14 | Heart
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Since then, we have refrained from private meetings and only met professionally. Of course, I dwell on the mistake of that day every day. I know that realizing it doesn't change anything, though.
Although I still have feelings for Jungkook, who delivered a sharp rebuke to me, I couldn't let my personal feelings show in a professional setting. This was especially true since I had missed the opportunity to develop a good relationship with him. Jungkook seemed uncomfortable around me. He avoided making eye contact and said exactly what needed to be said before ending the conversation.
Normally, it was my routine to ask out on a casual date after finishing official business regarding Namjoon, but now Mr. Jungkook was in a hurry to pack his bags and leave on his own. Anyone could tell. That man felt uncomfortable around me.
I wanted to improve our awkward relationship. However, the reality was that things didn't go according to my wishes. My ex-boyfriend trapped me in a prison of trauma, and while Jungkook taught me, my self-esteem plummeted as I watched myself make no progress.
Seeing that Jungkook, who always protected me and whom I relied on the most, has also turned his heart away from me just like Namjoon has left a deeper and more bitter wound. There is no wound more painful than receiving the same wound again on top of an existing one. Perhaps my heart is dead, pierced through by the arrows of words.
Humans live while dying, and die while living.