Trigger Warning_ Contains elements that may trigger trauma, such as death and bloodshed, so please be careful when watching!
1p
June 20××First diary
A month has already passed since I came abroad for treatment. While receiving treatment here, I cried every night because I was so mad that I missed your face. Even though Jungkook was next to me and tried to comfort me, I couldn't stop. Why is it that only our family ends up like this? Why on earth is the heavens so indifferent? If they had taken my mother, it would have ended there. Why are they trying to take me away again? Why are they ruining my brother like this? I finally found happiness and have someone I love, so why are you doing this again? I had to endure the pain. Because I had to see you again. Even though I wanted to give up, I couldn't.
2p
20×× June
I miss you, Taehyung. The people here draw my blood every day for tests. It was scary at first, but I gradually got used to it. Taehyung, are you doing well without me? You shouldn't cheat. I really would kill you then. I love only you.. I haven't been feeling well lately, so I threw up and there was blood... I was so scared. If something really goes wrong with me, I don't think I'll be able to face you and Jungkook alone. Taehyung, even if I leave you, I hope you understand. Because I'm doing this for you..
Thank you for listening to my complaints. I love you.
3p.
July 20××
It's so hot. I feel like I'm going to die from the pain. When I vomit, blood comes out, and when I try to vomit, my mouth tastes like metal, so it's hard to bear.
I want to live. I want to live and meet you.
"The writing is blurred by tear stains and cannot be seen."
4p
September 20××
It's fall. I'm losing weight by the day, almost like I'm dead. You keep calling me even now. Of course, I don't answer. My voice is so hoarse that I can't understand it, and I cough every time I speak. I'm taking antibiotics these days, but they're so strong that I'm having cramps all over my body. I'm so scared something might go wrong.
5p
November 20××
I have no strength. I can't go to you now, because I'm about to leave you. You'll cry. I'm not afraid to see you cry. I'm tired of each day being different. I'm tired of the repetitive life, and the medicine doesn't suit me anymore. I'll be there soon, Taehyung. I loved you.
6p
January 20××
Finally. All treatments are finished. My condition has gotten worse.
I know. I was in such a state that I felt like I'd hold out for four months and then just croak and die. I'd say goodbye as soon as I left.
7p
20×× February
I said goodbye to you and returned home. As expected, I was vomiting blood and my body was covered in needle marks. The bruises from accidentally hitting the floor didn't go away easily.
8p
20×× April
I love you Taehyung, this is all I have to say to you. There's no room for excuses. Now, I'm someone who doesn't care if you cheat. Taehyung, remember me every day.
After that, I didn't write a diary.