I'm leaving now.
[Min Yoongi: I put in feelings of liking, but you probably won't notice because you're not very perceptive.]
[??: Even though I did this much, wouldn't you know?]
[Min Yoongi: He's the type of person who would say 'So what?' even if you look at the lyrics. Haha]
Something felt quite wrong. If that 'he' were me, shouldn't I be listening to this right now? We both continued listening, our bodies still.
[Min Yoongi: If I say I like you, she'll definitely run away. Because she hates me. Because she doesn't like me anymore. I liked you from the beginning.]
"Uh... well... well... let's turn it off for now..."
I came to my senses and turned off the video. The studio was even more awkward than before. I stared straight at Min Yoongi's face, but he avoided my gaze.
"Okay, first of all, sorry for touching you so carelessly. It was a bit awkward. Are you okay, right?"
"Oh, uh..."
Min Yoongi's face grew increasingly red. I felt like I'd made a terrible mistake. It's my birthday. I'm the one who's acting up today. Even for someone who's celebrating their birthday, crossing this line is unacceptable.
"Hey.. hey I'm sorry I'll pretend I didn't hear this Hey hey I'm sorry. I made a.. big mistake. Your face is just so indescribable right now It can't be helped. I'm going out. Hey I'm sorry! I'm really sorry! I'm really, really sorry!"
"wait for a sec."
"Huh?"
I was about to leave, almost to the point of rapping, but I stopped in front of the door when Min Yoongi called me.
"Do you know that 'that guy' was you? You're so clueless... I'm saying this because I feel like I'll never see you again if I don't do it now."
"You're so clueless, you're beating me up in front of the person involved... Anyway, I just found out for sure that 'that guy' is me."
"Then I, you,"
"Hey hey I'm sorry. I'm going!!!!"
I opened the door and left, unaware of Min Yoongi's subsequent words. If he liked me, I couldn't understand it. I couldn't think of anything else. Right now, I just couldn't bear to see him.
"...I'm crazy. What the heck am I?"
Not long after I left the office, I got a call from Min Yoongi. I tried not to answer, but I felt there was no reason not to, so I answered.
"Hey Min Yoongi"
-I'm answering the phone.
"Hahahahahaha"
-Why did you go out? You took the album with you when you left, lol
"It's my choice to leave hahaha"
-I'm not finished talking yet.
"No~ I'm afraid you'll be too embarrassed~"
-It's not like that, is it?
"Um... no?"
-Did you leave because you thought I would say I like you?
"Is it different? If it's different, I'll be really embarrassed."
-There's no need to be embarrassed. You really are clueless. You're only just now realizing it, so I expected it to happen, but I didn't expect it to go as planned.
"Are you saying that you're piercing me or something?"
-Are you going to avoid me?
"No? Why am I avoiding you haha"
-This is how unrequited love ends.
"Do you really like me????"
-uh.
"Since when."
-Since you were my fan.
"Why?"
-Do you know why I only looked straight at your camera during your home days?
"Do you know it's me? The camera is so big you wouldn't notice."
-You always carried a keychain with you. A whale with Yubin's name on it.
"omg..."
-I really liked you.
"But why past tense?"
-You just got kicked out. Hahaha
"Don't you regret it? You said this album was for me."
-I don't regret it. It's thanks to you that this song came to be.
"Aren't you curious why I refused?"
-I think you have your reasons. There must be a reason why you ran away like that. I'm curious. But there's no reason to ask. There's no reason for me to ask you to tell me. I was dumped, right? We're not related anymore.
"I'm sorry. But you're an idol. Realistically, a secret relationship is impossible. You know that."
-Idols are people too. Is that why you rejected them?
"uh."
-What about your heart? I mean, yours, not someone else's.
Me... The road made me stop while I was walking and talking on the phone. What are your feelings? When I was a fan, I was just a fan and liked it. After I quit being a fan and met him, no matter how much I thought about it, I didn't have feelings for Min Yoongi.
"There's a wall between fans and idols. It's an inevitable, invisible wall that can't be overcome. Other people eventually leave the moment they feel that there's a wall between them. I don't know because I was close to you, but that's how fans are in the end. No matter how long you've liked someone, if you start to doubt them, it's over. Who likes only one person for a thousand years?"
-So, even when you were a fan, you just thought of me as an idol and liked me.
"That's what I have to do. Otherwise, I wouldn't have been able to do it for this long."
-Then why did you quit being a fan?
"I felt lost. I wanted to live my life. I couldn't keep loving you and nurturing myself. I was just following you around, that was all I had."
-We can't continue.
"I know idols are people too. But I don't want to hurt my fans. I'll tell you that my fans understand me. But you know what? I wonder if my fans were even a little hurt. After all, I was a fan. I don't want to hurt them."
-Yeah. I understand. It was a bit of a hassle, but I'll go back to how I was before so it doesn't interfere with my work.
"Oh, next time you feel something you like again, try making another album like this. The fans will love it. They say you write songs like this too. I've been a source of positive energy."
-Yeah. Take care. Next time you release an album like this, think of me.
"There are many fates in this world. Not with me. So cheer up. Min Yoongi. You will prosper. You will lose me and achieve something better, so have a 'I'm glad' mindset. Or you will climb higher and higher so that I will regret it. I will regret it so much. Then you will feel really good. Take care. Don't get sick."
-I will. Take care of yourself, Eunbin.
And so the call ended. It was my first long phone call. My first confession. My first album featuring myself. My first gift from Min Yoongi. Will I ever have another opportunity like this?
Min Yoongi was a high-ranking figure to me, but when did we end up in the same place like this? I need to know my place. Min Yoongi is too high-ranking for me to like him. Anyone who would tolerate that and stay with Min Yoongi would have to be someone who has nothing to fear or nothing left to lose. But I'm the former. It's scary. The criticism I'll receive and the insults Min Yoongi will receive. It's scary to me. A lot.
I made a good choice. Min Yoongi and I are both hurting, but I don't know about anyone else.
I'll do my best. Min Yoongi. You too, soar high and shine. Be happy. Even more than now.
"Now it's time to come back to reality."
LANY - YOU! You must listen✔
I'm back to reality. I'm working as usual and seeing Kim Taehyung. But there's no schedule with Min Yoongi. I've been watching him from time to time. Min Yoongi. He's heading higher. So high I can't catch him. So high. Even there, Min Yoongi shines. He shines even more brilliantly than I expected.
"Wow... Min Yoongi is going up so fast. He must be busy these days."
[Min Yoongi sweeps awards at this year's 20×× Awards]
[Min Yoongi ranked 1st in brand reputation in 20×× years]
[Min Yoongi's new album also dominates the charts]
Now that you're climbing like this, it doesn't seem like you're climbing to make me regret it. It seems like you're climbing because you really want to.
"You're cool, Min Yoongi."
I started a new obsession. My own work. I decided to love myself. So, without any regrets, I deleted Min Yoongi. The last of my carefully collected Min Yoongi merchandise, filled with my memories.
"This is what's left..."
The Pocahontas I'd been longing for, the ones so expensive. This was the Pocahontas I'd kept hidden, determined not to get.
"Now I'm really confident I can erase it."
Without hesitation, I put my last Poka up on the market. I received a message right away, and with so many people wanting to buy, I immediately clicked "Complete Transaction."
Hello everyone. This is Duburang🌸
This greeting will soon be over.
Now, I'm going to end this post. I hope you enjoyed it until the very end. ㅎㅎ I started writing this because I was feeling a bit tired of fandom and wanted to overcome it. Thank you for being with me. Thank you for always leaving comments and ratings, and I hope you all find happiness in fandom. I'll be back with my last post.
Thank you to the two new subscribers. 🤗 I hope you enjoy your fandom. I hope you always have a smile on your face. ㅎㅎ
I have a lot to say in this final post, so I hope you'll read it to the end. I'm honored to have been able to touch upon your fandom. Thank you for sticking with me through the next 15 episodes.
🐢That was the tofu stew.🐢