“So, everyone knows that next week is the school trip, right?”
" yes~ "
"Get the consent form.."
" .. under "
"Please show me clearly as there will be additional costs involved."
" yes~! "
"Okay, see you all tomorrow!"
Whenever this happened, I would feel truly resentful of my situation. Even after years, these moments never got old, and I was always miserable.
I was about to quickly tear up the consent form that I couldn't even get anyway.
at that time,
widely,
“Wh..what are you doing?!”
" .. what "
"Why are you tearing that up? Aren't you going?"
“..Do you think I can go if I want to?”
" ah.. "
"You agree right away. That's my situation right now."
“ … ”
“I can’t go to something like this.”
It was a contradiction. He said it as if it were nothing, but I couldn't go. It wasn't that I wasn't going, it was that I couldn't go.
It was just what little pride I had left. Even that had long since been depleted.
at that time,
Swish,
“You can go.”
" what? "
“Come with me”
“..you said I was sympathetic to that..j”
"I can't pay all that money either. You'd probably feel sorry for me and refuse to take it either."
” … “
"You should take on some of the burden. Do what you can, and I'll take care of the rest."
" .. why "
"Because I want to go with you. That's why I'm giving it to you, not out of consideration for you..."
“ … ”
“It’s purely my greed.”
“ … ”
Hearing that, it was funny how it sounded like it was okay to accept the child's offer. What I had thought was a pityful remark, what I had thought was selfish, was actually a lie.
For a moment, it really felt like I was being used by that child's greed, and I felt a weight lift off my heart.
And the places they had gone down were filled with excitement.
In the end, I didn't tear up the paper and just kept it on my desk. More carefully and cautiously than ever.
“What?! You’re going on a school trip?”
“That’s right~”
“I’m jealous.. I want to be a second year student soon too.”
“This time, I’m going to go to Yeoju and have fun together.”
“Is Yeoju-sister going too?! ”
“ ..((nod)) ”
“Ha.. I want to go too.”
Taehyun was a more sociable kid than I expected, and before I knew it, the three of us were chatting away without the manager knowing. Of course, it was just Taehyun and him talking, and I just listened.
“First graders who can’t go on the school trip, hurry up and go and practice the basics.”
"It's sad enough not to be able to go, but what about being discriminated against? I'm upset about this."
"We've decided to double the number of second-year students going on the school trip. What do you think? Want to join us?"
" .. no "
It's the funniest moment in a slightly more enjoyable daily life. Have I ever felt this comfortable with someone else?
After finishing the exercise, the kid and I decided to sit down at a convenience store and rest for a while.
“How much longer do I have to go?”
“.. 100,000 won”
“Are you sure you can afford 150,000 won?”
“Just ask them to pull a little bit of what you’ve saved up.”
“..Okay, then I’ll take 10.”
" .. thank you "
" uh? "
It was a sincere, unintentional remark. I was truly grateful, and it was one of those things I thought I'd never be able to do in my life.
I was so grateful that he put in so much effort even though it wasn't even his job, even though he knew it would be burdensome for him.
It was awkward because it was the first time I had said it, but that's why I couldn't help but be sincere.
“Wh..what is it”
“Wow.. Did I just hear thank you?!”
“..if you don’t like it, then withdraw it”
"No! Why?! I want to hear more."
“What… I want to hear more”
“..that was the best thing I’ve ever heard in my life.”
“ … ”
“Thank you too, for listening to my desires.”
“ … ”
“Huh.. Was I too serious?”
“..it was good”
" uh? "
“I like your greed.”
“That’s a relief.”
It was a truly pleasing desire. For a greedy person, it wasn't overly ambitious and didn't harm anyone.
It was a truly pure and kind desire. That's why I loved that desire, which was different from others.
After talking like that, we each headed to our own homes.
Squeak,
"I'm here, Dad."
"Oh, you're here?"
"What about food? Did you eat?"
"I ate what you made for me this morning."
"..good job hehe"
“Doesn’t our daughter want to go on a school trip?”
" uh? "
“I’ve never been there before.”
"Ah.. that"
Then, Dad reached out and opened the front drawer, handing me a bankbook and an envelope. It was the bankbook Mom had left behind, and it was Dad's most treasured possession.
Just because that bankbook is like my mom's, it's money I can never use.
“Why this...”
“I took a little, just a little bit”
" dad.. "
“Your mother would definitely have done this.”
“ … “
“You earn money for me when I’m sick, so how can I feel at ease if I’m the only one resting?”
” … “
“You too, rest well for those three days and come back.”
" .. Is that okay?"
" of course. "
"..Thank you, Dad"
That night, after finishing cleaning and going to my room, I saw my father's name written in crooked letters on the consent form.
As soon as I saw the name, tears started flowing out of my eyes and I cried quietly, afraid that my voice might wake my father.
The next day,
" excuse me.. "
" uh? "
"I don't need money"
"Huh? Why? You suddenly don't want to go? Why..?"
"That's not it.. "
” ..? “
"My dad gave it to me. I told him to go play."
".. Oh, thank goodness. I'm really grateful."
"Why do you like it so much?"
“My heart was pounding so hard just now because I thought you might say you weren’t going again.”
” … “
"So now I can go with a really relaxed mind?"
" ..((nod)) "
"Haha, that's really fortunate"
So we went on a school trip together. The destination of the trip was...
“Wow! It’s Jeju Island!”
“Wow, look at how blue the sea is!”
It was Jeju Island. The breeze was gentle, and it had a charm entirely different from the city. Unlike the always crowded city, the quiet atmosphere made me feel at peace.
“The wind is cool and nice.”
"Yeah. It's better than I thought."
It was a place where I was very excited about what would happen here in the future.