[Let’s watch a movie today]
It was a text that came on Sunday morning.
Half-awake, I lay on the bed and stared at the screen, blinking.
Hmm. Friends can watch movies together too. It might just mean “let’s watch a movie,” but if you get a text like that after hearing a confession, it does feel different, doesn’t it.
I was still half asleep, so I closed my eyes for a moment and almost drifted off again.
I picked up my phone again from where I’d dropped it beside me and typed a reply, tap tap tap. My fingers kept slipping and making typos.
[What movie]
As if waiting for it, the reply came quickly.
[Anything]
[I just woke up]
[Two hours from now should be enough, right?]
At that reply, I got up sleepily from the bed. I sent just two letters, [ㅇㅇ], and hurried out of the room to wash up.
-
Normally, I would have worn the jeans I always wore. There was no reason to wear a skirt just to go see a movie. But when I stood in front of the closet, my hand oddly moved toward the skirts.
If it’s a date… isn’t this right? Otherwise I might as well die of embarrassment.
Ahem. I cleared my throat and put on a dress that gave off a very feminine feel. If I was the only one who dressed up like this, it’d be embarrassing, and maybe I’d die of frustration too.
When I went out past the front gate in time for our meeting, I saw a familiar black car at the end of the alley. The driver’s door opened, and Gunho got out.
A brown check shirt and a jacket.
Not overly dressed up, but clearly put-together. Even his hair was a little more neat than usual.
Hmm, he dressed up too. Somehow, the corners of my lips twitched up. My heart was pounding—so this was excitement.
Gunho stood in front of me. He seemed a little flushed too.
“Did you wait long?”
“I just got here.”
Gunho’s gaze dropped downward for a moment, then came back up.
“You look pretty.”
“W-wha—?!”
“I said you look pretty.”
“You, you too—you’ve really become an actor… your clothes fit you ridiculously well.”
“Thanks.”
“Hurry up. We’ll be late for the movie.”
I got flustered at him saying something genuinely cringe-worthy—or, no, slick?—and my tongue kept tying itself in knots. Why was I stuttering! He must’ve found it funny. Gunho smiled at me and followed me back to the car.
-
The movie theater was crowded because it was the weekend. The lobby was filled with the sound of trailers and the smell of popcorn.
Gunho had pulled his hat low even before getting out of the car. The motion was so natural it actually stood out.
“Anything you want to see?”
“I already booked it.”
“Was it a movie you wanted to see?”
“Yeah, it’s a re-release.”
Come to think of it, I hadn’t even asked what movie it was. I must’ve been so excited about the date that I just ran out! But I kept my expression carefully casual.
I picked up the tickets I’d booked, bought drinks, and took the half-and-half popcorn. With a drink in one hand and popcorn in the other, I felt like such a greedy person.
Gunho, holding the ticket in one hand and a drink in the other, held out his hand.
“Give it here.”
“No, it’s fine. You don’t have a hand either. You need to show the ticket.”
“It looks like I’ll drop it.”
At that moment, a few popcorn kernels fell to the floor.
I stared helplessly at the popcorn on the ground, then silently handed him the popcorn. A sweet-and-salty smell drifted past.
“You hold the ticket.”
I took the paper ticket Gunho handed me. Just as showtime was approaching and we were heading toward the entrance,
I heard a small sound.
Click.
For a moment, I felt like I’d been photographed, so I turned my head. Was it just my imagination? They could’ve been taking a selfie or an 인증샷.
A little later, I heard it again.
Click.
This time it was aimed at us. Not far away, someone holding up a phone hurriedly lowered their screen. When our eyes met, they immediately looked away.
My expression and fingertips stiffened a little.
Gunho seemed to realize it too. His expression stayed the same, but his pace quickened a little.
“Should we go in?”
“Yeah.”
The theater was dark.
Only after sitting down did I finally breathe a little easier. Had that just been my imagination? Or were they papparazzi or sasaengs, the kind you only hear about?
Before I had time to sort out my tangled thoughts, the ads started with loud sound effects that hit right in my ears.
-
The movie was better than I expected. No, it could almost be called a masterpiece.
My heart felt moved, and that feeling seemed to spread through every corner of my body.
“Did you like it?”
Gunho asked quietly.
“Yeah, I like stuff like this.”
“This was already my third time. I’ve only watched it alone.”
It’s nice watching it together. At those words, I snapped my head around to look at Gunho, but he didn’t even look my way and just pulled his hat on again.
Watching a fun movie together and talking about it afterward. It really felt like a date.
“Want to eat?”
“Yeah, I’m hungry.”
“There’s a good place nearby.”
On the way to the restaurant, we kept talking about the movie. How the direction was great in some parts. That scene was apparently actually filmed, not CG, and so on.
Amid the noise of the crowd, we blossomed our own little conversation. And still, there were sounds that kept catching my ear in between.
“Whoa, isn’t that actor Ahn Gunho?”
Every time I heard that, my chattering mouth would freeze, and my movements would stop.
It was similar at the restaurant.
At first, we talked about Gunho’s life as an actor. Stories like how a door wouldn’t open on set and caused a bad take, or how the director got drunk and showed up late to filming. I laughed, or got angry along with him, and so on.
I could feel eyes on us now and then. And when I looked over there, there were always people holding their phones toward our direction.
When I looked at Gunho, he seemed used to it. I wasn’t, even though it was my first time.
The meal ended after I picked at the food and we carried on the conversation a few times.
The food was tasty. Probably. Honestly, I was a little tired.
Near the end of the meal, two girls came up to our table.
“Um… excuse me, are you Actor Ahn Gunho?”
Gunho gave me a quick look, then looked at them.
“Yes.”
“I’m a fan…! Could you take just one photo with me?”
At the politely asked question, Gunho’s expression stiffened for a moment, then he smiled faintly.
“Sorry. This is my private time right now.”
“Ah, okay…! Sorry. I’m really a fan! I always watch you!”
“Thank you.”
Even as they walked away, they kept looking back.
I soon put down my fork. Maybe because they came up to us so directly, my appetite had vanished completely.
Neither of us said anything. The food we hadn’t touched for a few minutes was going cold, and while we were just clinking our utensils for no reason, Gunho asked if we should get up now.
“Want to go to a café?”
“Not today.”
Gunho looked at me for a moment, then nodded.
“Then should I take you home?”
“Yeah.”
As soon as I got in the car, the air went quiet. But it also felt comfortable.
When the car left the main road and turned onto a quieter street, Gunho spoke first.
“That must’ve made you really uncomfortable.”
Even in the stopped car, I just looked out the window.
I didn’t want to talk during the date. I was afraid I’d seem like the one ruining the mood. And I really didn’t want to ruin it. It’s true the movie theater felt nice, and it’s true I laughed while eating with him too.
“Yeah.”
I spoke without even looking at Gunho. It’s not like this was Gunho’s fault. My chest just kept getting more and more suffocated. Then who was I supposed to tell this to?
“At first I thought I was just being overly sensitive.”
“……”
“When I heard the click in the theater, I thought maybe it was just my imagination.”
“……”
The two of us sat in silence for a moment. We both knew it. This wasn’t something that would be solved just by talking.
I fidgeted with the hem of my skirt for no reason, then opened my mouth.
“Today I thought it was a date.”
“It is a date.”
This time, Gunho answered right away.
Only then did I look at him. Gunho was looking at me.
“I didn’t just say let’s watch a movie for nothing.”
“……”
“But I took it too lightly.”
He paused for a moment. Maybe because he was sorry, he looked away.
“I thought you were doing it on purpose.”
“Doing what.”
“I thought maybe you were trying to show me that. That if I’m with you, I have to deal with stuff like this.”
“…That’s absolutely not it.”
Gunho looked straight at me again. There seemed to be real sincerity in those eyes.
The suspicion that maybe he was acting because he was an actor faded away quickly. It was Ahn Gunho. Those were the eyes of Ahn Gunho, who couldn’t fake things in front of me.
I let out a sigh, then turned my gaze forward.
“I had a good time today.”
“……”
“But I was hurt too, that’s the truth. And I can’t exactly blame you for it.”
“……”
“So I’m confused.”
“……”
“I’m just going to go in today.”
Gunho nodded slowly.
“Okay.”
I got out of the car.
Even after I opened the gate and went inside, I didn’t hear the car starting up behind me. I went up to my room and, without turning on the lights, walked over to the window.
I looked outside through the curtain.
Gunho’s car was still there.
It didn’t move for a long time.
I watched it, then quietly drew the curtain shut.
I lay down on the bed, but sleep wouldn’t come.
The feeling when I got the text, the feeling when Gunho said I was pretty, the hair and clothes he’d so carefully chosen to come out and make me flutter, the brief moments that felt comfortable inside the theater. And the feeling of having lost my place at the restaurant—all of it mixed together.
I thought all I needed was the feeling of liking someone. I didn’t know liking someone was such a difficult thing.
-
In the car below the alley, Gunho couldn’t turn off the engine for a long time.
He rested his arms on the steering wheel and buried his forehead on top of them.
This wasn’t what I wanted.
A long sigh came out, as if the ground were caving in.
I just wanted to watch a movie together, eat together, and laugh together. Like everyone else, without making it a big deal.
…With the person I like.
Even though he knew that wasn’t something that came easily to him, he’d forgotten for a moment.
Gunho slowly let out a breath.
Am I bothering the heroine too much?
At that thought, he couldn’t lift his head for a long while.
