♪BGM : Radwimps - Hyperventilation♪
After several years, we met again.
Me facing again.
With contradictory affectionTried to stab the heart.
First, denial. Then, anger. Finally, despair.
There are countless ways a person can go mad, and for me, one of them was you. You left a note behind and disappeared. The feelings I felt for you in that moment were so overwhelming that no words could describe them.
"...."
Yeah. You must have left because you hated me. You must have left because you hated me and resented me. But, Yoongi.Then you should have hated me until the end. You should have resented me.
[ love you. ]
What if you hold me back with selfish feelings?
What if you try to tie me to the past with cruel emotions?
Yoongi. Min Yoongi.
You selfish bastard.
Senior! Are you coming to the company dinner today? No. Oh, Senior~
Despite Kim Taehyung's whining, he didn't stop writing. "The test is coming soon." Hearing those words, Kim Taehyung flinched for a moment. Just a moment. Just a moment, really.
"Lies. It's not over yet."
"I got caught."
"Oh really!!!"
He began to whine, holding the hand he was writing with, and a buzzing began deep inside his head. Call it a headache. But he absolutely couldn't. The company dinner place. He knew too well how many other memories lingered there. If he went, he'd feel like he'd lose control.
"Okay... then that's fine."
"huh."
"Oh, right. Senior, you're a graduating class now, right?"
"...Are you kidding me?"
"No. I'm really curious."
"What is it?"
Do you know Min Yoongi? The senior who quit three years ago. Squeak. My body froze. No, not just my body, but my brain froze. Look at this. My whole body trembles just from your name. How can I face that place?
I asked silently. I asked with my eyes. How did you know that? And all sorts of thoughts were running through my head. Could it be you're an acquaintance? A close older brother? I've never heard of a close younger brother like you near Yoongi. Am I unaware? No. If I knew, would you know where Yoongi is?
"That senior is back."
"... what?"
"I was just wondering if you knew since you were coming to the company dinner this time."
"...."
Longing reminds us of familiarity, and familiarity brings longing.
"...I'll go today too."
"yes?"
"I'm going to the company dinner too."
To resolve those emotions, I had to find their source. That place.
Because it's you.
you.
It's you, Yoongi.
Kim Taehyung's face brightened. "Senior, you know about the first company dinner I have? I know. I know. I know too well. Because it was the only place I could avoid. Because wherever I was with him, I would constantly hover, the only place I could avoid.
But now I have to face it.
"Don't overdo it. It's hard for you."
If you bury a new past there.
So that the past would be forgotten.
Dalgrak. Twenty minutes had passed, filling and emptying a soju glass that could be held in one hand. Anxious, I chewed the tender flesh in my mouth with my two canines, the taste of blood lingering alongside the alcohol. Was it not coming? Was it just a rumor?
"Drink slowly. You can't hold your liquor well."
"It's annoying."
"My head hurts. Get up. I didn't drink."
Familiar conversations resurfaced, deep within my heart. Waves of emotion surged upward, slowly saturating me. Soon, my eyes began to spin, bringing a sharp pain.
"That's right! Senior Yeoju, today is the first time in a while that we're having a company dinner together... Senior?"
"...."
"Senior, are you crying?"
"!!!!"
Ah. Only then did I realize. The tears streaming down my cheeks were tears of despair. I wiped them away with my sleeve, but they wouldn't stop. Please. Please. Please. Countless eyes were fixed on me. Don't look. Please.
"Me, me, let's get some fresh air."
I stood up and quickened my pace. I wanted to escape through the transparent glass door, even for a few seconds. I wanted to avoid eye contact.
"What are you going to do without me now?"
I wanted to erase the memories that haunted me so relentlessly. I wanted to vomit out the turmoil in my stomach caused by those memories. I reached for the doorknob. And before I could even reach it, the door opened a beat too early. There...
"hi"
"...."
"It's been a while, my lady."
You were standing.
"...."
"Looking at your face... um."
It's just nice to see you. It's been a while. Us. Their gazes were even more intense. Because of the "we" designation, I couldn't tell if they were looking at me or you. But, more than those gazes, you, standing before me right now, are more important to me.
I had a lot to say. I missed you. I resented you.
Why did you leave with just those words?
why?
Why did you do that to me?
"...I'll have to explain everything. Or else,"
"Oh, you still haven't forgotten me?"
"hey."
"I'm sorry. I didn't know you were still stuck in the past."
...Hey Min Yoongi.
... Phew.
Ahahaha... sorry.
Did you notice the lie?
"...."
"I missed you. Did you miss me?"
Huh? Yeoju.
It was okay for us though.
each other,
I've experienced something called love.
You learned it.
and,
I threw it away.
"I missed you."
"...."
"Because I want to abandon you."
"...."
"I came here myself."
"Why are you crying..."
It seems like I have a reason to bring you down.
Ah, I'm sorry, heroine.
I have to stop laughing. Sorry.
Nausea welled up in my throat, and I couldn't bear it any longer. I pushed him away and ran like crazy. The words I'd just spoken were whining and wailing. They were tormenting me. Tears streamed down my face, as if I'd somehow been ruined. Thud. A dark alley. A place where I couldn't see anything. I leaned against the wall and vomited everything out.
I miss you, the way you casually told me it's been a while, even though it's selfish. I miss you, the very act of spitting out harsh words. That's why I resent you, yet feel pity for you. The sight of the unstoppable liquid continually plummeting toward the floor is unsightly.
"are you okay?"
"...."
"Don't cry, heroine."
"... Ugh."
"We haven't even started yet, what should we do?"
So don't cry yet.
For me.
After several years, we met again.
Me facing again.
With contradictory affectionTried to stab the heart.