[txt short collection💡]

First Love's First Love (2) - Soobin

(Subin's POV)





After breaking up with my first love
I was sitting alone in a room that had gone cold,
and breakup felt far colder and more hollow than I’d expected.




It was a relationship where our personalities clashed terribly.

If I played music, she’d frown and say it was noisy,
and if we went to eat something spicy, she’d get annoyed every time and leave me gasping for air.


In the end, I was so exhausted from always having to be the one who held back in the relationship.




"Why do you always only think about yourself?"




The sharp words she threw at me at the very end
stuck in my ear like an awl, and honestly, I felt incredibly wronged.

I was trying to meet her halfway in my own way, too,
and I’d trimmed away everything I had.



But at that moment,
someone suddenly flashed through my mind so strongly it was like a lie.
A name I’d forgotten for a while,
Han Yeoju.




No matter what music I played,
you would listen with sparkling eyes, like you were hearing the most precious thing in the world.


Even while eating spicy food, secretly gulping down water again and again,
you’d smile in front of me and say it was delicious.


When I played basketball, you quietly kept watch over the cold gym stands
and cheered for me more than I did for myself.




'We really do match, in taste and personality. Right?'




Thinking back, the cruel, selfish line my past self had said to you so brightly
had become a boomerang,
as if it were crushing my heart.






Yeoju, I’m sorry I only realize it now.


It wasn’t that you matched my personality.
You cared for me so much that you were killing off your entire world
just to fit yourself entirely to me.



Immature as I was, I thought that tearfully tender kindness of yours
was something I could take for granted.



It’s really way too late, but,
there was no one in this world who understood me as completely as you did.

My breath caught from the belated rush of guilt and regret,
and I was desperately missing your face, someone I hadn’t even contacted for years.
When I came to my senses, my hands were already trembling.




I opened the chat window with you, covered in dust after years of being untouched,

and stared blankly at your profile picture, now as unfamiliar as the years that had drifted us apart.
'How have you been?'




"I'm sorry, Yeoju."

'I just suddenly thought of you.'

I don't even know how many times I wrote and erased it, staying up all night.

Yeoju.



Even though I knew in my bones how selfish
and shameless it was to contact you at this hour,
I missed the
that unconditional warmth you gave me so much that in the end I hit send.
My awful regret, flying out after breaking the long silence.



Yeoju, are you asleep?-

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