Beomgyu's point of view,
It all started the day I became your partner.
“Who are you paired with this time?”
“Kim Yeo-ju”
“Hey, who is that?”
“.. There is. There is a kid that other kids don’t know about.”
“Choi Beom-gyu’s partners have an immutable truth.”
"Ah, do you like Choi Beomgyu unconditionally? But honestly, if it's his face, it's understandable."
" what.. "
"Want to make a bet?"
" what? "
"I like you, I don't like you in a month"
"What are you talking about..?"
"Could it be that the best in the world, Choi Beom-gyu, has no confidence?"
“ … ”
Since I was young, I have always been interested in girls. The girls in my class, the neighborhood ladies, and the women passing by on the street.
Thanks to his good looks, he received many special privileges.
If I didn't look like this, would they have given me such special treatment? No, they definitely wouldn't have.
But since receiving special privileges didn't harm me, I just smiled and enjoyed them.
I had never lost to anyone and I thought everyone would like me.
But, Kim Yeo-ju was definitely different.
" hi? "
“Uh..huh?”
“I think this is my first time pairing up with you. I don’t think I did it last year either.”
"Oh.. We were in the same class last year?"
"Don't you remember..?"
"..?"
It was really obvious that he didn't know me. There was never a time when I went somewhere and didn't get noticed.
At first, it was just curiosity. It was like the typical drama where you think, 'You're the first woman to treat me like this.'
But I didn't know until then that the sign of love is always curiosity about that person.
I became more and more curious. What kind of chocolate milk do you drink after you finish your meal, why do you drink it, what kind of movies do you like and why?
And why doesn't it seem like you like me?
Maybe it was because of Choi Soo-bin who was always by my side, but even after two weeks, it didn't seem like he liked me.
“Beomgyu, I think I need to help Soobin.”
“Huh? Oh.. Soobin said his foot hurt?”
“Yeah yeah! Tteokbokki is… that”
" .. "
"Let's meet up and eat together this weekend. How about that?"
At first, I felt bad. Why was I always the one making plans? Before, other girls were always trying to make plans with me.
I just don't understand how you keep making me want you.
But I thought it was a good opportunity. A chance to definitely make her like me.
It was a chance to confirm that you are no different from other girls.
however,
"No..! You don't have to apologize!"
" uh..? "
“Well.. it wasn’t that uncomfortable, I was just a little surprised.. ”
" .. really? "
“Yeah..! I’m serious.”
“ Haha.. that’s a relief though”
I felt something strange when you said you liked me. It was something I had heard before, but it was something I had never felt before.
It felt like a part of my heart was floating, as if I was walking on clouds.
I kept thinking, what is this feeling and why do I feel this way?
And then I became more and more curious about you and wanted you. So in the end, I ended up liking you first and more.
I felt an emotion for the first time, an emotion called 'love'.
But I tried to ignore it. The reason I was kind to you was not because of this feeling, but because of my petty pride.
And I think you like me like that
I decided that when you start to like me enough to forgive me, then I'll ask for your forgiveness properly.
Then one day,
"Hey. Lift your head."
" uh? "
puck,
“ ..!! “
“.. that piece of trash”
“ … ”
puck,
I didn't even fight back. There was nothing wrong with what Choi Soo-bin said. I deceived your heart, and that action was so trashy that it couldn't even be considered a joke.
I just kept getting hit. I felt like I had to get hit like this to relieve my guilt a little.
And I knew that Choi Soo-bin felt the same way as me.
But I couldn't tell you the truth. I kept trying to make myself look good. I wanted to be a little more affectionate and kind to you.
"There's more to Soobin hiding from you, Yeoju, than you might think."
" .. uh? "
"Honestly, I can't tell you why we fought. But..."
“ … “
“I hope you don’t trust Soobin too much.”
“ … ”
I still remember your expression vividly. It seemed like you trusted me more, but inside, there was a very thick trust between you and Choi Soo-bin. 18 years was a very high wall for me to overcome.
I was annoyed by your expression for no reason. So I decided to deceive you more carefully. I wanted the trust between me and Choi Soo-bin to be broken. Whether it was because I hated you or because I liked you.
So that you can trust me more. So that you can remember the one month with me more than the 18 years with Choi Soo-bin.
But, my plan went up in smoke that day.
“Uh.. heroine.. “
“ .. bad guy “
" uh..? "
When I saw your face, I knew right away that my mask was shattered. I kept adding to it to make it bigger and more real, until it finally broke and fell apart under the weight.
At the same time, I felt a side of my chest getting cold. No, to be exact, it felt like it was going to break. This was also a feeling I had never felt before.
It was then that I first realized how painful it was to have someone I loved resent and hate me.
It hurts more to have someone hate me than to have someone not like me.
I couldn't go to school. I thought your eyes towards me would be filled with resentment, and not the same as before.
Even though everyone was looking at me with eyes of admiration and affection, when I saw your eyes filled with resentment, I felt like everything would fall apart.
But I couldn't help wanting to see you. I went to your house just in case. It was the time when you left school.
Swish,
“..!!”
Bam,
But what I saw was you patting Choi Soo-bin's back, who seemed to be crying. Both her back and her shoulders were soaking wet, but you were only concentrating on Choi Soo-bin, the child, and comforting her.
I felt my hair getting wet, my clothes getting wet and sticking to my body, and I felt the cold air swirling around me.
But what was colder than anything else was my heart. I knew that my actions were coming back to me as cold raindrops, drenching me.
In the end, I came back home all wet. And I just sat down. The weight of my cold, frozen heart was heavier than I thought, so I just sat down.
My heart, which had seemed like an immutable truth, completely changed when it met the variable called you.
You were a complete variable to me that I could not solve or change.
And perhaps it was only natural that I, who am like this, would fall in love with you. It was an unchangeable and unchangeable fact that the imperfect me wanted and sought the perfect you.
The emotion called 'love' that I felt for the first time was more difficult, painful, and sad than I thought.