Breakup formula
W. Manggaejjitteok
A small hand reached out to me as I held my breath and cried. The hand I'd never been able to hold during my difficult times now felt like a ray of hope. I held the small hand with both hands, as if it were a treasure, and brought it to my cheek. I knew she was clearly drunk, intoxicated by the atmosphere, but... I couldn't stop myself.
“Ugh… Shut up, tell me. Am I an obstacle to you?…”
“…Niya.”
A hoarse, alcohol-addled voice squeaked through my lips. It was too soft to be heard, but I knew this: at least my obsession with you wasn't violent. Impulsively, I lay down, placed my hand next to the face that was staring at me with half-open eyes, and approached.
“…Can I kiss you?”
If I were sober, I would have been beaten to death for my actions, but I was certain. I was certain you wouldn't reject me after drinking. Drinking is the only time you can be honest with yourself.
Soon, I felt warmth on the lips that were asking for permission. You approached me before I could even approach you, and I, too, felt no guilt as I pressed our lips together. The warm breath that flowed between our lips made the kiss, which had been intended to be just a kiss, even more intense.It became thicker, darker, and wilder.
“Jungkook… I want to do it.”
Perhaps swept up in the atmosphere and unable to find her senses, the heroine grabbed the hem of my shirt and spoke. She wanted to do the same, but for the sake of the heroine who would surely regret it the next morning, she had to stop. "... No." She said firmly and was about to leave, but soft lips touched hers once again.
Before I knew it, the heroine was on top of me, showering me with kisses. I thought about grabbing her arm to stop her, but I couldn't bring myself to touch her. It was something I'd been longing for, but now that it was happening, I couldn't push her away.
Finally, losing my temper, I took off my shirt, threw it under the bed, and climbed on top of him. It was an action I'd surely regret tomorrow. Nevertheless, I felt I'd regret it even more if I missed this moment, so I reached out and accepted his touch.The night we spent together after a long time was so short and sweet.
The female protagonist, unaware of yesterday's situation, rolled her eyes. She wanted to kick the ceiling with her own drinking habit, which would lead her to this house whenever she had a drink. But if she did, Jungkook would wake up too... Just as she was cautiously climbing down the bed, a cautious hand touched her wrist.
“…Are you going?”
"uh?…"
Jungkook, who had just woken up, was holding my wrist. His hands, which had been rough just a few days ago, were now as cautious as if he were holding a baby. This touch felt unfamiliar, and at the same time, a strange feeling washed over me. As I cautiously nodded, you slowly removed your hand from my wrist and spoke.
“…I see. I understand.”
My heart was heavy. It wasn't like this even when I said we should end things, but seeing you suddenly let go so easily, my heart felt like it was being torn apart. I told you to let go, to let go, but now that things have actually gone my way, what is this pain I feel?
I fled from Jeongguk's house, leaning my head against the officetel wall. What on earth do I want? I squeezed my eyes shut. Maybe I was just taking it for granted. Jeongguk hovering next to me. As I was lost in that deep thought, the phone in my hand vibrated.
[Miss Yeoju, I had fun yesterday.]
“…Mr. Joo-hyuk.”
This is truly unacceptable. Giving hope to someone you don't even care about. I moved my finger to send a text. "I'm sorry. Let's pretend our blind date didn't happen yesterday. I'll make sure to tell your senior." Shortly after I pressed the send button, a phone call came. Yeah... flustered, and dumbfounded. I pressed the call button and put the phone to my ear. It's polite to end it with a call, not a text...
"…hello?."
“Lady…”
"Mr. Joo-hyuk, you're a good person." I thought these words were worth a hundred flashy words. You're such a good person, you're too good for me to meet. I swallowed my words and opened my mouth again.
"…sorry."
“… …”
“I know it’s absurd and ridiculous, but… I guess I’m not ready to meet anyone yet.”
“…Is it because of my ex-boyfriend?”
I flinched momentarily and looked down at the phone next to my ear. What is this person talking about? I was so shocked that I just gaped at him, and then a lowered voice came out of the phone again.
“I was taking Yeoju back when I saw the man in front of me.”
You saw Jungkook? Take him to me? I didn't go to Jungkook's house. I started to rip my flesh with my fingernails.
“That man said that he was the person who knew Cha Yeo-ju best in this world.”
“… …”
"Honestly, at first I denied it. I thought it was just some nonsense my ex-boyfriend was making up. But on the other hand, I was also anxious. What if Yeo-ju really had feelings for her ex-boyfriend?"
“…Mr. Joo-hyuk,”
"I know. We just met yesterday. But… I really like you, Yeoju-ssi…"
You like me? We've only met for a few hours, that's all. I held my breath and focused on the voice on the other end of the phone. 'But. I can wait, Miss Yeoju.' While wondering if that was possible, I remembered when I first met him seven years ago.
“It’s Jeon Jungkook. My name is.”
“… …”
I exhaled. Yeah… I used to feel that way too. I felt what Joohyuk felt when I first met Jeon Jungkook. I felt it again. I'm such a piece of trash. Ignoring the other person's feelings and only thinking about myself.egoist.
“I’ll wait.”
I couldn't give a single answer and had no choice but to hang up. That guy still occupied my heart, and I was still a coward. Now, I even thought, "I never want to experience this again, but if I hold his hand again... won't the oppressive pain in my chest go away?"
If something like that happens again, will I be able to endure it?
“…and, can I live without you?”
[Jjintteok's Saddam]
I wrote this while I was asleep, so it's a mess. Please just read it this once. ㅎㅎ… .
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