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In my eyes, you are reflected, and in your eyes, Haeyeon is reflected.
There is love in your eyes, and sadness in mine.
I strained to cover my mouth with both hands, afraid even a breath would escape. A quiet silence. A silence that only I had been anxious about, and only they had anticipated. Slowly catching your breath, you opened your mouth as if you had steeled yourself.
I like you, Haeyeon.
Thump. As I faced the moment I desperately wanted to avoid, tears flowed down my hand like a downpour. They would never know, even if I died, how miserable I was, alone, collapsing against a wall. My heart ached, tingling. My sobs leaking out between my tightly clasped fingers. No one would know.
No. I thought you wouldn't know.
"... me too."
"...."
"I like it too."
I thought I was the only one who would remember and reflect on this misery.
"See you tomorrow, Haeyeon. Have a good weekend."
You, who sent Go Hae-yeon away with a bright smile, recited my confession in a voice as cold as ice. "You saw it, Yeoju." Thump. Thump. As if feeling a threat to my life, the fear gradually, slowly, consumed me.
"See? No matter how much you struggle,"
"...."
"You can't be with me even if you die."
"taehyoung kim."
"Is this okay? I'm going crazy."
"...."
"It really hits the nail on the head."
Every word, like a sharp knife, stabbed my entire body. My head spun, and my heart, either exhausted or mad, stopped beating. All my attention was focused solely on you.
After you left, I cried more than anyone else in the world.
And I prayed.
To me, not to you or Haeyeon.
please
Stop liking me.
Stop waiting.
Let's stop.
Please put an end to my poor, miserable, lonely unrequited love.
The root of the problem. The first meeting. Yes. My first meeting with Kim Taehyung was ordinary. It wasn't particularly grand or dramatic. In fact, it was so ordinary that it made me laugh out loud. We sat next to each other in the same class. That was it. But, amidst that ordinariness, your genuine smile.
"Please take care of me."
It was so surreal that it almost wrecked my thinking. The smile that appeared for a fleeting moment was so beautiful. Ah. Did everyone define this moment as love at first sight?
"... me too."
... okay.
I could define this moment as my first love for Kim Taehyung. No, I had to define it. Because I couldn't think of anything else besides that sentence.
I shouldn't have done that.
I shouldn't have defined him as someone I fell in love with at first sight.
Since then, me, who couldn't hide my expressions, and Kim Taehyung, who was quick-witted. Me, who was desperate to hide my emotions, and Kim Taehyung, who was scary honest about his feelings. Kim Taehyung, who could see through all my flaws. He. You. Poking my weak points. And then he laughed. As if he found it funny. I could endure that gaze, but one day, he came to me and asked.
Why do you like me?
At that moment, my vision distorted. I thought I was trying to hide it, but I wanted to. You smiled shamelessly, as if nothing had happened, as if nothing had happened. I felt goosebumps rise up my spine and my body stiffen. I, I...
"Please keep liking me."
"... uh?"
"I don't like you though."
"...."
"Go on."
A sudden surge of emotion washed over me, making my vision spin. Everyone was whispering. The whispers grew louder and louder. You were among them.
Annoyingly, you were beautiful even at that moment,
Regrettably, you were smiling even at that moment.
Covering my ears and mouth, I ran frantically out of the classroom. When I finally felt like I was struggling to catch my breath, I slowed down, and then I burst into loud sobs, like a tsunami. I forgot this place was school. The beginning of my unrequited love—or rather, the unrequited love I thought was unrequited—was over.
It was a feeling no different from what I was feeling just now: pitiful, miserable, and lonely.
Two days had passed since I overheard that cruel confession and was hurt, and Monday arrived. Goodbye. Thud. My heart felt like it was plummeting to the bottom. A voice so terribly familiar. I raised my head slightly, and in an instant, I was met with Kim Taehyung's face. I almost gasped without realizing it. Not from surprise, but from the audacity of it all.
"...."
"Are you angry?"
"...."
"Just ignore it."
"...be quiet."
"...."
"My head hurts."
His face shifted subtly, but I, more driven by emotion than curiosity, returned my head to its original position. I couldn't imagine what kind of reaction I'd receive if I saw Kim Taehyung again, if I started crying again. Thump. The door swung open violently, and at the same time, a heavy breathing sounded. Before I could even recognize who it was, the breathing grew closer, and the source of the sound was someone who grabbed Kim Taehyung and pulled him up violently. It was Go Haeyeon.
"Fuck, dude."
"Are you here?"
"No matter how much I think about it, I can't understand."
"what?"
"You don't know, so what the hell are you asking?" The awkward swearing continued unabated, filling the room. Where had the girl, curled up in embarrassment, been? Now, with a murderous glare, Go Hae-yeon was chasing Kim Tae-hyung, and I was overcome with both bewilderment and bewilderment. "Saying we'll break up after a day?" Is that something a mortal would say?
"Unfortunately, that's something a little kid would say."
"hey!"
"Calm down, Haeyeon."
"Really? Did you say really?"
"Haeyeon,"
"So you're tormenting me and asking me to confess to you. You're asking me to date you for a few weeks. Do you like it when I play with your heart like that?"
"Confession."
"So you get the picture now? Huh?"
Tell me yourself, you're the one here.
Don't cross the line, Go Hae-yeon.
The line you passed by so much.
Stop. Stop. It was clearly a fight between the two of them, but I was the one suffering. Their gazes were fixed on me, and there was pity in them. A rumbling in my stomach, and I covered my mouth.
Why did you go that far?
Why are you doing this to me?
Taehyung.
"Lady,"
"Taehyung."
"...."
"Why are you doing this to me?"
"...."
"Why did you do that?"
"...."
"Was it really that funny when I said I liked him?" Kim Taehyung looked flustered by my question. A hollow laugh escaped his lips. I felt his affection turn to contempt in real time, rippling through my entire body.
"My lady."
"...I don't like you anymore."
"... what?"
"Believe it or not, do as you wish."
"...."
"But, let me tell you one thing for sure."
"...."
I deeply regret the moment I fell in love with you. In fact, even now, my heart was racing for him, but I turned away. No, I had to turn away. Tell the teacher I'm leaving early. I'm not feeling well. I left because it was dangerous for my body, my mind, my body, and my mind. I ran like crazy again, and when I was breathless, I stopped.
pup.
김태형 넌 정말 개새끼야.
What's different from then is,
That I resent him now.
She left. Goyeoju turned her back on me and walked away. My heart pounded and I unconsciously ran after her, but soon enough, she burst into tears. My body froze.
I knew the heroine liked me, and I knew she didn't, so I treated her even worse. It was childish behavior, more like an elementary school student, but the reason I bullied her was simple: I didn't want her to like me. I thought she was no different from the other girls who liked me, so I just bullied her to the point of madness.
"...."
I regret it.
I deeply regret that moment.
You are different from those kids, the price I paid for ignoring the desperate cries I heard.
Knock knock.
My heart, beating towards her, spoke, albeit belatedly.
Lady.
Go Yeo-ju.
I think I like you now.
What is this? This is the worst thing I've ever written. Anyway, thank you all for your hard work!