1. Soyeon
"Let's break up."
That was the first thing my boyfriend, or rather, my ex-boyfriend, said after hesitating when he called me to a cafe.
I had expected it to some extent.
He burned up quickly and cooled down just as quickly. I haven't been able to do that yet.
I expected him to say something like that, and I thought I was mentally prepared. I even thought about how I'd respond if he did. But when I heard my ex-boyfriend break up with me, my heart ached. I guess he still has a little bit of lingering affection for me.
“I’m sick of you now. Sorry.”
“From now on, you will meet a better man than me. Because you are a good person.”
"I'll go first."
It hurts, it hurts...
* * *
2. Rainy season
"Should we break up...?"
That's what I said to him.
He was very affectionate. That's why I accepted him. I was completely absorbed by his affection. But I didn't know that it would become toxic to our relationship.
His affection and kindness weren't limited to me. He was kind to everyone. At first, I tried to understand, thinking he was naturally affectionate, and I was falling for it. But as it continued, I began to doubt his love, wondering if he really loved me.
As I grew suspicious, wary, and distant from him, our relationship quickly fell apart. Both he and I grew weary.
And then I lost that good feeling, that excitement.
It was my fault.
It was my mistake to start doubting him.
His affection turned into poison, which meant I was just blaming him for all my mistakes.
I felt so sorry for him and I brought up the idea of breaking up because I felt like our relationship was poison to him.
" ... "
He didn't say anything. Perhaps he felt bad for me answering. He was such a kind and affectionate person.
So I broke off the relationship.
"Let's break up."
“Even if we hold on, it’s a relationship that will only make both of us tired and exhausted.”
“Let’s break up now and go our separate ways.”
" huh... "
If I hadn't doubted, we would have been better off than this.
Sorry.
* * *
“You changed as if you took some drug.”
“I will forget you.”
“I changed as if I had taken some drug.”
“I will erase you.”
