[TOMORROW X TOGETHER Beomgyu] To the point of aching

Episode 10. Between Resentment and Longing

Since that day, the heroine had shut herself away in her room for days.

Every time the meal tray was taken away, Dani's worried gaze followed, but she didn't want to say a word.

 

Her mind was a tangled mess, like a knot of twisted threads.

 

Her resentment toward her father and the desire to understand that he must have had no choice kept taking turns in her heart several times a day.

 

When resentment came first, the fact that that one silence had brought an entire family crashing down weighed on her chest.

If it hadn't been for that silence, Beomgyu wouldn't have lost his parents, or wandered for ten years.

 

When understanding came first, she lost confidence that she would have made a different choice if she had been in that place.

If she had been her father back then, could she really have chosen the truth even if it meant abandoning her family?

 

Juggling those two feelings day after day was exhausting for the heroine.

Even when she slept, those two feelings followed her into her dreams, and when she opened her eyes, her whole body was always drenched in sweat.

 

 

 

*

 

 

 

On the third day, Dani finally kicked the door open, looking like he could not take it anymore.

 

"Young lady, you'll end up damaging your health at this rate. The master hasn't been able to eat a proper meal either."

 

At that, the heroine reluctantly sat up.

Only then did it occur to her that her father must be just as broken as she was.

The two of them sat facing each other at the dining table, and for the first time in days, words passed between them.

 

"Please eat, Father."

 

Even when they faced each other at mealtimes, the heroine didn't say anything beyond that one line.

If it had been before, the table would have been noisy with one conversation after another, but now only the sound of chopsticks and spoons moved back and forth.

Kim Yuhyeong only lifted his spoon carefully, glancing at his daughter, and couldn't bring himself to speak first.

It was an evening when even the sound of bowls clinking rang out unusually loud.

Just as the heroine set down her spoon, she suddenly asked,

 

"Back then, if the truth had been revealed... could Lord Choi have lived?"

 

Kim Yuhyeong's hand stopped.

 

"...I don't know. Maybe I would have been executed there with him too."

"Still... shouldn't that have been what you did?"

"...Yes. I should have."

 

That calm, matter-of-fact answer only hurt the heroine more.

If he'd made excuses instead, she felt like her heart wouldn't have been this heavy.

Her father just seemed like a man silently accepting the punishment he had given himself.

 

 

 

*

 

 

 

At night, when she was alone in her room, the heroine kept tracing back the days he had stayed in this house.

The teasing tone he used as he joked by the embroidery frame, the eaves where they laughed together in the rain, the night sky they sat side by side looking up at.

All those moments had probably not been familiarity at all, but moments when forgotten memories came back to life.

 

Then had Beomgyu recognized her from the very beginning?

And after that, one question remained that she was too afraid to ask.

How much did Beomgyu resent her, or rather, this house?

 

His family had been ruined by her father's silence, so it would have been stranger if he didn't resent them.

And yet he had drifted into this house with a wounded, battered body and done nothing but smile.

 

She couldn't tell whether that smile was genuine, or just a desperate effort to endure.

 

Without realizing it, the heroine walked toward the empty room where he had stayed.

Moonlight slipping through the crack in the door faintly lit the empty bedding.

 

That day, his face as he asked, "Do you know this jade pendant?" came back to her again.

If he really had known, why hadn't he said anything then?

It wouldn't have been strange if he'd revealed who he was, resented her, and confronted her.

 

And yet he had stayed in this house, showing no sign of it at all.

Why had he? Was it just because he needed a place to recover, or was there another reason?

Questions kept piling on top of questions, but she couldn't find an answer to any of them.

The heroine sat down right there and murmured toward the silent room,

 

"...Why didn't you say anything. Why on earth not."

 

In the end, she too had no choice but to understand the heart of a father who had trembled in fear while trying to protect his child.

Between resentment and understanding, the heroine kept collapsing somewhere in the middle.

Unable to lean fully either way, her heart only wore away day by day.

At this rate, it felt like all those questions would eventually eat away at her.

 

Suddenly, she took out that wooden token and held it in her hand. The half token was still cold.

This small piece of wood was the only thread connecting her to him now.

 

Like the other half of the jade pendant, even this heart seemed to have only half of itself left, lost with nowhere to go.

If she could find the owner of this half, maybe all these countless questions would also find an answer somewhere.

 

Resentment, longing, and all those questions would only end when she met him again.