Trigger Warning_ Please be careful as it contains elements that may trigger trauma, such as "death, blood, and soil"!
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Twenty-one years old, spring arrived. Returning to school as a freshman, I was placed in the same department as Seulgi and Taehyung. Jumping for joy, I fell, bleeding from my knees and nose. I tried to stop the bleeding, but it didn't stop, and I ended up in the hospital again. I guess I've gotten used to the hospital's distinctive, once-in-a-lifetime stench.
Taehyung is busy with school. I wanted to call Taehyung, but I didn't call him to the hospital because I was worried that he would have a hard time. I heard from the doctor that my physical condition was getting worse. Why am I so weak?
"Honey, your father sent you money to go abroad for treatment."
"I don't want to go"
"Your body... you know it's not good."
"Then...Taehyung will be left alone..."
"Taehyung has a family, he's not alone."
"But... I... have no one but you."
"How am I supposed to live without you..."
"Get treatment... please."
".......Okay, I understand."
I couldn't shake off Jeongguk, who was holding onto me and crying. He was terrified of losing those around him. He was saying these things out of concern for me, so I couldn't shake him off.
And I didn't even say goodbye to you.
He went abroad for treatment.
We kept in touch there occasionally too
I haven't seen it all.
My life fell into deep darkness.
No matter how hard I swam, I couldn't get out.
It was hard to live each day.
I was afraid you would see me like this.
For you, I had to abandon you.
Only then could I forgive myself.
I'm so sick that I can't even see the calls coming from you.
It hurts so much that it squeezes my heart.
If you see this
You will be very sad.
I hate seeing you cry.