Tiring -
The sound of a text message alarm filled the room. She turned on her phone, her body teetering on the verge of collapse. Yeo-ju, startled by the contact's name, straightened up. Choi Beom-gyu...? Why did he call? The person who called was unexpected.
[ Hi, you haven't changed your number yet, have you? ]₁
[I'm Choi Beom-gyu. Sorry for the late night.]₁
[I have something to say, so if you read this, come out to the park in front of my house.]₁
After I got a call from Choi Beom-gyu, my heart started pounding wildly.
What kind of feeling is this? Is it possible that I still have feelings for Choi Beomgyu? All sorts of thoughts came to mind.
But first, it seemed like Choi Beom-gyu had something to say, so I felt like I needed to meet him. Why was I so nervous?
Well, it felt strange. No, it felt uneasy.
It felt like Choi Beom-gyu would leave at any moment. But I hoped he would, but why did I want to hold on to him? I don't like him, I don't love him, but I really do. Is it really right to dislike him?
Ah, these are all lame excuses. Why do you keep getting caught up in your feelings?
Is it because I'm carrying the weight of responsibility? I love you too.
Late at night, a streetlight came on and caught my eye. It was on the wall.
A silhouette appeared, leaning against the wall and waiting for someone.
It was Choi Beom-gyu. His expression was both heavy and sad.
I slowed my steps without realizing it, now completely
I stopped. I felt like he was going to say something. It was the words that made me sad, and I knew what he was going to say.
Choi Beom-gyu approached me as soon as he saw me. I could see he was trying to act cheerful. But I pretended not to notice. Just
Somehow I felt like it had to be that way.
"Are you here? Sorry for calling you so late."
"No, it's okay. But why did you call me?"
He spoke in a tone uncharacteristic of Choi Beom-gyu. The atmosphere was tense.
I didn't. I also tried to force a quiet smile, following Choi Beom-gyu's lead.
I could see what he was saying in his eyes, what he was feeling right now.
It was all written down. .. Yes, it was the last greeting I had to give someday. I felt like tears were about to fall.
" .. I'm going abroad tomorrow. I'm going to say my last goodbyes to you.
"I came to find you."
You were right. You were right to want to leave. If you love someone, you won't leave.
I get it. But everything I loved left me. So I hated love, and I didn't want to do it.
But, you made my sweet love that had been sleeping bloom, and it ended up as a foolish love as well.
" .. I see. When are you coming back again?"
" .. I don't know when it will come."
I messed up. If I had accepted your apology when you offered it to me, our relationship would have been
Could things have been better than they were now? I blamed myself. For being like this, for blaming myself like this.
Beomgyu, I like you a lot. I love you a lot. Don't leave.
Please, I beg you. I miss you. Even at this very moment, as I face you. I'm afraid that if I touch you, you'll disappear. Eternity is
I must be telling myself that it doesn't exist. I repeated this to myself thousands of times.
" .. Okay, bye "
"Is that the end..?"
" ..... "
I'm sorry. I'll miss you a lot in this country. No matter what anyone says.
My world was you. Of course, it's still you. In the past, and now, even now, I thought I gave up on you and didn't like you, but that wasn't true. I like you, no.
love you.
" .. Rather, rather, ask me to love you. Why do you have to be like this? Why do you have to leave? Why the hell?! "
I couldn't understand why you had to leave because of me.
For what reason? Why must you leave? Because I love you.
"How can I ask you to love me? I know you don't have me, and I feel guilty whenever I see you. How can I do that?"
" ...uh? "
"I want to ask you to love me, but I can't do that. Look at me later when you need me. I'll be waiting, so when that time comes, love me."
Beomgyu showed a faint, bright, and infinitely sad smile that I had never seen before. Without realizing it, I saw it in his eyes.
Tears flowed. I didn't want to show them, so I lowered my head.
He dropped it. And then he whispered quietly to Beomgyu.
"..I'm sorry for loving you."
It was an ugly confession. Beomgyu's eyes widened slightly. He seemed quite surprised. "I love you, literally. I love you so much. More than I can even put into words."
" ... I love you too, I love you, heroine."
The two embraced each other. They both knew, that they were destined to never be together. And they both knew that. They would overcome any obstacles, towards each other. And, surely.
To create a happy ending.