I look at you like I look at a flower
ยฉ 2022 BTS My Love All right reserved.*This article is a WORTH IT COMPANY crew mission
This is an ongoing article.
"I only saw hope." Dr. Kang Young-woo's writing, which transformed disability into a blessing, was a source of strength for me, suffering from a rare disease that, while not a disability itself, can be perceived as such by others. This rare disease, with only 1,900,000 known cases worldwide, is called Flower Syndrome. Symptoms include treating flowers as if they were living beings, and losing the ability to distinguish between them and others. While not everyone is affected this way, it occasionally affects a few, and the reason for its specificity remains unknown. The exact cause of this disease is unknown, and there is no cure. It's the one secret I, seemingly normal to others, wish to keep hidden forever.
Not everyone who cares for flowers is like this, but some, in conversation, cherish them as if they were family, as if they were lovers. They treat flowers as if they were living, breathing people. To others, they simply appear to be people who genuinely adore flowers, and no one finds this strange. But if flowers were alive and spoke, would you believe them? Even now, at this very moment, they are speaking to me. They are telling me they're not feeling well. They're indirectly informing me that they're sick.
"Your complexion doesn't look very good. I'll give you some supplements."
Customers who come to buy flowers glance at me from the corner of their eyes, but I don't pay any attention. This kind of thing has become so familiar to me now.
My eyes and ears are constantly busy. As a florist, my surroundings are always filled with flowers, leaving me with no moment of peace, and I'm constantly on the move. Thirsty, bored, wanting to play... there were so many things I wanted from myself. It might have been a hassle, but I filled that annoyance with the word "love."
The sun is slowly setting, the roads are jam-packed on the way home from work, the silence is urging me to hurry home, and the flowers are raising their voices in protest at the noise. Just when I'm about to lose my mind, a doorbell rings, signaling the arrival of a guest.
"Sir, can I have a glass of water?"
"Lady. I heard you can't come today because something urgent came up?"
"I missed you, oppa, so I quickly took care of something urgent and came back."
Did I do well?It hurt not to see your beautiful face, smiling brightly at me. My irreplaceable one, Han Yeo-ju, who made me think, 'If I let this woman go, I'll regret it for the rest of my life.' Four years have already passed since we started our sweet, honey-like romance. From her clear eyes like a lake, her high nose, her pink lips, and her flawless skin, there was nothing about her that wasn't beautiful.
At some point, her appearance began to change little by little, like a flower, and soon, the girl I loved took on the appearance of a lotus flower.
I cherish all flowers, but the one I cherish and love the most is the lotus. It grows in the mud, yet blooms so pure and cleanly, and I find it incredibly beautiful.The lotus flower that blooms in the pond lives in the mud, but is not stained by the mud's dirt."This sentence from the Agama Sutra was truly impressive. Now, I could only gaze at her, who appeared as a lotus flower.
"Brother, is there anything different about me today?"
"Pretty. Always in my eyes."
"Tch... Oppa always gives such vague answers."
You grumbled that I hadn't given you a definitive answer to your question, but I couldn't give you any. To begin with, you didn't even know I had a rare disease called Flower Syndrome. I didn't want the person I loved most to know about my flaws. I was afraid that if they found out, they'd freak out and run away from me. They'd leave me. I was afraid. I wanted to hide it for as long as I could, and if they didn't find out, I wanted to keep them from knowing forever.
Every time you ask me this question, I vividly recall the day I first met you. Four years ago, as spring was approaching, I was delivering flowers to a university graduation ceremony, and there I first met Yeoju, a lotus-like woman. Amidst the throng of students taking commemorative photos with their families to celebrate the graduation, there stood a female student, standing alone, empty, watching everyone smile happily. There was not a single person beside her to congratulate her on her graduation, not a single person to share her smile. After watching her for a while, I approached her with a bouquet of lilacs I had carefully tied, hoping they might sell. Without a moment's hesitation, I placed the bouquet in her arms and said what she probably wanted to hear.
"Congratulations on your graduation."
"Uh... I didn't order those flowers..."
"This is a gift that suits you well."
You looked flustered, unexpectedly receiving flowers from a stranger. Even now, I can't quite understand myself back then. What courage did I have to give flowers to a stranger? How could I have blurted out such an awkward phrase so casually? I still don't understand, but I can't help but think my actions back then were the right ones. Because that incident became the link between you and me.
You smiled faintly as you received the flowers from me. Though your smile wasn't a bright one, it seemed genuinely happy. I felt reluctant to leave like this, thinking I should at least ask for your number. But I had no choice but to give up, fearing you might think I gave you the flowers just to get your number. Just as I was about to give up and turn away, I heard your voice calling out to me.
"excuse me..."
"Could you please give me your phone number?"
"Oh, just a moment."
I reached into my jacket pocket and found a custom-made business card I'd recently received. When I reached out to hand it to you, your hand felt anything but gentle. As our hands brushed away, I hoped our connection would be renewed, and so our brief but meaningful first meeting passed.
For the next week, I waited, hoping you'd contact me first after taking my business card. Contrary to my expectations, I received no response. Just as I was beginning to think our meeting was just a fleeting moment, you walked into the flower shop, looking much brighter and more cheerful than the day I first saw you.
"hello."
"Uh...! Hello."
"Do you remember me?"
"sure."
How could I not remember? I was waiting for your call. I couldn't bring myself to say more, so I swallowed it back. It seemed I couldn't hide my joy at your arrival.
"Could you recommend some flowers that I can grow at home? Scented flowers are even better."
"Hmm... it smells good..."
"Moth orchidHow about it? It has a sweet and sour scent, so I think you'll like it."
I carefully lifted and showed the orchid that I had placed in a well-ventilated area with moderate sunlight.
"Aren't the pink petals really pretty? It's a charming flower with a nice fragrance and pretty flowers."
"It's really pretty...! The scent is just what I wanted."
You smiled with satisfaction and paid for the flowers I'd picked out for you. From that day on, you came every day at the same lunchtime, buying flowers for various reasons. And you always came with something in your hand. One day, a packed lunch, another day, dessert, another day, fruit. I think I gained a lot of weight eating what you brought. You probably don't know. That I paid you half price for the flowers, that I always told the flowers you bought me not to get sick. You'll never know.
As you continued to visit the flower shop, at some point, your appearance began to slowly transform into a lotus flower. It didn't happen overnight, but gradually. So, after you could no longer see your true form, I began asking the flowers how they looked today. Even if I couldn't see you, you would always be beautiful.
"What are you thinking, Oppa?"
"Your thoughts."
"Oh, what is it~ You miss me so much that you're thinking about me even though I'm right here in front of you?"
"Yeah. I miss you so much, I miss you, heroine."
I don't know how long it will last,
Today too, I look at you like I look at a flower.
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Lotus flower language - clean heart, you are beautiful.
Although the female protagonist has lived a difficult life on her own, Seok-jin came to see her as a lotus flower, meaning that even though she had endured all kinds of hardships, she was still beautiful.
The flower language of the Phalaenopsis is that happiness will come flying in.
For Seokjin, the female protagonist is his happiness.
Seokjin's last words, "I miss you even though I'm looking at you," can be interpreted as him missing you because he's looking at you but can't see your true self.