A person like me
Maybe from the very beginning
I was defective
How did my thoughts end up here, I wonder
Have I gone crazy because of my thoughts
Have I gone crazy myself
More and more questions keep piling up
In a world ruled only by these questions
What, I wonder, can I do
For the rest of the years I have left to live
I don't know how I should live
Am I broken or something
Being unable to predict even one step ahead
makes me powerless
The truth is
I know that life is something you canโt know even a step ahead
Iโm not so stupid that I wouldnโt know that
But Iโm still anxious
Me, who was born defective
not knowing how much more Iโll break, or if I can be fixed
The future
is only dark and frightening
For the next several decades
I don't have the confidence to keep living
doing this
I feel like I need someone, anyone there
A finished product is too perfect, and that makes me uneasy
A defective product makes me worry weโll just drag each other down
..Honestly, those are all excuses
There is something I want
What I want in my life
from my defective self, from me, the one writing this
is
you
I went through writing this introduction because I wanted to say this one thing
I wanted to express this desire to want you
Iโm a desperate defective machine
I want you, I want you, I want to have you
I long for you, I want you, I want to have you
Iโm not actually defective
I am a black mass
I am a person who is just a mass of desire
