“What good things are happening to you these days, Yeoju?”
" yes? "
“I think you’ve been smiling a lot lately.”
" ah.. "
“Do you have a boyfriend?”
“..that’s not it”
" then? "
“I just like it. I’m happy and all.”
The reason I'm happy is probably because of Beomgyu
at that time,
Ringing,
" who are you? "
"This is Hospital 00. I still have an outstanding balance."
"Huh? I definitely deposited it all last week..."
“Well, from our side, it is confirmed as unpaid.”
“..I think it’s probably unpaid.”
And the reason why this reality feels more difficult than before is probably because of that child.
That child's world is truly illusory. Perhaps that's why he feels particularly reluctant to leave, and wants to sleep inside it forever.
I was struggling, lost in the illusion that made the reality outside even sadder and more difficult.
And I was mistaken. My utopian illusion that this fantasy could become reality.
In the end, I asked the store owner to send me my next month's paycheck. I deposited the hospital bill and went straight to his house.
dripping,
“Open the door”
“ … ”
“Open the door!!”
Knock knock,
“What kind of a blunder is this, coming all of a sudden?”
"Dad, what are you doing? What are you going to do if you take away Grandma's hospital bills!!"
“Huh.. Are you still taking care of that old lady?”
" .. how "
“And didn’t I tell you to deposit 200,000 won once a month?”
"What?"
"Are you planning to starve your father to death?"
"..I'm dying"
" what? "
"If you're going to live like that, you might as well die. I'm serious."
" you..!! "
"If you do something like this again, I'm going to take you to the police."
So I came out of that nightmarish place, and as soon as I came out, all the strength left my legs and I collapsed.
I went there without even changing my clothes, trying hard to hold back the tears that were about to burst out at any moment.
Finally, back to my Neverland
Knock knock,
“You really came to see me first today”
" .. huh "
“I thought you would protect me.”
“ … ”
Why do you keep leading me to Neverland? I know the nightmares will only get sadder and more painful if I keep doing this, but why can't I shake you off?
One word from you and one smile from you melts my cold, hardened heart in an instant and makes me run again.
"What happened? You look especially tired today."
"Yeah, today is a bit harder than usual."
"No, you were always the clock hand I was talking about."
” … ”
“It seems like it’s hard to even keep my eyes open right now, and I feel like I’m moving with difficulty, one step at a time.”
“ … ”
"It's okay if you don't do that."
".. why?"
“It’s okay to move slowly for the time I have.”
“ … ”
“It’s just a short break for those times when you have to run hard.”
The presence of "poverty," which has followed me since childhood, has trapped me in a hamster wheel, constantly whipping me. It has relentlessly tormented me in that hamster wheel, unable to slow down or stop.
Perhaps that's why I never felt the sensation of rest. I'd never personally experienced what people commonly call "healing."
But I think I've felt this way ever since I met you. I felt more comfortable than ever, and that's why I wanted more. It's the only moment when I feel at ease.
I can't escape your Neverland. It feels like I've finally found happiness, and I don't want to leave this place.
I want to stay here deeper and longer.
I too become happy every moment I am with you and that place becomes my Neverland.
Gulp,
"Really... I didn't want to cry"
"It's okay if things fall apart for a moment. We can rebuild together."
Hug,
“I hope you feel happy when you are with me, just like I do.”
” … “
So I was once again lost in your world, and I wanted you more than ever before.
I want to stay here forever. I want to sleep forever in this Neverland called "you."
“You always make me happy, but I can’t do that.”
"..you're not the only one"
" uh? "
“I’m always happy when I’m with you.”
“ … ”
“I like you too.”
“I like you, Beomgyu.”
In the end, I fell into your world again. Completely.
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
“What do you want to be?”
" .. I am "
” … ”
“I just want to stay like this, without changing.”