I'm so lonely

3

“At least refuse.”



"sorry."



Only in times like this does he listen to me. I can't even keep in touch with my lover, and he doesn't treat me well. Why on earth doesn't he love me? I recently heard that he suffers from affection deficiency and dissociative disorder. Sometimes, all my memories would disappear and return, or it would feel like someone else was popping up instead of me. The lack of affection has even led to anxiety, and no one knows about it. Sometimes, I'd smile happily, thinking it would make me feel a little better. But hatred, pain, and loneliness began to creep in again. I miss him. Will he really come back after three years? I received a text from him. He was so kind, asking what I was doing and how I slept, and I quickly began replying. I hated him, but even that resentment was starting to turn into a positive one. I don't know when, but his condition wasn't improving, and when he told me it would be hard to see even a glimmer of light, I began to distance myself even further from him. I tried to act selfishly, pretending not to like him, but he wouldn't leave me. I felt a mixture of gratitude and resentment. If he persisted so much, maybe he could love me. I held him tighter, feeling a sense of loneliness.





“Because I love you..?”