From the world
w. Angtal
BGM (really please essential)
"hi."
“Long time no see.”
I caressed him with one hand.
“I missed you.”
Now he can't answer a single word I say.
“I haven’t been able to see you in the country for a while.”
“I thought about you all day, and it was so frustrating.”
Do you remember that?
“When we first met.”
We first met when we were just seven years old.
“Back then, you said you hated me because I was ugly.”
“I used to tease you all the time for peeing your pants.”
Elementary school, middle school, high school.
I really complained a lot.
Maybe that's why,
It wasn't until we turned twenty that we confirmed our love for each other.
We always went on dates to small museums.
You weren't even looking at what was on display there, you were just busy reading people's expressions.
“You were so cute back then.”
It always brought a smile to my face when I saw you smiling brightly, thinking it was cute how people were amazed by your work.
“Do you remember that?”
The day I first cooked for you.
It must have been tasteless because it was my first time, but you smiled brightly and gave me a thumbs up saying it was delicious.
“Honestly, it wasn’t tasty, was it?”
I practiced while getting hurt, cut, and burned while waiting to meet you, and now I think I've become a little better at cooking.
“If you could eat human food, you would have made me a packed lunch today.”
“Am I a lunchbox-making expert now?”
He forced a bitter smile.
Because I decided to laugh in front of you.
“I don’t cry anymore. I’m brave.”
You always said nice things to me, saying that I was soft-hearted, that I got hurt by little things and cried easily.
You, who are like that, are no longer there.
“Are your hands still warm?”
I gently grabbed your two hands, which were tightly bound in chains.
“….I see, that’s right.”
Your warm hands that embraced my cold hands throughout the four seasons,It was as cold as a lie.
“Who will hold my hand now, right?”
I was looking at your two hands when I turned my head and looked at a piece of paper stuck on one side of the wall.
No physical contact without protective gloves.
I immediately turned my gaze and looked at him.
His eyes were empty.
“…..Where are you looking right now?”
What are you thinking about?
You just stare into space without focus, without blinking.
“Yeah, that’s how it should be.”
“Are you not uncomfortable wearing it?”
Unfortunately, you have wrapped me up so tightly that I cannot see your beautiful lips.
“You can’t eat, right?”
Where has your healthy body gone? Your skinny body, reduced to nothing but bones, is now tied to a huge chain around your waist.
“Where did you go, the person who told me to exercise?”
You who always showed off your body proudly.Where did it go?
I smiled faintly, making a silly joke.
“It’s been a while since I’ve seen you, so it makes me smile.”
How long has it been since we last saw each other?
We broke up at twenty-one, and now we're twenty-eight.
“You haven’t forgotten me, have you?”
Say no.
Because I have never forgotten you.
Actually, I lost weight too?
“I didn’t take it out, it just fell out on its own.”
I think it's because you haven't been eating properly.
“And now I can’t even sleep without medication.”
That's probably what you think too.
I live each day thinking only of you.
Did you do that too? How have you been living?
I am,
I've been getting worse and worse since that day.
My mom said that.
I feel empty now that you, who used to come to my house every day and smile brightly while calling me “mother-in-law, mother-in-law,” are no longer here.
Since that day, I've felt so empty without you.
“And your mom and dad have gone to a good place.”
Since that day.
The two of you went together, so that he could proudly watch over you from heaven.
“He left with a smile. Don’t worry.”
I even saw you off well.
“Shall we talk about that day?”
There was ‘that day’ when we broke up.
“I was shopping as usual.”
At that time, you and I were arguing over whether or not we should buy a piece of candy.
“Oh. That snack was discontinued? I didn’t know.”
Just hearing the name of that snack would instantly brighten your expression, even on a gloomy day.
How much would you have liked it?
If I had known it would turn out like this, I would have just bought it then.
Why would you say such harsh things to me when I was just buying you a snack?
It's useless now, but I guess I should have just fed you more back then.
“That time…wasn’t it the first time there were so many people running towards us?”
The mart was safe. Everyone must have wanted to avoid danger.
“Behind all those people… ‘danger’ came along with it.”
You broke your arm trying to avoid being pushed around by a bunch of people who suddenly barged in.
And so I got sucked into that ‘danger’.
“Still, thank you for not giving up and looking for me until the end.”
As soon as you realized you'd lost me, you used all the strength you had left in your other arm to find me among the crowd.
I still vividly remember your trembling voice, as you embraced me and comforted me, saying, “It’ll be okay, it’ll be okay,” among so many people.
Unfortunately, I was so engrossed in your embrace at the time that I didn't know what was going on with you.
Even though your neck was deeply cut and bleeding profusely.
“It hurt a lot.”
The scar from that time is still vivid in my eyes.
“Thank you for jumping in for me.”
“Thank you for taking that risk to protect me.”
“….Thank you for embracing me back then.”
His voice began to tremble more and more.
“Thank you for enduring the pain and saving me, no.”
“Jungkook.”
I lowered my head and called his name.
“Why…did you do that?”
Tears fall down.
"why…“You wanted to save me that much, didn’t you?”
“Why would you sacrifice your body?”
Why didn't you tell me you were sick?
“You don’t think I would have done that? Do you think I would have wanted to live a selfish life alone?”
Is it still the case that you just hide it without anyone knowing?
“It’s okay if you worry meHow many times have I told you to tell me if you're sick?”
You don't remember that anymore, do you?
“Jungkook.”
jungkook jeon.
The tears I had been holding back began to pour out.
“Why did you leave me so early?”
Why did you leave me less than a year after we confirmed our love for each other?
“How can I live without you now?”
“Who can love me now, and who can I love?”
“I… I can’t do without you. Jungkook, I…”
In the end, I hung on to him and cried.
I cried like that for a long time, shedding tears.
In the meantime you
There is no movement at all.
“…….”
You decided not to cry.
I barely managed to calm myself down and opened my trembling lips with difficulty.
“I’ll shake it off and get up.”
You can hate me for saying this.
From now on, I will live well as if I were worth it.
Finally, I came to say hello to you for the very last time.
To make sure that you don't mind that you left me first
I came to tell you that I will try hard.
In fact, we,
“Today is our last day and we will never meet again.”
you, I knew it?
“I heard you were going to go far away from today.”
I came here today to say my final goodbyes to you.
“I will miss you. Forever.”
I'll miss you, but
Now I won't spend my days and nights crying over you.
I hate myself for surviving alone, but
In the airI won't cry and beat myself up.
The food won't go down my throat,
I'll make sure to eat well too.
I can't sleep, but
I'll sleep well too.
And above all,
I won't spend my days feeling gloomy and guilty towards you.
It's not like you left me because you wanted to.
Am I right?
I stroked his head with one hand.
"hi."
Now, he has become a zombie.
He will be isolated from the world.
"Your 0901 visitation time is up. Please come out."
He will go far, far away.
Love me the most,
And the one I loved the most,
You, Jeon Jungkook.
