ring, and realized that the feeling was more important than the price.
.....
The duration of their relationship was extremely short, like a fixed-term contract relationship, so on the first week of dating, Jungkook decided to do something special for Yeoju after much thought.
"What's wrong with you today?"
"No, no...! Nothing happened."
"Why is someone who has nothing to do staring at my face?"
What's on my face?Why do you look so strange today... Why do you keep staring at me... Jeongguk keeps staring at me, and I feel like hiding my burning face.
"Oh, no. I didn't ask anything. I just wanted to see."
"........///////"
Again, the female protagonist, who stole people's hearts while feeling nothing herself, felt wronged. Even without saying a word, it was obvious that countless women had cried. Well, living with that face would be worth it. She thought it would be nice to live with a face like Jeongguk's. What brought the female protagonist, lost in thought for a moment, back to her senses was the soft sensation of her cheek against his.
A week into their relationship, what Jungkook wanted to give Yeoju was a cheek kiss. That meant his lips were immediately touching Yeoju's cheek. The sudden, unexpected kiss left Yeoju frozen, as if she were playing tag. Jungkook, who had just pulled away, couldn't calm his heart, which was pounding like crazy.
He'd kissed countless women while dating, but never had his heart raced like this. A single kiss on the cheek made his heart race. Only then did Jeongguk realize for sure. Ah, I really do like Kim Yeo-joo. It was the first time in his 18th year that he felt love.
....
Feeling a slight heartache since morning, Yeo-ju swallowed the two painkillers prescribed by her doctor along with water. Accustomed to being alone for so long, she had never paid attention to her own aches and pains. But now that Jeong-guk was here, she didn't want to be a burden. She wanted to endure, hold on, and hold on until the very end.
Jungkook, who visits her hospital room first every day, wants to be the first to visit her today, so she drags the ringer and is about to open the door to Jungkook's hospital room when she hears a phone call and stops moving.
"Just do whatever you want"
"@&$(%%(@*$*%"
"What do you need to pack? You don't have to pack anything."
"$*%*@(%*%*#*@#*$*"
"When did I ever celebrate my birthday? Don't come and hang up."
She couldn't hear a word the other person said, but she clearly heard what Jungkook said. If Yeoju understood correctly, today was Jungkook's birthday. A birthday that only came once a year. For Yeoju, who always celebrated her birthday without fail, Jungkook's statement that he didn't celebrate his birthday was quite shocking.
Before Jungkook left, Yeo-ju, who had returned to the hospital room with the IV drip in hand, agonized over how to throw Jungkook an unforgettable birthday party. But the biggest problem now was that this was a hospital, and figuring out how to prepare for a birthday party was a major hurdle. After much deliberation, Yeo-ju finally planned Jungkook's birthday party.
Three hours later, Jungkook, who hadn't seen Yeoju because she was receiving treatment, sat in her hospital room, longing to see her again. The door opened in the quiet room. Jungkook, thinking it was Yeoju, went out to meet her barefoot. Contrary to his expectations, it wasn't Yeoju, but her attending nurse.
"Is Yeoju's treatment not over yet?"
"Hey, I went to your hospital room because I wanted to see you."
"Oh, really? Thank you."
The nurse's words that she had gone to his hospital room to see him as soon as his treatment was over made Jungkook's lips twitch. He wanted to see Yeoju quickly, hold her in his arms, and whisper thank you for all the hard work she did in treating him. He ran towards her. Arriving at his hospital room, Jungkook opened the door without hesitation. What caught his eye, searching for Yeoju, was Yeoju in a pure white dress. He was mesmerized by her, who looked like an angel descending from heaven.
"Jungkook... Am I really weird...?"
"Oh, no...! You're so pretty..."
"I'm glad it's not weird."
Jungkook, can you light a candle with me? It's my first time.Yeo-ju, who was throwing a birthday party for someone for the first time, was clumsy and couldn't even light the candles on the cake. Jungkook helped her light the candles without knowing what the cake meant. Yeo-ju finally lit the candles, lifted the cake, and began to sing "Happy Birthday." Only then did Jungkook realize that the cake was meant for him and couldn't hold back the tears that welled up in his eyes. He barely managed to calm his trembling lips and blew out the candles when he heard Yeo-ju, who was smiling brightly, wish him a happy birthday.
"How did you know today was my birthday..."
"How did you find out? I'm glad I found out. You weren't going to tell me, were you?"
"To be honest, that's true. I figured there was no need to mention my birthday since I don't even remember it anyway."
"No matter what, I'm your girlfriend, so you should have told me."
What a shame. If I had found out later, I would have been really upset with you. I almost couldn't celebrate your birthday, which was both your first and last.The first and the last. Those words pierced Jeongguk's heart like a nail.
".....Thank you. Thank you so much, my lady."
It's an unforgettable birthday present in my life.
"I haven't given you a birthday present yet?"
"uh?"
Jungkook let out a slightly flustered tone at the female protagonist's statement that she hadn't given him his birthday present yet. She approached him, step by step, until he was right in front of her. She wrapped her arms around his neck, gently pulled him closer, and covered his lips with hers. After that, the two of them remained entangled in each other for a long time.
.....
As each day passed and autumn deepened, Yeoju, who had been happy with every moment she spent with Jeongguk, spent every moment with him from morning until bedtime, unable to write in her diary for a week. She was so happy she wished this moment would never end.
"Huh, huh... J, Jungkook... Where are you... going...?"
"Are you having a hard time? Let's rest a bit and then go."
Because you shouldn't push yourself too hard.Jeong-guk, who had been in charge of Yeo-ju's nurse since morning, took Yeo-ju to a park slightly away from the hospital. Yeo-ju simply followed Jeong-guk without question.
A few days after Jungkook's birthday, the cast was completely removed, and he was able to use both arms with ease. He was officially discharged from the hospital, but he didn't want to go home. He just wanted to stay by Yeoju's side like this.
After walking like that for a few minutes, the leaves that had been full of green began to gradually decrease and yellow sunflowers began to appear one by one.
"wow..."
The weather was slightly cloudy, but the sunflowers gazing at the sun sparkled in Yeoju's eyes. In fact, the reason Jungkook had brought her to this place was because she had been craving flowers for several days. Since there were no flowers blooming around the hospital, he searched and even asked the nurses on duty, and this was the place he had been searching for.
"good?"
"Yeah! I love it. It's so pretty."
"Yeah. It's really pretty."
Jungkook swallowed the words, "You." He only looked at Yeoju, who was happily admiring the sunflowers. Like a sunflower gazing at the sun, Jungkook was Yeoju's own sunflower.
Jungkook captured Yeoju's appearance on camera, and as lunchtime approached, it was time to return to the hospital. As he walked back to the hospital, feeling regretful, Jungkook's grip on Yeoju loosened and she lost consciousness. Seeing Yeoju collapse, Jungkook, unfazed, carried her on his back and rushed to the hospital. The nurse in charge had told him that Yeoju's condition was heart disease, and that she could occasionally collapse like this. Perhaps because he had known this beforehand, he was able to remain calm.
.....
One day... The heroine only has 24 hours left. To be honest, it might not be 24 hours. But the pounding heart that tells her that the end is coming is only making her ache.The female protagonist's face is pale, but smiling brightly.Watching the heroine in such a state, Jeong-gook's heart burned black. All he could do was hold her hand. If he could, he would give her all his remaining life. If he could change fate, he would take her place in the terminal phase. But fate, unspoken as it was, held no power over Jeong-gook.
The female protagonist, who felt that she did not have much time left, hugged Jeong-guk and said her last words to him in a trembling voice.
"Jungkook... If I could... go back to a part of my life... Which point would I go back to...?"
"Well...? Shouldn't we go to the point where we regret the most?"
"You're right... I'm going back to before I met you."
I regret meeting you...Yeo-ju regretted the day she first met Jung-guk. If only she hadn't approached him that day. If only she hadn't created a relationship that would only last a month. If only she hadn't worried about Jung-guk being left alone. As the time she spent with Jung-guk gradually dwindled, Yeo-ju realized how selfish she had been. She hadn't considered the hardships Jung-guk would suffer if she left him alone. She was only thinking about her one month.
"I know you're being so harsh to deliberately break my heart. If that makes you feel better, then do whatever it takes for me. You can hate me, too."
"......... You.. Really..."
How could I hate you... you idiot. Unable to utter the words, the heroine swallowed them back and held back the tears that threatened to flow. She felt like if she cried here, it would truly be the end.
"Jeong-Guk... Oh... Do you know what day it is today...?"
"I don't know"
"Today is... September 23rd, the autumn equinox. The nights are long... and it's the time of year..."
Sadly, the tightness in her heart grew more intense, and her once steady breathing quickened. Unable to control the trembling of her hands, the heroine finally placed her hand on Jeong-guk's cheek, close yet distant, and uttered what would truly be her last words.
"J,Jungkook... I have a... last... wish... will you... listen to it...?"
".........." ((Nod
"N,forget all the moments you spent with me..."
You must be happy... I loved you... Jungkook...As the woman's hand sank limply to the floor, Jeongguk cried out her name, repeating it over and over again. His heartbreaking, painful cries continued for a very long time...
....
After the funeral, where she became a star, Jungkook quietly sobbed in the hospital room where Yeoju had been, holding Yeoju's portrait in his arms. Yeoju's attending nurse approached him and handed him Yeoju's diary.
"The heroine gave me this diary the day before she left. She asked me to burn it later."
"............"
"I told you never to give it to me, but I feel like I have to."
Jungkook held Yeoju's diary in his hand. Despite being with Yeoju for a month, Jungkook had no idea she kept a diary. Flipping through the pages with trembling hands, Jungkook meticulously read each entry she had written. It contained all the happy memories of the two of them. He read each page, and finally, he reached the last remaining diary entry.
After reading the heroine's last letter, Jeong-guk hugged the diary and cried until the moonlight began to shine into the hospital room...
.....
September 23, 2028, 7 years later.
"Hey, how are you? I'm doing just as you said. But I still can't meet anyone else. It's still early, and the sun has already set? It's the seventh night since you left, and it's getting longer. I think of you usually, but on September 23rd, the day you left, when the nights were getting longer, I think of you even more. If you were by my side, you would have shone brightly... I miss you... Hey, hey."
Just wait a minute... I'll be there for you soon.
"Around 7:00 PM on September 23rd, a man in his 20s was found dead in a cemetery..."
*Narcolepsy is a type of sleep disorder that has four characteristic symptoms: narcolepsy (excessive daytime sleepiness despite sufficient nighttime sleep), cataplexy (feeling weak when emotionally excited), hallucinations during sleep, and sleep paralysis (feeling like a paralyzed person is paralyzed).