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"Ah... it's cold"
" Kwon Soon-young~"
"Huh? Hey, why are you so late?"
Sorry, sorry~
"What's up? Did something good happen, Lee Ji-hoon?"
"Ah! Kwon Soon-young, take this."
" ? What is this.. "
I could never forget that moment. With that beaming smile, that face that looked the happiest in the world, she confidently handed me that pure white paper bag, and the single word she spoke felt like a nail driven into my heart.
I'm getting married
"...Huh? Con... what?"
Lee Ji-hoon thought, "He, who hadn't even been heard dating for a while, suddenly? With whom? Not even dating, but he's suddenly getting married?"
Seeing how flustered I was, he said he expected this and pressed another photo into my hand.
I became a dad
It came with a surprise and shock even greater than the fact that I was getting married. No matter how many times I rubbed my eyes, I saw the picture of the childโnot detailed, but with a faint outline. As I looked at it, one side of my left chest stung. No, an indescribable flood of emotions welled up inside me.
Does Lee Ji-hoon know how I feel? No... he probably doesn't know. He smiled brightly in front of me, completely oblivious to how I feel right now.
What... Did you have news about dating?
I opened my mouth, one word at a time, trying my best to act nonchalant and indifferent.
It was a secret relationship. We were in the same year and he was the class president of the Arts department.
Ah... him...
It was even someone I knewโthat person with long straight hair, dimples when smiling, and a clean yet slightly high-pitched voice.
Hearing about the prospective spouse made it even harder to keep a straight face. She was rumored to be pretty and famous for having a good personality. There was no room for me to get involved.
It was easy for me to like Jihoon. Jihoon was always indifferent and uninterested in dating. But was that just my imagination? No, definitely... it certainly wasn't my imagination...
Did you call me here just to give me this?
" huh "
"Ah... okay, go ahead..."
"Okay, you go home safely too."
It was all for nothing. I was the only one who got excited, so I frantically rummaged through every nook and cranny, picking out the prettiest outfit I could find to put on before heading out.
As I watched Jihoon turn around without a second thought, I saw a woman in a white coat ahead. I didn't want to look anymore. So I turned around and walked step by step. My pace grew faster and faster.
I heard heavy breathing. I entered an alley and took out the crumpled wedding invitation I had received earlier and stuffed into my pocket. With a blue ribbon tied on a white background, I could tell it was an invitation at a glance. I untied the ribbon and unfolded the paper inside.
Groom Lee Ji-hoon, Bride Jeon Seo-yeon
A joke... I thought it was a joke, I thought Jihoon was just playing a prank on his own... But the news of the marriage and the new lifeโit was all true. I vaguely heard that Jeon Seoyeon confessed... That's amazing. I haven't been able to confess even once for years, while my feelings were rotting away... And I haven't been able to give this for years either... Weakly, I took out the small but simple box from my pocket.
"... I guess I was just jumping to conclusions and counting my chickens before they hatched."
I even thought about throwing away that small box, but I couldn't easily let go of it.
I could only utter exclamations of awe. Haha, ha... Wow... I quickly pressed my hands against my face, but the tears that had already started flowing would not stop. Is the sky comforting me, too? Snow began to fall. White snow, the snow I had longed to see with Jihoon so much... I had even held onto the hope that someday, just once, I might walk through this snowfield holding Jihoon's hand... but it was all in vain.
But I couldn't see that white snow. My vision had already become so hazy that I couldn't take it in. While I am like this, someone else among us must be looking at this snow, holding hands, and smiling.
Since today is White Christmas
"I heard Lee Ji-hoon is getting married?"
A female friend I became close with because of my friend, Lee Ji-hoon... The only friend who knows my true feelings right now, and one of the only women around me.
" .. Yeah, that's what they say."
"You bastard, are you alive?"
".. No, I feel like I'm going to die"
Phew, enough is enough. I wondered why you were inviting me out for drinks on Christmas.
"It's been a while since I've had a drink, so isn't it okay?"
I'm fine, but are you even human right now?
"Heh... I don't know, just drink it. If I drink it, maybe my memory will be manipulated."
I poured the cold liquor over myself and just kept drinking, regardless of whether the kid in front of me tried to stop me or not. Today, I wanted to drink until I died.
"But seriously, Lee Ji-hoon, that's amazing. Didn't he know you liked him?"
That's understandable~
"Phew, hey, are you okay? Hold the film."
"Uh-huh, don't worry, I got a good shot!!"
"...Ha, I don't know. Just give me a drink."
I just mindlessly chewed on the dried squid.
"Huh? Hey, Kwon Soon-young"
"...? I see Jihuni right in front of my eyes.. "
"No... I'm Lee Ji-hoon, okay? Hey, Kim Hee-jin, what's wrong with you again?"
"Hmm... What is it, Lee Ji-hoon? Why are you here...?"
"No... I came to eat with Seoyeon, and I came over because I saw you guys."
"...? Oh, are you Jeon Seoyeon?"
Still, Kim Hee-jin, you seem to have your mentality down to some extent.
"I'll be right back after dropping Kwon Soon-young off."
" ..No, no~ It's fine, I can go by myself!!"
I pulled the corners of my mouth up as much as possible and smiled.
I hoped you would be happy on this White Christmas, because it is a good day for you and Jeon Seoyeon, who is standing beside you.
I brushed off Jihoon's offer to walk me all the way and left the bar alone. When I stepped outside, the white snow was piled up even thicker than before. I stared blankly at the dark sky. "The Santa in this world must hate me. He gave me something else instead of a present on Christmas."
"...I have no one on my side in life, Santa Claus... Why are you doing this to me... Why..."
Whether it was the alcohol or not, only then did my body heat up and emotions welled up inside me.
"Ah... but it's okay... Heh. You let me stay by Jihoon's side for years... It's okay... It's alright..."
I kept muttering to myself, over and over again, looking up at the sky and muttering. As if in response, the snow fell harder and harder, pouring down until my hair turned white.
I want a white Christmas too... It doesn't even snow in Busan... ใ
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Since it's Christmas, I quickly wrote a simple short story. I wonder if you'll like it...
I actually debated a lot about whether to post this or not because I didn't like it.