09ㅣAgain
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I don't know how many hours I sat there, my eyes reddened. I was lost in thought, mulling over that voice that lingered in my mind. It seemed as if he didn't know the depth of my pain, how desperately I wanted to die, but his voice was filled with sincerity.
I couldn't stay like this, lost in thought, just thinking about my boyfriend. I had to save my life, which had already become a wreck. After barely getting up and getting ready, I headed outside for a bit.
To escape the tormenting dreams and awaken to reality, I headed downtown. Bright sunlight bathed me, and crowds of people trotted about. I felt like I could find some peace of mind amidst the bustling crowd.
The wind and people brushed past me. Bright sunlight, carrying the sky, illuminated me, and small birds swooped among the people. His voice, piercing my ears without a sound, vanished completely, filling my ears with the white noise of people.
Feeling a little more at peace, I entered a cozy-looking cafe. I saw someone I hadn't seen in a while, and a smile. My heart warmed involuntarily, and I felt a sense of elation. I ordered a sweet cafe mocha, something I don't usually drink.
I sat by the window, where the wall was made entirely of windows, and opened my laptop, allowing me to see the entire landscape outside. I'd started writing before something happened, but I gave up mid-stream. Reinvigorated, I began writing. When I got stuck, I'd look out the window or take in the breeze, and then continue.
While writing, I focused solely on the writing, not thinking about anything else. I felt like I was the main character, so immersed in the writing that time flew by. It was the only time in a long time I didn't think about him. It felt like I was finally back in my own life.