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When I woke up, I saw the ceiling, not the forest. Did I wake up from a dream? I still vividly remember the dream from the night before. People around me were on the verge of death, villagers were starving, and their houses were being torn apart.
It all felt like my fault. If I had told them that war was imminent...would they still be alive? Would they have had time to prepare?
But the strange thing is, time usually doesn't pass while I'm awake... why has more than two weeks passed by so quickly? The mystery remains unsolved, but somehow I have to hold on until this war ends.
I was so preoccupied with my dream that I couldn't control my body properly, and I was drenched in a cold sweat. After taking a shower, my headache seemed to have subsided. Perhaps it was a blessing in disguise.
But that too became depressing for a moment. In the dream, the war I was worried about finally broke out, and I had to experience the cold winter in my dreams.
Ultimately, the result was resentment. Why did I have to feel guilty and suffer for having these dreams? Why did I dream of hurting those around me? I resented the heavens and cried.
If someone else had this dream, wouldn't they have had these regrets? Would they have had a better outcome? If it hadn't been me... would they have done better?
If you become more and more obsessed with your dream and can't keep it,CrazyIt was. I felt like I couldn't live without going crazy. The sound of Jaehyun crying lingered in my mind, and Nayoung's eyes trembled with fear and her trembling figure.
The kite is vivid in my eyes.
My disrupted sleep patterns and erratic sense of time become more apparent. If I tell anyone, they'll think I'm crazy, and if I don't, they'll persecute me for not telling.
I don't know which choice will make me a better person.
-I decided to go see the flowers with my wife…
The promise to go flower viewing seems to be slipping away. I wanted to spend my days smiling and happy, looking at the flowers. Since I can't do that in reality, I dreamed of joy with you, even if only in my dreams. Was that wrong?
I wanted to love you, and I did, and now, if you loved me back, it seemed like this dream would end. But why did you throw me into the abyss right before that? Indifferent sky, why are you doing this to me? I just wanted love... pure love.
-I guess that's not what I wanted from you.
If I dream this again tonight, I'll have to die in this story for this tragedy to end. I quickly shook my head and tried to avoid the negative thought. I tried to ignore it and numb it, saying that there are many possibilities even if I don't die.
As the sun rises and sets, I feel like happiness is blooming and fading over and over again. I don't know if I can ever escape this cycle.