shouldnโt you have understood that by now?"
When I opened the door to the teachersโ office, in my hand was a report card slashed mercilessly with bright red ink and
an admissions proposal for the music department entrance exam.
Cruelly, the standards the world had set were all bright red.
If youโre all grown up, youโre supposed to be able to bear it all,
the teacher said, telling me to act like an adult.
Why does that sound even more childish and petty to me
I donโt know.
Yet another horrible day had started like this,
and to me, every moment was suffocating and hard to breathe through, because everything was always something I was facing for the first time in my life.
"Honestly, this is hardly a comedyโฆโฆ."
It felt like the whole world had conspired just to torment me, tightening around my throat from every side.
In the middle of summer vacation in 11th grade, when sweat poured down like rain,
I ran out of the classroom, where even the air conditioning felt harsh and cold.
I trudged up to the school rooftop.
My life right now was basically
a brutal horror movie, minus the background music.
Even a clichรฉ open ending,
for me as the protagonist, was the pitch-black reality looming as soon as tomorrow.
Itโs not like they want me dead,
so why does everyone only come at me, making it so I canโt even breathe.
ThudโI slammed the rooftop door shut.
I opened the dusty old violin case and took up the bow.
My fingertips started trembling.
If time was going to force me to grow up,
Iโd rather keep going with horns on my head.
I wanted to beg them to take me a little later,
to comfort me a little more and hold on to me a little longer.
But cruelly, the sun had already started to set in the distance.
As if announcing the end of my childishness, the red sunset soaked the rooftop floor.
LUCY(๋ฃจ์)
๐งFor all ages [Childish]
