Jeon Jungkook, the thug who came to ruin me
One of my bad habits was constantly reading the room wherever I went. By being so self-conscious, I naturally became the person they wanted me to be, and my own presence gradually diminished. Of course, it also became impossible for me to naturally assert my own opinions. I was like a doll to everyone—someone to be manipulated as they pleased and used to express their own emotions.
But I am not a doll. I only endured and put up with it because I thought they were the only ones in my world. Now that the person who will reclaim my life has come to me, I no longer need to remain a doll to everyone.
“Yeoju, I can look forward to this math competition too, right? You’re representing our school... I’ll give you my full support.”
“It’s okay, I won’t be participating in those kinds of competitions anymore.”
“Huh…? What are you talking about? You know very well that this is an important bonus point for college admissions. Besides, if you don’t participate, our school’s grand prize…!”
The expression on the teacher's face changed. And rightly so. After all, I was the type of person who would enter every competition, both inside and outside the school, and sweep the awards. From then on, whenever the school heard there was a competition, they would send me out. And every time, I achieved results of either the Grand Prize or the Top Excellence Award.
They are no different from the students. Since I bring in excellent results every time, they now take even that for granted. In the end, to this person, I am... just a doll.
“Teacher, you don’t think I’m a doll, do you?”
“Of course not!”
"Otherwise, why should I have to rack my brains for days just for the sake of school? Whenever I participate in a competition, school, the academy, and even my family take turns nagging me. Because of that stress, I've had indigestion and even experienced hair loss. I don't want to live like this anymore."
The teacher's face, after claiming he didn't think of me as a doll, was quite a sight to behold. That sullen expression, as if wondering why I was suddenly acting this way. I had a feeling he would grab my shoulders at any moment and gaslight me, telling me to snap out of it and that I absolutely had to get out of here.
“Please don’t force anything on me. Teachers’ authority isn’t meant to be used to gaslight students… You have no right to do that to me.”
“Kim Yeo-ju, think straight. This is going to be helpful to you too.”
“Thanks to living like your dolls all this time, my student record is packed to the brim. If you think more is needed, I’ll handle it myself, so please don’t use me for your own benefit or the school’s.”
“You ungrateful bitch. Do you know how much I’ve done for you all this time!”
It was absolutely dumbfounding. Gaslighting disguised as teaching authority. It makes me furious that I spent about half of my high school years on this. I wondered what on earth he had done. I was the one doing the brains, I was the one entering the competitions, and I was the one winning the awards. What did he even do?!
“Pfft… What on earth have you been doing, Teacher?”
“That’s it…!”
“Ah, you just told me about a competition? Or maybe you mean patting me on the shoulder and pressuring me to win the grand prize no matter what? Other than that… I’m the one with the brains, I’m the one who went to the competition, and I’m the one who won the award. What exactly have you done for me, Teacher?”
“……”
“Teacher, you didn’t do anything here. I did everything entirely on my own. So don’t assume whatever you want. I’m starting to get a little upset.”
Feeling wronged, I poured out everything deep inside my heart. I am well aware that rumors about me are spreading throughout the school. Among the students, and among the teachers. Ingratitude... though it is nothing to be ashamed of, but I don't mind if you call it that. I don't mind if you call me rude.
Because I like myself right now, turning around and walking past the teacher with one corner of my mouth smirking as if mocking him. And because I like Jeon Jungkook responding with a smile in front of me.
Thanks to the conversation I had with the teacher in the hallway right in front of the faculty office, both the students and the teachers must have heard our conversation. Nevertheless, I didn't mind. I was thrilled just by the fact that my small, hunched shoulders were gradually straightening out.
After pulling off another surprise in the hallway, I ran toward Jeon Jungkook, who was waiting for me, with a wide smile on my face. Not only did Jeon Jungkook smile back at me, but he also took an almond candy out of his pocket and handed it to me.
"what's this?"
Almond candy.
“Do you think I would ask that because I don’t know? I’m asking why you are giving this to me.”
“Just… because it seemed like you liked it.”
I walked down the hallway side by side with Jeon Jungkook. I looked suspiciously at the almond candy he offered me for a moment, but then stopped in my tracks at words I had never heard before. I have never once received something I liked from anyone. Whether it was my parents or friends. Because they didn't value my life much, they never showed me any interest.
In the midst of all this, Jeon Jungkook was the only one who knew that I liked him. It meant he watched me carefully and took an interest in me. That reason alone brought tears to my eyes.
“Kim Yeo-ju, are you crying?”
“… I won’t cry.”
"Anyone can see she's crying."
I guess I shouldn't expect Jeon Jungkook to be perceptive enough to overlook even my tears. As he leaned closer and pointed his finger at my eyes, I ended up covering my face with my hands and letting the tears flow.
“Why are you crying? You’re making the person next to you feel weird for no reason.”
“…because it’s my first time.”
"huh?"
You're the first person to notice what I like and take care of me. Even though it's just this tiny candy.
Tears welled up. At first, I had just shed a drop or two out of shedness, but after telling Jeon Jungkook the reason, I sobbed uncontrollably out of pity for myself. I couldn't bring myself to let a sound out loud.
It’s nice that I’m the first. But if you’re going to cry, at least cry heartily.A. If you don't get rid of it now, it will stay with you for the rest of your life.
Led by Jeon Jungkook's arm, I buried my face in his chest. Jeon Jungkook wrapped one hand around the back of my head and hugged me, and I burst into tears in his embrace.
The fortunate thing was that the bell had rung quite a while ago, so the two of us were the only ones in the hallway. Since Jeon Jungkook was the only one who had seen me cry, I felt strangely relieved. Jeon Jungkook stayed in that position for a few minutes. Solely for me.
