We moved the camping furniture inside the house. It took three days until the police returned my things and we could go into Yoongi's room to get his belongings. PD had called a million times to make sure we were okay, but we'd like to be somewhere where we don't have to sleep practically on the floor. The mattress was new, but it was still uncomfortable having to do without so many things.
Namjoon was calling today. The guys were taking turns talking to us since, besides PD and his manager, they had to tell him what happened. None of our families know what happened. The guys were upset seeing my face all bruised, but they're strong. They communicate, they're respectful of each other, and they're very kind to me because they say I work wonders with Yoongi. I've noticed he's happy with the calls, so when I can, I secretly take some pictures to send to his friends so they can see him too.
I always try to give him some privacy so he can be himself, because he really needs to be able to go outside or open the curtains and see if it's day or night. I talked to Namjoon until Yoongi came out of the bathroom glowing, because he's been using the beauty products regularly. The guy on the screen started laughing, and I just went to take a shower because he'd caught me admiring his friend.
Suga's P/V:
"Hey, what happened? Why did she leave in such a hurry?" I asked our leader, who was having trouble answering because he couldn't stop laughing.
"Thank all the gods you believe in that she's not trying to seduce you. She's totally in love with you. She almost got pregnant because you're showing off that spaghetti you call a body," she finally said.
- I already suspected it; I've seen her sniffing my clothes when she thinks I'm not looking. Since her face is scarred, she spends all day wearing masks... although I appreciate that she's realized I'm frustrated that I couldn't do more to protect her. I also don't want to go through something similar to what happened in my previous relationships... Nam, she's wonderful, but you know very well that I hurt people easily with my words when I can't be with them... you've seen how problematic it is. I notice she's different, but I don't know if she'll be able to handle being alone most of the time.
- You've been together since before we knew if she was going to stay in the country. A twisted man already scarred her, and she has the nerve to fall in love with you... I think Baby deserves at least for you to tell her your true feelings... Yoongi, she's going to shine on her own, and believe me, it's going to be hard to watch her from afar, brother... Go for it. If she's not the girl you're waiting for, then I don't know what kind of alien you're trying to meet.
- She's too perfect... I'm afraid to try, especially knowing that I'd easily rub everyone the wrong way...
"Yoongi is scared of the girl," Taehyung said.
"It's about time you confessed!" Hoseok said.
"I can't believe he's such a nerd," Jin said.
"I'm sure they'll end up married," RM mocked.
"I'm not ready... brother... I still can't believe that a girl who's like an angel has fallen in love with you," Jungkook said.
"Are you being careful? I think we should warn the guard in case he catches you in the act," Jimin said, even though everyone was talking at the same time.
- 🐍🪱🔥🧨💢💥💣🗣❗❗DO YOU WANT TO DIE? - I said while they continued saying stupid things that made me talk like a mobster, I didn't know that everyone was listening to me when I confessed.
We made a lot of noise for quite a while, which made Baby leave the bathroom with a moisturizing face mask, surprised to see us in such chaos.
"Hey, don't shout like that, you almost gave me a heart attack... oh, hi everyone, I thought it was going to be just Namjoon and his majesty this time," she said smiling, going back to the bathroom to finish her beauty routine.
"Yoongi... tell me it covers more than that," RM said.
- Hmm, maybe a sweater? It's one of her pajamas. She ends up half-naked, trying to sleep with the ones who are more covered up. When she knows the guard will be around, because he always warns us, she asks me if I'm showing too much skin... She's already realized he's a good person, so she's not afraid. The thing is, she doesn't know how much skin a Korean can tolerate, because in her country everyone walks around half-naked since it's summer all year round and nobody cares if you like to show skin... People might stare or talk behind your back... someone might even try to ask for your phone number.
"Are you blind? Or do you just not want to see?" Taehyung said, but I don't know what he means.
"Can you handle all that?" Hoseok said, making curve-shaped gestures with his hands.
- Hey! - I gave him a warning
"Stupid Yoongi... and to think that girl has such bad taste in men..." Jin said.
"It would be worse if she had laid eyes on you, you lunatic," she began to laugh uproariously, making the others laugh too.
With a serious expression, Jimin appeared on screen to say...
"Baby can live without you, don't wait until I think she deserves better." And her words really hit me like a ton of bricks. It was what people had been telling me lately, and it was totally true because even though I can't reject her forever, there will always be someone willing to meet a girl like her.
"I remember perfectly... before the operation, she even bothered you because your body reacted to her... Yoongi, doesn't that work for you, brother? Because nobody kisses someone and goes to sleep peacefully if she doesn't want to... I mean, she'd like it... you know... and with you, because she likes you... How could you not realize it? Man, she's gorgeous, don't you think?" Jungkook said.
Think what you want... but be prepared for when I return... I think I have to do something about your behavior towards your beloved Suga. The children have a lot of freedom because I'm not around, but you'll see when I set foot in Seoul...
"That's it..." the six of them said before hanging up. They know how to irritate me, but it's the first time all six of them have felt the same way about the person I like. Many of them didn't like them, especially the youngest trio. Some said they were liars, or they simply disappeared as soon as they knew they were around. For my part, I don't care who they choose unless they're playing games with my friends or treating them badly, because I didn't find their girlfriends' personalities interesting. As long as they're respectful and friendly, enough so when we invite people over to hang out with us.
She was a riot from morning till night. Today she woke up full of energy, turning the kitchen into a rock concert venue. I don't know why she worries about singing if she can hit the notes she tries every now and then. I love that she's so musical; she can be still and calm, but she's happiest when we put on music. She loves it when I try to work because her body immediately moves to the rhythm, even while she's doing her own thing.
She loves being able to get whatever she wants with an order from the computer; she even got books to learn Hangul (Korean) and was religiously studying how to write or read correctly. Sometimes she changes the language she studies when she feels she can't remember what she learns, since her level is better in English, German, and Japanese (I can prove that she loves how it sounds, even though she's not that good at writing or reading, but she consumes a lot of content, which allows her to assimilate it naturally, and she does understand Japanese better).
She finally came out of the bathroom, massaging her legs with the leftover product from her face treatment, saying that the cold weather had changed the texture of her skin and that no matter how much moisturizer she used or how many times she reapplied it, it wasn't as soft as she'd like. To me, she's as soft as a baby. She often offers to massage my hands so I'll let her apply lotion to me when she's doing it for herself, or she'll put on my face treatment when I'm feeling lazy. Being consistent really works, and when the styling team sees me, they're going to rave about how great my face looks.
"Ready to try a typical dinner from my country? I can always give you instant noodles if you don't like it." She bought a whole chicken and beans, as well as lots of vegetables and rice, but not the instant kind we'd received last time. Baby had started preparations that morning because the way she cooked it took time, and we didn't have many kitchen utensils, so she'd cooked the beans beforehand and cut the chicken into even portions.
She always asks me to let the guard know so he can at least have dinner with us, since he always gets takeout because of his job lately. She's been feeding us well to make sure we don't crave unhealthy snacks like Cheetos; she probably prefers to make us snacks instead of buying bags of chips, and that's probably why she lets me eat whatever I want. I've even been drinking only water the whole time; the only alcohol she's asked for is for cooking.
She's quite particular when it comes to taking care of herself and those around her; she also hasn't said anything to me when I want something different, saying that I'm too old to take care of myself.
That was new to her; she does what she wants and doesn't mind if I do too... what she doesn't like is being given orders for no reason. If I ask politely, she'll gladly do anything, but if I act like a complete idiot... she's scary just by looking at you when she refuses. I don't try to force her either; I'm curious, but not stupid enough to fight with her just because I'm bored.
Yes, I'm bored because she stops when she wants me to be more affectionate or kiss her, and she always tries everything to ignore her feelings. Sometimes I think she's sad, and I know it's my fault.
She has a notebook; she usually writes in it when she can't sleep. It's in Spanish, so I don't have a chance to understand her. When I ask, she says it's good for clearing her mind of the thoughts that keep her awake. She's translated some things for me; she's never cared if anyone reads it. Last night, she wanted to go outside to see what the snow is like. The guard says the weather has been getting worse and that we're lucky to have to stay inside. But it's her first winter in a place where it really snows, and she can't even open the windows or curtains to let the snowflakes in. I promised myself I'd take her outside the first chance I get.
The food was delicious. I'm not a big salad fan, but she can cook very well if you give her some time to feel confident in her abilities. The security guard helped make sure nothing she prepared was left over. We were so full that we refused ice cream. She had some, as she eats slowly, and her portion was quite reasonable, although she eats very well compared to the other girls I've shared a meal with.
The guard offered to clean this time before going on his rounds to make sure no one was around. We can't be completely sure that information about my whereabouts won't end up in the hands of someone crazy enough to pay whoever it takes for the information.
Baby wanted to watch a series or a movie because it was still early for bedtime, and we don't have much to do unless the lawyer says something or I have to go to the doctor. She wanted to watch *Wuthering Heights* because she'd read the book but hadn't seen the 2011 movie. Besides, she wanted to learn some Hangul vocabulary, so she'll put it on with English subtitles so she doesn't miss anything. I have no idea what it's about, so I'm intrigued.
She didn't give me any spoilers, but we realized, just by watching it, all the bad things the characters did to each other. At the end, Baby said the novel was very well written. She hated all the characters but liked the book. I felt awful because I recognize that I've done something similarly bad myself. She decided to get comfortable in bed since we weren't expecting any more company until the next day. She looked on her phone for a short video to watch until she got tired.
I tried to concentrate on my work, but my friends' words were overwhelming me. She was laughing at whatever she was watching, so I decided to focus on her because I wasn't capable of much today. She switched to something else, playing some music that really touched my soul, so I got into bed to see what it was about. It was a story in Spanish, but I kept seeing my face appear from time to time. She told me it was a fictional tale using images of celebrities for the characters, while the protagonist didn't have a name so that the reader would use their own while reading. She translated it as best she could; it was so ridiculous because I'm not like that, but that was why it was so entertaining, despite mentioning that the creator didn't even know how to spell correctly. But keep reading.
"You ended our relationship and got me pregnant! What a wonderful man..." he mocked me.
"I would never do something as ridiculous as that idiot Suga," she said. She found it funny to see me disappointed in my character, but everything was resolved in the end when she discovered he had left her because he was dying of cancer and was still hopelessly in love with her. She cried like a fool because it was so sad that she liked the post and left a comment for the author.
- Yoongi...
Stop crying, it's just a story. I'm here, healthy and by your side.
I think I love you
"What? Why are you telling me this?" I liked listening to him like an idiot, but I don't know what's going on in his head.
She got up to clean her nose before coming back to tell me; I had sat down properly to talk to her.
- I'm sorry, I cried so much it's coming out of my nose... What do you want to know?
"It happens to me too, don't worry, come here," I patted my lap, but although hesitant after my insistence, she sat down, blushing deeply because it had been several days since I'd let her get so close.
- Now take it easy and tell me why you think you're in love enough to confess.
"I thought I was simply attracted to you, ever since the day you helped me at the hotel... it was hard to ignore that I liked you because you kept tormenting me. I couldn't believe how many self-portraits you'd taken in such a short time, and I didn't want to delete them. Then we spent more time together, and that's how I got to know you and your life a little better." A few tears fell, but I didn't know if it was from crying so much or because she was finding it hard to tell me.
I wiped one side with the back of my hand and then the other, sliding my thumb over her cheek. She closed her eyes and slightly moved her head to feel my hand holding it.
There was something squeezing me inside; she's beautiful, I want to kiss her, but if I do, I'm sure she'll want more of her, so I just ran my fingers over her lips and gave her time to prepare to continue.
I know the guys noticed I like you and they've done a lot of things so we could spend more time together. The first night we spent together I was so nervous I didn't even think about what I was doing... I did what felt right because I feel good when I'm around you.
"Aren't you afraid she'll use you? That she'll abandon you at any moment? Because I can't go a night and forget her. I couldn't explain how hard it is for me to realize that I like someone enough to let them get to know me." She wanted to take off the sling because it's so big and I can't help but want her to be able to touch me or get close.
What scares me most is not following my intuition and not letting anyone become important enough to me. Should I build a wall so no one can hurt me? I don't want to hurt myself like that... I know things aren't perfect, they never were in the past, and now that I'm here, away from everything that gives me security and comfort, I'm about to face the kind of person I fear most, and yet I still want to take the opportunity into my own hands. I feel confused; sometimes it's hard to understand her because her thoughts are so different from what I've experienced with her so far.
Wait, I think I'm lost, Baby... try explaining it to me again
"I don't only want what's good for me. Because I fell in love with you, I want to take the risk of loving someone without worrying about the outcome. Many things scare me, but not taking care of myself in the way I feel is right... Yoongi, I don't need you to feel the same way. It probably feels fantastic, but that's not who I am. My love is mine, and I share it as I please, not to get it back, compensate for it, or use it." Is this girl really 21? I never thought someone would say something like that to me.
"I like you a lot, probably more than you can imagine, Baby, but I know myself, and that's why I have problems with you. Because I'd like to be nice and at the same time be my worst self, to see if you can love that too. I never wanted to show my bad side before, thinking that part of me should disappear... Not that long ago, I realized it only hurt me more deeply. I get hurt easily, so I let a lot of things go. The guys have already noticed, and maybe that's why they don't like seeing me give up. It's also the first time they've seen me frustrated with myself, so they arranged this date night. At that moment, you had one foot on the plane back home."
But I'm here and I won't be back for a long time...
- and I try not to let myself be carried away by my impulses when you drive me crazy.
"Well, you're not the only one who finds your cold and passionate behavior difficult to handle. I don't know what to do with you; sometimes I just want to play dirty with you." Did she really mean that? What does she think a sweet girl like her can do, huh?
- Confidence won't help you escape me - she smiles, she dared to smile at me, Min Yoongi, he came close to my ear to tell me to prove it, to feel his tongue playing with my earrings.
To hell with everything, this girl is mine and I'll make sure she doesn't remember that other men exist on the planet, because I don't intend to share.