This story is fiction

/

I had a boyfriend I dated for 8 years, someone I loved fiercely, devoting my youth to him

There were crisis moments, but I thought it would last forever. While we were setting a wedding date and making wedding preparations

we broke off the engagement. I suspected the betrayal of the boyfriend I had trusted, but facing it like this

was devastating. I grabbed him and begged, but what came back was a sharp knife stabbed into my heart

Then he, his eyes wavering, knelt down in front of me. For 2 years, behind my back, he had been

seeing another woman, and she was pregnant. My legs gave out, and I collapsed right there

and stared at him with blank, unfocused eyes. With both you and that woman in front of me, you looked so helpless

helpless, like, "Sorry," you bastard. Is this what you do to me? I barely managed to

hold myself together, wiped away my tears, stood up, bit my lip, and ran without looking back. Behind me, I could hear

his voice, but I ignored it. At this rate, I’d rather die. Without him, who had been my everything,

there was no meaning to living. How could you do this to me? There must have been a crack somewhere,

because as I ran, my foot caught and I fell onto the cold cement floor. I burst into tears right there.

I was definitely not crying because it hurt. I lifted my head to see who had offered his hand to me while I was crying

"Yeojuyah.."

" ...Choi Soobin?"

" Oh, your palms are all scraped up"

Seeing Soobin gently brushing the dirt off my scraped palms with concerned eyes made my emotions spill over even more, and I bawled in his arms. He softly rubbed my back and waited as I cried for a long time

until I managed to pull myself together and hurried out of Soobin's arms. Ugh, why did it have to

be Choi Soobin?

" Finished crying?"

" (nod nod) But why are you here?"

" Hmm, I was on my way home, so weren't you meeting Yeonjun today?"

" ... "

" It's cold. Let's go home. I'll walk you back"

When Soobin said his name, I wiped away the tears coming again.

Holding back my tears, I followed Soobin. Riding the bus together for the first time in a while, it reminded me of high school

Soobin and I, crammed into the back seats. He didn't ask me why

I was crying, but he'd find out soon enough that I had broken off my engagement..

I leaned against Soobin's shoulder and closed my eyes

"Get some sleep. I'll wake you when we get there"

Soobin, you're such a warm person. Even though I never accepted your confession,

you always treated me the same as ever. Even when you and Yeonjun fought and said you'd break up or not,

you worried about me and put up with all my grumbling. Thinking about it, I was really

a terrible woman. Because of me.. you've only waited for me, so until now you've never loved anyone else

you never even looked at other women. I'm sorry, Soobin. Soobin saw me home to the front of my house and

as I watched you go back saying to forget all the bad things, I just felt sorry that because of me you

couldn't enjoy your youth. You must have hurt as much as I did

Yeah, I know this is something I shouldn't do to you too.. Soobin, forget me

I'm not that kind of nice girl. I hope you meet a good woman and have a wonderful love

/

How can I be okay after loving someone for 8 years..? I'm just pretending to be okay..

My daily life obviously started falling apart little by little. The road we used to walk together, the places we used to go together,

your scent is all over this house too, so how am I supposed to erase you? There's nowhere you aren't

his absence was so huge. When I had blank, empty eyes, my tears streamed every day regardless of

my chair, and my unfocused eyes grew drier and drier. I started going out

less than I stayed home. I think I locked myself in my room and kept crying

They say everything fades with time, but 8 years was by no means a short time.

I long ago forgot what day of the week it is, what month it is, and even the season. Even so,

Choi Yeonjun, I miss you so much I’m going crazy. Maybe crying myself to sleep became a habit

because I couldn't fall asleep sober. Whenever I did fall asleep by chance, I just didn't want to open my eyes

I felt sick from the severe stomach burning and opened my eyes, and instead of my dark room, there was a white ceiling; it was

a hospital. I saw my mom crying in front of me. What happened to me..

I clearly fell asleep crying.. Looking more closely, there was an IV needle in the back of my hand

" ..M-mom?"

" Are you awake? Yeojuyah, why did you do that? Why! How is Mom supposed to live without you?"

" Why did I do what? I couldn't sleep so I took a sleeping pill.."

I remembered it. The memory of swallowing dozens of prescribed sleeping pills.. How did I end up in the hospital..?

"Even so, why did you take so many sleeping pills? If it hadn't been for Soobin

it could have been really bad. Soobin came over because you weren't answering, and
he said there was no movement at all, like you were dead. There were sleeping pills next to you, too
Aigoo, if I had known this would happen, Mom should have stayed by your side"
" Soobin?"

" Yeah, Soobin is the one who saved you. And look at you—skin and bones!

They did a gastroscopy and found no food at all. After the tests, they said
it was malnutrition. How have you been living all this time? You haven't even been going to work
what on earth were you planning to do?"
" ...."

" Let's think of it as he wasn't your fate

please, let's not have bad thoughts, Yeojuyah, okay?"
How am I supposed to do that? We dated for 8 years.. Mom tightly held my trembling hand

Right, I remembered. I had swallowed all the sleeping pills because I wanted to sleep forever. It felt hollow

If I die, Yeonjun will suffer, and then Soobin came in at that moment, and without meaning to

I got angry. Mom went out to let us talk, and Soobin, his expression dark, asked if I was okay,

but without answering, I pulled the blanket over me and lay down

" Yeojuyah.."

" ...."

" Yeojuyah, I was scared you'd do something bad to yourself. A world without you

I don't even want to think about it. So just let me stay by your side, okay?"
" ...."

Those words hurt my heart so much. What am I to him that he's begging me like that?

Stupid Choi Soobin, what am I supposed to do with you? I've always acted coldly, so what am I supposed to do

I shouldn't be leaning on you. Mom was busy with the shop and couldn't stay long, and

Soobin stayed by my side until I was discharged instead of Mom. I regained my composure and two days later

I was discharged. After completing the discharge procedures, Soobin put my bag in the car trunk, then opened the

front door and quietly followed his words when he said to get in. As soon as I sat down, of course

he fastened my seatbelt for me, and the car started. On the way home, as if we'd made a promise

neither of us said a word

/

3 days earlier

When Yeoju hadn't been reachable for several days, Soobin grew anxious. It was strange that she kept not answering the phone

Even while working, his mind was completely on Yeoju. The moment he got off work, he headed to Yeoju's place

faster than ever before. His fingertips trembled as he entered the door password and hurriedly called for Yeoju,

but it was quiet. He checked the bathroom too, and she wasn't in the dark living room either

and he grew even more uneasy. When he finally opened the bedroom door, Soobin's heart sank all the way

down. He saw Yeoju lying on the floor instead of on the bed, and beside her was a bottle of sleeping pills and

scattered pills. There were dried tear tracks at the corners of Yeoju's eyes, her face without a trace of color,

and no matter how much he called, there was no response. Soobin carried the limp Yeoju and

he doesn't even know what state of mind he was in when he took her to the hospital. Even though it was definitely the middle of winter,

Soobin, sweating from running while carrying Yeoju, watched as she lay on the ER bed barely

breathing, only a faint thread of breath left. Luckily, the dangerous moment had passed, but he had been terrified she might

have died. Sitting beside Yeoju, who was lying in the bed, he rubbed his dry face. He brought her colorless,

frail hand to his cheek. Her hand was icy cold.

It seemed like something had happened with Yeonjun, but she simply wouldn't tell him. Then

he learned from Yeoju's mother that it was because of the broken engagement with Yeonjun, and feeling betrayed, he became even

more hurt. I promised not to make her cry, and I said I'd make her happy for life, didn't I?

He blamed himself for sending Yeoju to Yeonjun. Soobin's fists were slowly tightening

The irresponsible me, bringing out a new story without even finishing the last one 🥲

I want to write a short story, but my brain just refuses to produce a short one

I still need to finish the members' first-love episodes too, but when am I supposed to write them 🤣"]}]} }] }]}]}]}]}]}]}
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