I'm going to confess to that guy today.It's winter, and it's a pretty romantic season too, Since it's winter, I'm sure I can keep him warm.
I'm going to confess to the dog.
There was a back view, that scarf he always wore. It was so familiar that I approached without suspicion. As I ran right up behind him, there were so many obstacles.I tripped over a person and snowballs came flying at me. It hurt pretty bad haha..
I went up to him like that and said it straight.
Hey, I like you.
I was so nervous I started stumbling over my words, then there was no response. So I lifted my head a little. But.
It wasn't you.
Yeah, the clothes were definitely yours. But only the clothes were yours, and the person was someone else. As I stood there dazed, beside me you passed by. The look in his eyes was colder than winter.
And then I was hit with a snowball and woke up.
Was it a dream? Or not? My head's a mess.
..
The washing machine was spewing out the laundry that had piled up. Enough to make me want to spew out that memory too. My head felt strangely light, and disheveled was exactly the word for it. Everything except me seemed busy; kids and adults alike, even the cherry blossoms outside the window looked as if they were busy waiting for winter to end.
Even if I'm utterly pathetic.
Even if there's no way I'd be reborn tomorrow, honestly.
Maybe I should sell memoriesโor wait, would they even count as memories? It feels like a dark history.
Just sitting around writing songs is exactly more hateful than dying.
..
Ever since that day, I've been living like this every day, and I haven't been able to pick up the guitar you gave me. Ever since that day, this is really how I've lived every single day, funny, right? But...
..
Even if I act like I'm inspired and scribble down obvious lyrics, when it all circles back, the final destination of the theme is still you. And then I keep pretending the song is not about you. (Stupid, right?) That's probably how I'll keep living today, tomorrow, and the day after.
Tired of it though
..
If I just make up my mind today, confess, and get rejected, then I'll have no regrets left.
Just today, I love you..? ..No, wait, is it I love you? I love you!
If I say it and ..no, if I say it and then regret it, would that be okay?
..I love you.
Honestly, if I'm doing music and all that, all it does is drain me emotionally, so
writing lyrics and playing guitar has no meaning either
I feel like it'd just turn into a forced tearjerker, so this is what I'm going to do this time.
..
I ran back to you and grabbed you. I could feel the cold in your hand and wondered if it was because of me, and my heart sank, but I forced a smile and put the snowball into your hand.
..
There was a flower inside the snow. For you.
