The silence lingered in the car. Choi Soo-bin drove silently, staring straight ahead, while Yoon-ha remained silent, staring out the window at the rain falling. What was she doing?
I felt compelled to say something in this awkward atmosphere, so I slowly and cautiously opened my mouth. No, before I could open it, Choi Soobin spoke to me first.
"..How have you been?"
".. I just did this and that and lived with it"
After that, there was no word. I don't know what was on her mind, but judging by Choi Soo-bin's expression, she seemed a little sad, and what bothered me the most was that she kept biting her lip. If you keep biting your lip like that, it would hurt... It's a habit that's ingrained in me, so I knew what it felt like. But Choi Soo-bin, I don't know if it was just me, but she seemed anxious.
Well, he's not my dad, is he... Then he turned his head again. But, I guess I can't help but be concerned. Choi Soo-bin.
I had resolved never to see her again, but as expected, that was my limit. I quietly watched Yoon-ha and whispered.
"..I missed you so much"
" what...? "
"I put it in the note book back then. Did you see it?"
"I saw it, was that really true?"
"Yeah, it's exactly the same. It's the same now as it was then."
Unforgettable memories. Memories are the old days that come to mind from time to time. Painful memories that make you want to go back to those moments of true happiness. Some people shed tears, while others, knowing they can't go back, remain trapped in their memories. To themselves.
It'll be more powerful. When I come back, all I'll be able to do is cry.
Because I am happy in those memories.
To piece together the scattered pieces of memory and find a small happiness. But when reality strikes, you writhe in pain again. If this is love, you want to go back.
If memories are love, only those who have experienced pain know. It's the feeling of something squeezing your throat, like a knife stabbing your heart.
I want to go back, but the memories only play in my head
In reality, no feelings, no feelings of love, nothing but tears? Memories ultimately leave behind only pain and longing. Memories of something that can never be returned.
To someone who makes you want to go back to memories you want to forget
Memories can be everything to you, but to someone else
It may be a memory that brings suffering to them.
"Then why did you do that back then? You said you didn't like me in the warehouse."
"I couldn't tell you the truth when I was young... You liked me too, didn't you?"
"What..? Did you know I like you?"
"No... that's not it,"
"You knew but you pretended not to? Why did you torture me with hope? If you hated being with me so much, why didn't you just say no?"
"..Lee Yoon-ha"
"You'll accept everything and make me excited, but then you'll deny our relationship later. But... it's so annoying, but it's also so good that it's annoying."
I didn't want to forgive you. In fact, the fact that I didn't even have to forgive you felt so terrible that I wanted to run away. I thought you had ruined me and left me alone.
But you loved me. And you always wanted your sincerity to reach me. There was only one thing I wanted. Don't be afraid.
It was not you who ate and stepped back, but I.
No matter how many times I swore no and shook my head, how many times I hated you and cried, saying this shouldn't be the case, I could never deny that my life was all about you. Tears flowed down my face as my emotions surged. I thought I'd held it together well, but when I saw Choi Soo-bin's face, tears welled up.
" .. I didn't like you. I didn't love you.. You really
It wasn't that great, huh"
"If that's self-defense, then keep going."
"I'm so annoyed, I'm dying..."
"I don't deny that I love you."
The height of winter in the mysterious classroom. The taste of first love, overflowing with the scent of lemon. Shining a light brown in the sunlight.
My hair. Though I can't go back, when I open it, the short films that play in my old head are as vivid as yesterday. That memory was my first youth, and now it's my second youth. The second season we met, winter. It's raining outside, and although our second meeting is uneasy, I still hope for a happy ending.
"I don't like you, you know."
"..It's still raining outside"
"No, I'm going to do it"
"Be sure to bring an umbrella."
"I really hate you"
"..if you get rained on, you'll catch a cold"
If I hadn't bloomed first, if I hadn't opened the door and stepped out first, spring wouldn't have come. It was a bitterly cold winter. But I'm okay with winter. I'd rather stay in the winter we spent together than in a spring without any memories.
It was so beautiful, but it was also as painful as it was beautiful, so I didn't want to go back. I just wanted to treasure it in a corner of my heart. Hwayangyeonhwa. Yes, Hwayangyeonhwa is the most beautiful, but sometimes it also seems the saddest. Even if this moment isn't Hwayangyeonhwa, I hope it's a step toward Hwayangyeonhwa.
The petals fall off one by one, but I hope that they will pile up and create another beautiful crown.
I'm still very clumsy
I hope this is a happy ending for a midwinter day.