Flashback 7years ago
Running away again from my misery house with a sharp blade towards the peaceful and quite place to calm me down and cries my soul out again. There, I stand there crying holding the blades towards my wrist, fresh red blood gush out within no time, but it doesn't hurt, the ache in my heart hurts ten times.. Atleast the feelings of the blood rushing out makes me calm myself, I want to cut more, rip the veins and end it, but then I heard some noise behind me, in which I never though people would be there. I found a little boy weeping with his dirty hands indicating he had fall. Tears stained on his face makes me soft, I went to him and help him up asking him, 'What are you doing here? What happened?' He wipes his tears and answered me, 'Noona, I was here trying to dance like them but I fall'he said pointing a smart phone near him.The way he pouts and talks was so cute that I giggled making him pout more. I brush the dirt off him and said, 'Don't cry little man, you'll get it soon, to be success you need to fall first, but don't stay fallen, wake up and learn from the mistakes' ... Thinking about it, it's funny, I'm here trying to take my pain away yet I'm helping other people, well I can't even stand for myself yet I tell others what they should do. The boy nod his head as I try to change the topic... 'What were you watching by the way?' He showed me the smart phone and there was a live show of a boygroup dancing and singing. The song they've sing made me think 'Should I give it a little more effort?'. It was that time, the time I sometimes wish I could go back and never look, the times that I sometimes feels so save thinking about it. I saw him for the first time and fall for him right away which I break the most Forbidden Rules that a fan should never did i.e *Do not fall in love with you Idol*.
End of Flashback
Here I'm still sitting and thinking how long with my life last till he would know me.. Yes, I'm a fan, a fan of the biggest boy group BTS. I'm one of the most popular fandom Army.. I am so happy to be one, I did everything to support my idols, went to concert, fan sign, buying merch, having a collection of their albums. Is it too much, no not really, I want everything where his name is labelled. I thought that I was perfect for him and that I could married him. Am I crazy? Well maybe, maybe too much crazy for him. It might sound creepy but I fall in love for a boy, a boy named Jeon Jeongguk. Well he is the most perfect guy ever, I was only 14years back then but now I'm already 22. He makes me the happiest girl that ever lived. There wouldn't be once in a day where I never thought of him, everything I do and everything I did always makes me think 'Will Jungkook choose this or this?' I know I'm being delusional and crazy but it was the only things that makes me keep out of my misery world. But now I'm a bit older and understand that I should went out of my fantasy and delusional world. I need to face the reality.. the reality that I've been hiding away through BTS.. Well to be honest, through BTS the world is peaceful and have our own galaxy. In that galaxy we have family who always trust and gives us support whenever we need. The only family that we ever steamed of. They made us our own YOUniverse which was peaceful and everything was perfect. But reality is different, people are worst outside, they don't care about others. The reality is harsh and selfish, thinking about it, it was already 5pm and I've got to get home before being scolded.
I am here with the people whom I called family all the time again, yet I smiled outside no one sees me dying inside. The painful words they spit out on me never stops yet I'm still smiling towards them like they are my true happiness.It never stops hurting, but I can tolerate it knowing that there are 7people out there who cares. The 7angel, my one and only hope of living and the live of my life Jeongguk.
Days had passed
Working with a very excited soul, a co-worker of mine suddenly hit on my head and I pout.
Jena: Aren't you a little bit over excited about just their albums?
You: (pout transforming into smirk I snapped back) Aren't you the one who wish to see the sexiness of Kim Taehyung
Jena: (she looked at me with a wide shocked on her face and hit me on the back she laughed) Are you going to the secret fan meet?
You: (my smile faded) I'm not sure, I wanted to but isn't the ticket too costly?
Jena: It's a 1 out of 100% chance, that's why we can try it.. plus it wouldn't be so hard for us right.. thinking you might know what the great Jeongguk's wear for his underwear (she said teasingly)
You: Y-Yeah
Jena: Okay I surrender... Forget it, I'll get the ticket for you and you'll treat me to dinner. How's that sound?
You: Well, okay.. I have to prepare some gifts for them then...
I smiled at her continuing my work... Well we call it secret fan meet because of the covid19 but it is actually not a secret but I just don't want to miss out again.. Last time when they have the fanmeet on the album Persona I wasnt able to join and now it's been so long... I have to go no matter what...
4days later
Now I stand here with all the gifts and my albums here with around 30-60 fans.. I know it was a small gathering, due to the covid19 but guess what this still feels like a dream, even though I often went to their fan sign... Today I'm going to see them again, my angels, and my love, there he is standing with his other things, I can't take my eyes off him, the way he smile just forced a smile on my face unknowingly, could he be real? He looks like a Goddess, his looks are ethereal and gorgeous. He never failed to makes me in awe. I feel butterflies on my stomach, OMG, what did he do to me?. Time flies fast and I didn't know we were supposed to be already going for the sign....
Jena: Y/N??? Y/N ?? EARTH TO Y/N???
Thanks to Jena, for she calls me out that loud, everyone watch me and I was red as tomato.
Jena: WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DAYDREAMING FOR?
You: Shut it Jen...It's embarrassing
Right when I said that we had the eye contact, yes I have the eye contact with the great Jeon.. and he smiled at me 'What the Fuck' I slapped myself in my mind...
Jena: Y/n stop daydreaming, it's almost our turn
She snapped again and I walked from there taking the things I brought for them.
ㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡ To be continuedㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡ