I can't take it out of my mind... Yoongi with another woman. I knew... it hurts.
- mmm... oh, today you are alone?- noticed the nurse.
- well... he can't be always there, better to not get my hopes up on that.
- you came way earlier, maybe he can make it, he seemed quite enthusiastic about following the entire process next to you - she smiled and my heart dropped to my feet. Yes, Yoongi wanted to be here... is going to be his baby in the end.
SUGA'S P/V:
Bb: 11:45 am confirming a possible pregnancy.
- Thanks to heavens...- I said aloud
- mmm.... good news Min?
- The best ones - I also answered to her that I was on my way to the location she sent.
I have been there before so probably she haven't changed her doctor even afterwards the company opened the private medical center, soon will be announced to the public, but they want to have it running perfectly before announcing something that important to common knowledgement.
Baika was waiting her call when I arrived, the corridor was really empty at this hour, probably because before lunch any doctor wants to be too bussy now, eating a snack instead of a proper meal.
I left when our team was planning on having lunch together, perfect timing to go since our turn just ended for today. Because of my early shift, I could see her before she scaped from our apartment without talking with me.
- A pregnancy confirmation? - I said, instead of greeting her.
- sorry... I can't manage myself lately.
- I'm the first to know?
- If it is a way to ask if you are the father, yes... stay silent because anything that comes out of your mouth, lately, only serves to have me more enfuriated than ever.
I took a seat next to her and left my hand open in case she wanted to hold it. She looked at it before taking it, her hands were cold and a little wet.
- Nervous beautiful?- I hushed.
- Terrified - she admitted.
- why?
- Because I forgot to control my period and yesterday my first errand was to buy a pregnancy test... I bought four, different brands... all positive.
- Seriously? - I was surprised she didn't trusted the first one she tried.
- Just in case, we aren't exactly on our "bests moments".
- I love you, thanks for telling me.
- Give your thanks to the nurse, she thought of you I... been trying to ignore your existence.
- Difficult task.
- Yeah... seems the world turns around you - she looked to the other side to not see me even by mistake.
- mmmhmmm, maybe because you are trying to elude the fact, that I'm your husband.
- Brown, Baby!!- she pulled her hand abruptly, to respond the call of the nurse without making an scene.
- Glad you could make it, sir... she seemed a little gloomy coming alone today - the nurse said looking at me like a fan in a meeting.
- Yes, fortunately I could get out of my duties in time, I'm so fortunate to be here... what is going to happen today? - I asked.
- The doctor will explain the procedure, are you exited to have your first baby?
- yes... we are - I helped my wife with her things as the doctor greeted us.
She looked at me confused, I was so happy with the notice but our relationship was in serious trouble.
- When was your last period ? - the doctor asked after testing her again, taking her vitals and taking some blood to sent it to analyze her state properly.
- eh... - Baika sttarted to look for her phone... but I knew it.
- In January, it started the 11th and she was bleeding for 3 to 4 days.
- What?! you are so lucky, I spend a whole week to...- the nurse blurted surprised.
- Heeyeon... they don't want to know about your days... miss, are those dates correct?
- mmm, yes... he has a privileged memory - she didn't moved her eyes from her phone.
- great... do you remember when you had a sexual contact, afterwards that, could be the reason of your pregnancy. I answered, but the doctor needed to hear it from her... even asked if she wanted to be asked those questions in private.
- It's fine, I haven't been with anyone else to have a different answer - she said a little anxious because the doctor suggested other options, even when she could... I know that is true, any time something happened she told me or I was present.
Even if she kissed someone else... I knew everything about her until 10 days ago when Jennie appeared in our house.
- Oh... sorry... I know how it sounds... but actually, I have seen all the possible things even women that have been abused.
- Fortunately.... I am not one of those. - she mumbled but I think that everyone in the room got it, even if it wasn't her intention.
- well.... everything is apparently perfect, the baby has a good size to be 4 weeks old... it's placed firmly in a good area... let's hear his vitals...
- The baby... has vitals already?- I asked surprised
- Yes, the first organ to be created it's a small heart that will drive the nutrients to grow.... it's not exactly a beat... only fluids moving on their own... this is your wife's strokes ... and this... the baby.
- Yoongi... are you hearing it?- Baika asked crying
- Can I record it? - I blurted.
- Relax... I am recording the exam, I will send a copy and pictures to her email later. Al right, dress up and I'll give my recommendations.
After asking her how she feels and her routines, I noticed that she did her best to be careful, didn't wanted to eat much, was tired, stressed but not enough to worry.
Her pregnancy explains why she would sleep at random times, her struggles to be strong and her feelings... It wasn't only the situation with Jennie, her relationship with Jin and Jungkook or our relationship... her hormones probably are bringing her to the edge.
- How do you feel about this?- She asked me, I was driving my car because it was what she used to come here, to the exclusive clinic. It was really expensive but it was one of the best ones in the city and wasn't far from our apartment.
- Happy, scared and surprised, but so happy... thanks love, for sharing the notice - I carresed her hand briefly because I need it to drive correctly and safely.
- If this occurred a few days ago... would be different, now I feel uncomfortable, because I don't know what is going to happen with our relationship... And I don't want to force you to be responsible of something that is entirely my dream coming true.
- I have been taking advantage of your feelings, but you haven't created that new soul alone and secretly.
- How in the world you can remember my cicles and hot encounters better than me? It's freaking awesome and scary too, what else do you remember so accurately?
- About us, every single detail and probably, what my dreams fuels - I smirked, I don't need to turn my head to know, that she is recoiling are all our most embarrasing secrets as a proper couple.
- You have such a hard skull, I will not worry next time someone tries to blackmail me about it.
- Don't dare to laugh Yoongi... I love that sound and your existence, right now, takes me to the edge between Heaven and Hell.
- Makes me happy to know your thoughts, honestly the silent treatment is painful, even for a jerk like me.
- Jerk doesn't describe anything about your persona or entrire existence... I don't know if maybe in the past... you know, teenagers hormones and all the lack of lifespan expirience... would make you a jerk.
- I used to scold people to follow the school rules, so adamantly... to have the last word on any argument and my gramps behavior... yeah wanted to be able to forget it... but I want to know, What would describe me better?
- "Smart pants"... you know more than you show so I cannot measure the cost of my actions and words I use agaisnt you.
- Against me?
- All I have been doing since I realized that you are interesting and funny... is trying to block myself from adore, benerate and love you... insanely.
- So my handsomely face doesn't have any power on you?
- Don't tease me.... Yoongi... I followed you to see you walk away from me... I don't think your aparience needs more influence on my judgment but your voice on day-to-day life... that's a killer movement on your list of powerful things to love about men.... correct that, to love about your persona.
- so... you don't hate me.
- Of course not!! Yoongi... I am hurt, not... an idiot, I can tell things appart.
- Hurt... because you saw someone try something ridiculous.
- It's not someone... It's a dammit super Korean, talented, wonderful person and gorgeous super famous female Idol.
- She is not my type and I wouldn't fall for so little, just wanted to make her believe that she has a privileged talent to make Jimin regret messing with her.
- Don't mention him... I managed to be on good terms with him again.
- Jimin is... too protective, but and idiot sometimes... endure him, I'm not interested on loosing our friendship.
- I noticed.So... no more questions about my pregnancy - wow she is not getting me out the hook.
- Come to sleep at our room tonight, all the nights in your lifespan to be exact, then I will gladly answer any doubt in your mind.
- Yoongi... that is...
- You know what it means. Promise me that you will share your space and mine, until we decide otherwise.
- Be glad I am still in the apartment, out of rage, in case you would dare to bring another woman inside the house without my knowledgement.
- You mean a woman that doesn't have a reasonable reason to be invited to the house or what?, be clear.
- Anyone that is going to take a toll on my self-confidence to get your love and attention when we are in the same room.
- Why? - I looked where to stop to talk with her.
- Because I am absolutely abusing the limits of our relationship, because I succeeded to fail to myself permitting so much, to Jin and Jungkook because I love those idiots for no reason at all, because I am scared to keep adding to my mistakes and sins enough to loss you.... there are more reasons and details, but I don't have all day to list everything.
- Abusing... that's a big fat word to describe anything, but I am fine with our situation darling.
- I'm scared and uncomfortable with it most of the time.
- Most, but not always... why?
- Because it's easy to not think and only take the chance to try something not disgusting... They aren't exactly despicable people.
- Definitely... If I could notice the smallest issue, I would have protected you. You should know that.
- You can't be summoned to be my safety blanket or to reinforce our bond every single time I need.
- So you need me there... that's quite interesting, but some privacy is not a problem for me, I trust your intelligence.
- It's a huge, entire new deal... I am not exactly a player.
- Why? I can imagine it by myself, I can ask for details, observe it even... what's the real problem?
- That they are not you, as much as I try to convince myself... maybe I'm scared to run towards this inferno, out there need to be stronger. I can't ignore it, is a survival thing beyond my reasoning.
- Dammit woman... you have me, always on the edge to disgrace you... Ana... you deserve the best, so I'm not going to fake your death and keep you hidden somewhere forever, so no one, can look at my treasure but I'm so tempted...
- Awfully to admit, that... sounds like I would not hate any of that, with you. Call me crazy.
I couldn't find my words, I drove us home safely and thinking about all my wildest fantasies... not like I ever tried anything dangerous but this woman, makes me revolt into my darkness like no other... like she fits also there, to be what fuels my imagination to it's limits.
- Don't bite Yoongi... it's painful - she says but doesn't move and inch to stop me.
- mmmhmmm is the best I can handle myself - woah... I missed her, her flesh is so tempting.
- Before I lose all my strength to keep my hands to myself.... answer me something.
- mmm... love when you know, that you can't manage my presence.
- I can manage your presence, my desires instead.... - she kissed me... and holly dammit woman... I was so in for more, when she stopped to lick her lips and smiled shyly. I cursed really badly inside my head.
- Do your questions before I forget how to be gentle.
- Did you returned her...affection? in any sense and be awfully honest.
- No, but I almost had to junk a piece of my skin to get her lipstick off, that stuff dried on me... and was like a permanent marker. I decided to see was she was up for and cuped her in my lap and arms gently. She is pretty, I'm not going to deny it.
- I would die before trying that on you or anyone... gives a lot of the worst ideas to others and sends a clear message of not respect about oneself that... "es una fresca".
- I don't know what that means, but looks like you hated it all, sorry you saw that. I just wanted to let her feel like she was on top to get you out the hook.
- Hated it ...you can't even imagine what I felt... I wish you would never be on my skin to understand it completely.
I dropped to my knees and apologizedz right to do a deep reverence at her feet.
- Never ever again Yoongi... do not do this, don't kneel on me, unless you are helping me with my shoes. You are so large that will be uncomfortable to rise my leg high enough to save you from that position.
I grabbed her long skirt to pull her down to my arms.
- Use violence next time, It's an order, I am yours and my short intelligence is... - I couldn't finish, she was in the same position as Jennie once tried on me, the opposite side of my face this time, I looked into her eyes.
The way she cryes is sexy as hell, painful to be the cause and not good enough to follow a simple petition like that one... be loyal, dammit idiot, she loves you... only goodness knows why she only sees reasons to not asesinate me sometimes.
- No... that's not cool - she admitted, I laughed.
- Well, could be entretaing and amusing to see you become a cliché.
- ah... Yoongi... we are adults, not teenagers.
- Dammit butterflies... what I'm supposed to do with you now? Are we actually going to make up?
- Maybe... I need a shower, all that frozen as hell jelly, feels gross even if I wiped it, plus you aren't helping with the extra and unnatural wetness inside my...- I kissed her before she would me teach me some human biology.
I carried her easily in my arms, like the princess she hates to be. She held onto me to become small and easier to carry, because she was so close to me.
We stripped each other, she smelled the clothes and I teased her about it.
- I told you about my mental problems, let me be.
- mmm... I am right here, come and smell me directly dummy - I joked.
- ah.... you are bad with smells unless it's citric or minty... but try mine, for the fun of it - curious I did...mmm jasmine? Vainilla perhaps? It's definitely sweet and fresh not bery strong... mmm, peachy, I thought.
- mmm... nice - I admitted.
- As long as is not socks, underwear shouldn't be too awful, but since you don't feel like doing it... my sweat probably will stink too, so consider sport garments a posible bad thing to try.
- I have seen you smelling undies.
- Clean ones, to tell them apart from the other bts members when we lived together.
- It's still noticeable?
- I know yours... Jimin and Jungkook use perfume even there. Hobi's are different style, Jin and Namjoon use a bigger size and different brands so Taehyung is probably the owner if you aren't... he must like them tight because you are way... thinner.
- that's... he doesn't work out to have a fine ass.
- really? do you?
- mmm my body is a big jar of insecurities so, yeah, I plan to be in a decent state as much as possible.
- 74 or 75 kilograms should be acceptable for your height
- I look awfully round if I am over 60. Specially on camera.
- Not exactly hate your efforts in the gym, but I don't mind some extra heaviness here and there.
- talking of which... are you happy being pregnant? I mean you are young and it's said that your body isn't going to be the same. Are you okay with that?
- Yes... I mean... obviously, I want to look lovely and at some point, sexy to you... but that's it.
BABY'S P/V:
- Now that you mentioned your body....
- ahh... too cold - I tried to scape the dropping water and Yoongi, pulled me against him, kissing him but I pleased Agust, always my friend, warming us in the shower, Yoongi heated up the water for my comfort.
I was ready to play safe and just masage his body as I soaped him all over, fortunately he returned the pleasure, trying to be respectful... but he wanted me, I don't really know his reasoning to not fuck me hard, agaist the marbled wall but I want to seduce him.
- Yoongi.... please...
- Please?... Babe... what do you want? I am trying to be patient... you are mad at me... still - he was reluctant to fuck it up again, now that we are at least talking things out.
- Babe... - I begged moving his right hand lower and lower on my back, lifting my leg on the same side, enough to hug his waist.
- Fuck!- he kneeled and hooves my leg on his shoulder to make art with his fingers and mouth, I reduced the amount of water spreaded over us from the ceiling faucet, it was a soft warm summer rain now.
- Yoongi... oh yes...- I said or moaned... I couldn't care less, if I was embarrassing myself for so little.
- Are you uncomfortable?- he suddenly asked looking at me... I think so, I moved his hair out of his face.
- Don't think of anything else, Yoongi... please... please let's do it.
He cursed but didn't resisted the opportunity, we messily eased our urges in the shower, he loved that I crossed all my rules against marking his skin with my nails and teeth.
He filled me up, his heart beating like trying to get out of his body, his tongue licking the water on my neck as I loudly expressed my pleasure to the neighborhood.... I don't think the bathrooms are exactly well soundproofed.
- Dammit... why did you let me? Mmm? Beautiful...you know what? I adore you... you are usually demanding about when is a good time... but love, are you sure? I don't think you have nearly forgiven me, not even a little.
- I'm tired of missing you!! - I cried like a child, clinging into him.
- Dammit woman, don't cry, I'm here.- he hugged me and opened the faucet it was a downpour, so I cannot tell if he was fine or ugly, crying too... but I will bet for the latest. He was trembling... maybe it was me.
Once dried and more calmed he was cooking something light and easy. I sniffed a little but I didn't wanted to cry more, it was the afterwards response after empting all that was jolted, inside and pushed back to my feet to be angry with him.
He abandoned the stove for a moment to rub his large and warm hand, following my spine and I sighed in content. I love when he runs his hands on me, it's super comforting.
- mmmhmmm do that again soon - I commented and he laughed.
- okay love, are you hungry?
- I'm not sure, but probably will be famished after tasting whatever it's on the pot.
- You like my cooking skills that much?
- Yeah, I love your flavor and the unhealthy amount of perfectly cooked meat even if, from now on, I should have it overcooked but not burned... I don't know if I will be able to enjoy my meals anymore.
- why?
- morning sickness... my mother used to skip lunch and take a walk in the park instead, with me and had to sleep in a seating position with my little sister's pregnancy or... she could throw everything out all night long instead.
- sucks to be you, then.
- don't tease me... be nice.
- I am being nice... I am cooking beautiful.
- aish... so gorgeous, but talkative.
- Don't pout, you love me.
- Thanks to that, I'm pregnant.
- Look at me - I raised my head from my arms.
- you are the best thing that happened to me - he says.
I cursed, and he laughing asked if it was that bad to be the main character in his fairytale.
- I can't handle it... hate me a little sometimes. I turned my shoulder on you for 12 days this time.
- Thought it would be bad enough to search your whereabouts all over my country and yours... your silence is nothing compared to being abandoned.
- I love you... so I can't manage to leave you so easily... I am damaging myself trying to put distance, it's mentally exhausting and physically painful. I dreamed that you would stand by the door of my room long enough for me to remember that we were together. Actually I could somehow sleep alone without nightmares.
- It wasn't a dream, I wanted to see you, make sure you returned even if I didn't get the reason.
- I was sure you had a explanation for your oddly behavior with Jennie... my insecurities increased because Jin and Jungkook are changing things and rules in our relationship. I don't know right from wrong at this point. I am too unexpirienced to handle this, I need more from you, to endure meeting those two aliens.
- Aliens... why it is so difficult?
- Because Jin only shows me what he wants, not the whole picture. And Jungkook... wow, he is a Rollercoaster.
- Jin haven't changed. Jungkook is a super star, the luckiest guy I have ever met and awfully strong, so careful teasing him. He is a child without a regular childhood, just like you.
- Wait until he hears about my pregnancy... goodness knows what will cross his mind.
- The pure heart in him will tone down his wild ideas so, don't worry and relax when he is around.
- It's difficult, in the past we shared our music taste, the love for dancing and singing around, sometimes watching tv or films, the curiosity to play cool instruments or the laziness to study but not a meaningful bond.
- You have to figure them out by yourself... I mean my role is different they are my family, my problem and my best aid. You are my wife... and they need something from us.
- And what is that?
- My superior ideas and your dammit hability to repair... beyond destroyed souls.
- Yoongi... don't be dramatic. I am not that special, it's you guys that don't give any opportunities to anyone.
- Here, your share... careful it's hot.
- Yummiest thing ever, congratulations.
- I'm glad... Baika... If you feel like I deserve a punishment... I...- we kissed, suddenly... he made me stradle him. Dammit... I missed this too.
I miss having him and being nice to him. I missed his hands, his warming up existence. I love it, I love everything about Yoongi... even his reasoning to be unreasonable about the terms and limitations of our relationship. I want to make him mine... Dammit!