Ethics and Love Apology
February 24, 2019
Hello, let me start by saying hello. My name is Yunlidasarang, and I was writing here until a few days ago.
This is an apology, so I apologize for my wrongdoing, right? I'll now explain the mistakes I've made, who I've harmed, how I'm reflecting on my actions, and explain my plans going forward.
First, let me explain where, when, and what I did wrong. About two days ago, I was in a chatroom with some of the anti-fans I met at the photocard event, and I used a tone I hadn't used before because something had upset me. Naturally, those who saw my message at the time thought it was strange and told me to come back. Still, I continued to use that tone and continued the conversation. No one wants to keep holding on to something they don't want to do or see. Naturally, they were tired of my behavior and showed their displeasure. I should have noticed it then. I didn't and continued my behavior, and about halfway through, I felt better. But I kept going, and I remember their reactions at the time being angry. Only then did I realize it, so I sent them a photo with a rough note and repeated the process. And then I told them the truth. After a while, I felt better, and I told them that my actions from halfway through were lies. They became angry when I heard that, and I, who wasn't tactful, only then realized it. I had done things that could have caused harm, and these people were extremely disappointed in me for what I had done. I was terrified of the situation at the time, so I immediately left the chatroom and all the open chatrooms. I thought the situation was resolved then. But then I was invited back, and I had to deal with their anger. Looking back, it seems obvious, but at the time, I hated the situation, but my foolish desire to say what I needed to say only made things worse. In the chatroom I was invited back to, I wrote down what I was thinking, without thinking about how it would come back to me. And the only things they responded to were a steady stream of angry comments, and I continued to respond. The more we talked, the more animosity grew. Eventually, they told me they didn't want to talk to me anymore and told me to do whatever I wanted, so I just left the chatroom without thinking. I then relayed this information to people around me. There's the person I told the other day, and there's the person I told the other a day later. First of all, on the day of the incident, I was in a very bad mood. I was at fault, but I wondered if my mistake had really gotten this bad, so I distorted the truth. Since I was only telling distorted truths and didn't know the details of the incident, she naturally believed my story. At that time, I felt it was okay to talk to her, even though it was difficult, and I continued the conversation. A day later, I didn't tell the person I spoke to about the situation. However, when I checked the chatroom after my schedule, her response was the complete opposite, and she pointed out that it was my fault. At the time, I hadn't fully gotten over this, so I just said something and left the chatroom. I relayed my thoughts to another acquaintance. I asked her if she was okay with being criticized, and when she said she was, I wrote down my thoughts of the day and sent it to her. She relayed my thoughts on the message board. After hearing that the victims had left comments, I reinstalled the photocard I had deleted the night before, wrote a comment, and am writing this apology.
Second, I'm reflecting on my actions and will explain what I will do going forward. As I write this apology, I've been reflecting on the past and have felt thoughts and emotions I hadn't thought of before. And I'd like to share my plans for the future. With this apology, I will end my photocards. I have committed a sin, and I believe there will be more people who criticize me than those who support me, so I feel I can't continue doing photocards.
And to those who have known me and opposed me, I want to express my gratitude and apologies. Expressing my feelings through writing like this might not have been effective, and I understand that some people might feel differently. I believed I would have no regrets after being here for about a year, but it seems I've actually shot myself in the foot with an axe. Just as you can't put spilled water back in, I can't undo my actions. Therefore, I hope this apology conveys at least a little of my sincerity to those I've harmed, and while it won't completely erase all the ill feelings, I hope it will at least slightly ease them. Honestly, I feel like I'm dreaming, and I'm afraid I'll be criticized for writing this. Wounds in the heart don't easily heal, so how can these deep-seated wounds be healed by a single word? Once again, I sincerely bow my head in apology for my mistakes. And thank you for being with me all this time. I'm reflecting on what happened, deeply reflecting on my mistakes, and this incident has given me a chance to rethink my future actions. I've realized once again why I need to be considerate of others and what kind of person I truly am to others. While the criticism I received from those who had nothing to do with this incident was hurtful, I consider it nothing compared to the mistakes I made. To those who have read my apology, I hope you won't curse me like that. I, Yunhyeoldasarang, sincerely want to convey my sincere remorse to the seven people affected by this incident. And I hope you understand that my repetition of similar words reflects my deepest regret. I've always requested apologies, but this is the first time I've personally written one this lengthy. Now that I realize how much thought goes into writing an apology, I'm no longer asking for one. I've been grateful to so many people, but I feel deeply sorry for hurting so many people with my short-sighted thoughts.
This is Yunlidasarang, who has been writing apologies so far.
I've exceeded the 3,000 characters you mentioned, and I believe my thoughts and feelings have been adequately captured in this piece.