Season 3_Jang Ma-eum, an orphan with a family of 13

#55_(Mixed) First Love

Unlike the first shoot, the shoot was completed quickly and I returned home earlier than expected.


But Seok-woo's words still lingered in my mind.



I knew very well that what Seok-woo said was not a rational emotion.




But he replied that he liked someone, and sweetly said he would like her in return for her confession. In the end, with a heavy heart, I asked him.

“Do you have a girlfriend, oppa?”

Could it be because of the excitement? The drowsiness and fatigue that had been keeping me awake have vanished into thin air.

“No? I don’t have time to date a girlfriend because I’m working.

“The singer in charge is such a workaholic~”

Seok-woo's playful and affectionate reply had a strangely poignant quality. He was bringing himself up, because resting for myself was something I could never allow myself.




I continued asking questions without paying any attention.

“I heard you have someone you like?”

“Oh, that. If I get a request like that,

“That’s the fastest way to say it.”

I thought the fastest way to say that I have a girlfriend would be to say that I have a girlfriend, but I kept that in mind because I thought that might cause a misunderstanding.

“Does that mean you don’t have anyone you like?”

“…Not yet?”

I hated people who gave me room to do things.




But I wish they had left room for even the slightest possibility.



In the midst of all this, there is silence before the word ‘yet.’




For a girl in love, that little silence left a lot of room for thought.

“What is your ideal type, oppa?

“I like younger people, I like friends, I like older people?”

I'm not necessarily dating my ideal type, but I was curious about his ideal type because it's the best way to make someone's heart flutter.




Even though he doesn't see me as a young woman yet, I want to make him excited when he gets a little older.

“Well, I like younger people.

But why all of a sudden?”

I ignored his counter-question and asked him only about my business.

“Do you like cute things, pretty things, sexy things?”

When asked what kind of appearance he likes, he answered without hesitation, “Personality.”

“Hey, mind…?”

Only after his cautious call did I come to my senses and apologize to him.

“Sorry. But did you answer well?”

“Because you’re curious. It’s not like I can’t tell you.”

“He’s really sweet, so kind…”

“I’m not that affectionate, nor am I that kind.”

Of course, being kind and affectionate depends on who the other person is, and it may not be human nature, but at least to me, he was a kind and affectionate person.

“You do that to me.”

Seok-woo's smile reflected in the mirror was beautiful. This was an undeniable fact.




But why? Why does his smile feel fake, and why does the sense of alienation spread like black paint in water?



I started to get really confused.

‘…Am I trusting my intuition too much?’

Normally, I would have trusted my intuition. I've always done that. But this time, I didn't want to do that.



I wanted to calm my intuition with reason. So I just stared out the window, cooling my overheated emotions and intuition.





Then I came into the house and went into the shower stall without doing the usual series of actions.

‘… My intuition has never been wrong.

But this could be the first time it's been wrong.

‘Can’t I just… do whatever I want?’

My worries ended with just one short sentence. I liked him enough to shake my very values.





In fact, there was another worry that was more serious than the confusion of those emotions right now.

‘Your skin is really damaged.

If you keep doing this, you'll look bad on camera.

‘Grow up first, even if it’s just for the sake of the next thing.’

Si-eun's older sister's words echoed in my head. I couldn't ignore them.




Even if I didn't look good on camera, I might have collapsed at this rate. I was pushing myself too hard to keep up with my schedule.





Even when viewed by others, the PD received several texts, asking him to cut back a little, even for his health. There were also threatening texts, expressing concern that the staff were struggling.




The Seventeen oppas promised not to talk about work, so there was nothing else to say, but they were also worried about my health.

“Should I really hold back?”

I was just blankly staring at the shower head. I try not to avoid incoming dramas, but I guess I should hold back, not just for myself, but for Seok-woo oppa, and for the sake of my staff.






At that moment, I heard the door open, then immediately close again.

“I’m sorry, Heart! I didn’t know you were here!”

It was Jeonghan's oppa's voice. I chuckled to myself. When I got home, Seventeen hadn't come home yet, so I left the bathroom door unlocked, and this unfortunate incident happened.





I hadn't even seen him naked, and since he was in the shower, I could only faintly see his apricot color, but I couldn't stop laughing at his face, his ears red as if they were going to burst.





Jeonghan, who must have been flustered, was thinking of his brother, so he quickly finished showering, got dressed, and was about to leave for the living room.




KakaoTalk!





I heard a KakaoTalk notification sound from someone, and when I checked who it was, it was Seokwoo oppa.

‘Did you get in okay?

I finished filming early today, so I'm taking a break today.

I intentionally skipped filming tomorrow, so I'll rest tomorrow too.

If you think about practicing, you'll get in!!!'

I could feel his affection for me in Seok-woo's text message, which included three exclamation points. "Don't even think about practicing. Just rest your body first," he said. I replied with a chuckle.

"Thank you so much, oppa. You should go in and get some rest, too."

After leaving a reply, I took my phone out to the living room in case I received a text message from Seok-woo.

“M, I’m sorry, Ma-eum!”

As soon as I saw Ma-eum's face, I felt my face flush and immediately apologized to her. She seemed to find my reaction amusing, and a sly laugh escaped her lips.

"It was an accident. There's no need to apologize. I didn't even know..."

“Don’t talk! Don’t talk!”

Why do I, a grown man four years older than you, feel more embarrassed?

“…I didn’t see that.”

Eventually, she qualified it with the pronoun "that" and sighed.

“Okay, you came in early today.

“Did you finish filming early?”

“Yeah. The smoke is increasing.

And there is no tomorrow.

Seokwoo oppa cleared my schedule so I could rest~”

I felt sad for no reason because his voice was full of nasal sounds.



I don't even know if she's that happy when she talks about us, but she looks so happy, like she's talking about her crush or a crush.



Still, I didn't want her to find out, so I barely managed to raise the corners of my mouth and smile.

“You seem so happy when you talk about that person.

You know too?”

“Oh, really…?”

“Do you like that person?”

I asked her, desperately hoping that it wasn't true. I just wanted her to be happy the whole time, telling her that she was precious to me.




I hope you'll be this happy when we talk. I hope you'll smile brightly, especially when you talk about me.

“…Yeah, he’s handsome.”

She never judged people solely on their looks. She always looked at their character, their personality, and their attitude and thoughts toward her.




A warm person rather than a handsome one, and a person who respects herself rather than a warm person. Does he really meet her standards?

“What’s your personality like? Are you good to me?”

The question I'm asking is not how you treat me as a manager, but as a person, as a man to a woman, if I hate to admit it, how well you treat me in that relationship.

“Yeah. He said kind words and took great care of me.”

“Can I ask you an example…?”

I never confessed my feelings to her, and she probably didn't even notice my feelings.



I never knew how devastating it was to have someone I loved fall in love with someone else. It felt like even the tiniest bit of hope was being snatched away. What could be more miserable?




But, what I want is your happiness. The reason I want to stand by your side as a man is because I want to protect you and ensure your happiness. I don't ask for anything more. As long as you're happy, that's all I want.

“Come a little earlier than class time

Every time I buy snacks, I come home after finishing my schedule.

“Tell them that they worked hard and tell them to get some rest.”

This wasn't a question about the relationship between a manager and a singer. It was a question about a person to person. Everything you're saying is just good things for the relationship between a manager and a singer.





But from your perspective as a young girl in love, you see it as just her acting out of liking you. That might be why you feel like it's just a fling.

“He’s especially handsome, isn’t he?”

But I wanted to cheer for her happiness first, because I didn't know when even that small affection would develop into love.




Of course, being by his side won't be all happiness, but if you want to, if you can just smile by his side, then so be it.

“Brother, you’re not jealous, are you…?”

Rather than being jealous, I just wish for your happiness. I'm still by your side as a good older brother, so I don't have the right to be jealous yet.

"What's the point of jealousy? We've grown as much as you have~"

“No, your face doesn’t look so good.”

“Is it because you’re preparing for a comeback?

“Our goal is to make a comeback in May.”

“…Okay. If you’re sick, tell me right away. Got it?”

“Who should be saying that?

I'm falling down now

“You are closer, Jang Ma-eum.”

Ma-eum pushed me away without any ill will, but then she spoke in a voice that was still cute, although it was mixed with annoyance.

“So I’m thinking about cutting down on my schedule too.”

“I thought about it carefully. It’s not just this year.”

Maeum looked at me with a smile that seemed to convey gratitude. Then, when a KakaoTalk notification rang on the phone she was holding, she immediately turned her gaze in that direction. And soon, a beautiful smile spread brightly.





It seems like it's been a while since that smile was directed at me... But I'm glad I can still smile.

"who is this?"

I ask her just in case, even though I know exactly who she is. If her answer is who I think she is, I'll be in even worse shape.

“Who do you think it is?”

“Mr. Kim Seok-woo?”

After answering with a bright heart, he quickly went into his room, leaving me to endure the helpless misery.

‘You don’t even look at me.

It's not even a crush, I just like you

‘There is someone here who can cherish and love you.’