Loire De Charle.
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Ahem, big!
Hello friends! Did you hear my explanation? You all remember... I believe it. Of course, it's been a long time since I explained it... but still! You're smart, aren't you? Anyway, I'll start by telling you a story from when I was little. I'll speak informally... just for convenience, you'll understand, right?
Timeleap-
to, zero.
My story goes back to before I was born... It's not a very good memory, but my biological parents came from very different social classes. My father was a wealthy man known in the country, and my mother was just an ordinary, poor housekeeper.
But then, like something out of a movie, they fell in love? And they made love. It hadn't even been a month since they'd liked each other. It was a bit too hasty. Why are adults like that? Does love have to be physical? It's so weird.
Right, if you look at it this far, I don't seem like an abandoned child, but just a derivative child, right? But what happens after this is crucial. My mom and dad, of course, were separated due to class differences, and I met my adoptive mother. It wasn't like my stepmother was constantly harassing me, as you might think. Quite the opposite. Something must have happened between them shortly after I was born.
My dad hated me. Really. Even my friends teased me, calling me a "derivative." And when I got home, he'd curse and beat me, so it was really hard. My adoptive mother, what did my mom do back then?
My mom tried really hard to stop him, but he wouldn't listen. It's only natural, right? But I remember when I was four. Mom was trying to stop him back then, too... It was horrific. Even now, eight years later, I vividly remember my dad hitting her head with a bottle of alcohol...
I hit it.
I'm sorry, I wanted to say more... but I can't explain in detail. Naturally, my mother let out a shrill scream and collapsed. For those few brief seconds, our eyes met, and it felt like she was talking to me.
“I don’t want to die… Loire, Loire, please… Loire, at least live. Ah… her poor child. Loire, Loire…”
....(There are tear stains. It is assumed to be Loire's, and the writing is blurred and illegible.)
My adoptive mother lived in a vegetative state after that and passed away last August. She didn't leave a single will until she passed away. Isn't that funny? We call a vegetative state alive, but in reality, she's just as good as dead. She can't speak or move. She's not dead, but she's not alive either.
So, Dad. What happened to Dad? Dad came to his senses in front of me, trembling, and dragged the body down to the basement. A moment later, I heard a loud bang, followed by the sound of a wall collapsing. Then, with unfocused eyes, Dad walked back toward me.
"Let's pretend today never happened, Loire."
After saying that, he went back downstairs with the cement. Where did he get the cement? Of course, I didn't hear him. Who would be calm after witnessing their mother die right before their eyes? I was practically unconscious. Then, I started to really lose consciousness. And after that...I don't remember.
And then I, it was really the worst. I don't remember the next six years... Well, yeah. It was recently. It was two years ago, but I got my period when I was 10. It was really early... I think I had some symptoms of precocious puberty? My dad didn't think much of it.
But, since I was menstruating, that meant I was ready to get pregnant. That was the problem. Just like any other day, I went to school and came home, my body heavy. And there was water on the table... I drank it without any doubt. And then I... blacked out.
I don't remember anything after that. But then one day, my stomach started to swell. The first week, the second week... As each week passed, my stomach grew bigger and bigger. I was so shocked that I packed up some emergency money and went to the hospital. The doctor, with a serious expression, told me to go to the gynecologist. I was so embarrassed, but I went anyway.
I had a few tests done, and soon after, the results came back. When I looked, I found...I heard she's pregnant.I was so surprised.
Me? Why? When? What should I do with this child? Should I have an abortion? What should I do?
When these countless questions were running through my head, the doctor called me and talked to me.
"Honey, if you want to grow up normally...get an abortion."
I agreed without a moment's hesitation. At the time, I had absolutely no thoughts. The only thing on my mind was that I had to get rid of this child.
Yeah, you can call me names. I think I was really selfish back then. But I couldn't help it. If you were raped when you were 10 and got pregnant, would you still raise that child? No way. I was the same.
I was too young and unwise back then.
As I found out later, there really was only one suspect. My dad. It's disgusting to even call him dad. A dirty person. No, a person. A beast. Huh, what did I just say? I swore for the first time in my life. I think I'm crazy, really crazy.
So....somehow I'm so confused today. Thank you for reading this far. It's just a trivial story...but I'll stop here for today. It's hard. See you tomorrow, bye.
